prude?

[blurr]

Just wondering if I am a prude or are men really this obsessed about sex.

A bit of background, I am separated and have young children, as does the person I am currently seeing. We are simply dating and enjoying each other's company and it is not too serious as I do not want to involve the children.

In the beginning I used to enjoy his company and we would meet for lunch and dinner. As time has progressed I feel like we only meet for sex. My partner increasingly has to travel abroad with his business so we constantly text each other too.

But all our conversations inevitably end up about sex. He is always horny and will sometimes send me pictures, which I never ask for and then expects one back. Occasionally I will send one but I feel under pressure to do so sometimes and he is disappointed if I do not.

My ex dh was never interested in sex with me and neither did he ever openly talk about it. We were not very adventurous either so I feel I am a bit inexperienced compared to my partner now. So I am faced with two extremes.

The question is whether this is normal, do men really only think about one thing. I wish we could talk about other things somethings not just sexual. Am I a prude for not wanting to always see pics of himself (quite explict)?

Every time I feel like ending it, he'll be really loving and attentive but then he pushes me way he constantly talks or wants sex.

Sorry for the long message. Just a bit confused.

I don't think you are partners - you are his fuck buddy.
There is more to a relationship than sex, even in the beginning when you can't keep your hands off one another.
When sex becomes all it is about then that's not good.
And you should never send pictures if you are uneasy about doing so.
I think you deserve (and want) more than this guy is offering you and it sounds very much like he is using you.

No, of course you'e not a prude.

You want an actual conversation with a man you're seeing. Not prudish whatsoever.

Don't send the pictures if you don't want to. If you feel pressured into something, don't do it.

Sounds to me as though he just wants a casual sexual relationship.

That's different from what you want. You also just want 'a bit of fun', but with some sort of emotional connection.

Tell him to bugger off before he brings your confidence down any more.

I'm not sure it's about what is normal or not, it's about what you are comfortable and happy with. Just because your DP has sex as this high a priority in his life doesn't mean you should if you don't want to. And don't just carry on if it makes you feel awkward or unhappy, tell him. Either you can make it work between you, or you can't - but unless he knows how you feel he won't know there's anything 'wrong'.

I think he's making his intentions towards you very clear.
You are for sex.

Yes, agree with the fuck buddy/just for sex comments. He's certainly not behaving like a boyfriend/partner, from what you've written.
Do NOT allow anyone to pressure you into sending pics, or even sexting if you're not comfortable with it.

Have you told him that you are uncomfortable? Or do you just squirm inwardly and go along with it?

It's not a matter of being a prude. It's either about comfort, or just enjoying different things. Some people are highly sexual. Sexual texts and images on a frequent basis will be part of a loving relationship for them. Others aren't, and will never do that type of thing. Some people like to do it when the mood takes them, but not the rest of the time.

If you are used to an ex-husband who had no interest in sex, it'll probably all feel bizarre, and out of your comfort zone.

If you aren't enjoying it, though, tell him. If he won't quit it, you'll know that he only saw you as a fuck buddy/sex object/etc.

Sorry, but he sounds really, really boring.

If he's a one-trick pony and it's not what you want in a relationship then dump him. That's the point of dating. Not what's normal or abnormal for other but what is acceptable or unacceptable to you personally.

BTW.... 'explicit pictures' and expectation that you'll do the same made my toes curl. I'd have to respond with something withering like 'last chicken in the shop' . BTW... serious point.... if these pictures are digital who knows where they could end up?

It just sounds as if you're mismatched. Simple as that, I think...

I agree that he sounds boring.

I do enjoy the sex and I know and have told him many times that he treats me as his 'shag' buddy but he just has this way in which I 'fall' for him again. He'll tell me that he loves me etc etc and yes he probably is playing me.

I just don't understand why he constantly needs images, sometimes I like sending them when I am up for it but I can't do this daily! More recently whenever we see each other it is only for sex and whenever we do talk it is about what he would like to do.

I guess I wanted a bit more of an emotional attachment, want to go out with him and actually really do like him but I guess he doesn't see it that way.

No...he doesn't.

Urg the guy I started seeing and still am in his eyes (but I'm trying to get out of it) sounds exactly like this although we haven't actually had sex he is horny alllllllll the time all day every day he will change any subject we are talking about into sex, sends pictures of his bits at random times of the day and asks if I'm wet...erm no love! Mostly I ignore them and he will then text something even more annoying like "do you like the picture I sent" NOOOOOPPPPE! and he will ask for them back and i just think I'm really not going to stop my day to send a picture of my vagina to you! He has never had a picture and he calls me frigid...But I don't think I'm a prude or frigid I just don't want to send pictures of my bits to people I don't find it a turn on as he obviously does! He's got very boring very quickly hence why he has to go!!! Just don't want to be rude cos we have been friends for about 8 years

Attention from a man is nice but he's after one thing and its very boring to never talk about or do anything else! Get rid!

Put it this way - even if all men were that obsessed with sex, only the ill-mannered ones would make you feel that uncomfortable and used.

Thank you all for your relies btw!

I've been wanting to ask for ages as it's been playing on my mind, feel a bit relieved that I've posted.

Fifi2406 - this is exactly how he behaves with me!

Can they really be horny alllll the time?

Some are. Some have very dull lives and think about nothing else. You're a cheap version of a sex chat line or a live porn hook-up..... not a nice thought, is it?

Who on earth wants to carve a path with someone who is essentially a giant, walking hard on?

Ugh. And ugh again. Away beast -away!!

"My partner increasingly has to travel abroad with his business "

You're also a cheap alternative to the hotel 'adult' channel...

And btw, being a sexually liberated woman isn't about allowing yourself to be used as a mastubatory aid, but rather being confident enough to expect what you want to be taken into account.

You are not a prude. He is an assault on your boundaries, making outlandish demands, and berating you for not providing!

Expect more!

Fifi & blurr, just tell them to get onto adult websites & leave you alone.

They'll find people there to send knob shots to their hearts content.

They may not be women, but who cares?

Seriously, don't send pictures to anyone! God knows where they'll end up, he could put them up on any website he likes once he has them and more than one woman has been blackmailed with pics like these.
And no, it's not normal and you're not a prude.

Have a you got a cat?

Text him "Are you ready for a picture of my pussy?"
Then send him a photo of the cat, with "You're dumped" on a sign round its neck.

Some guys are just like this... not relationship material, though. Sex-obsessed idiots really.

If you're after a proper relationship, ditch him and look for somebody else. Sex is better when people aren't obsessed with it anyway IMO!

I mean apart from anything else it's boring! Just because you're interested in sex also, it doesn't mean that every conversation has to centre around it. If a couple has a shared interest in, say, cars, that's fine, but you wouldn't expect their entire lives to revolve around cars and for them to never talk about anything else.

I talk about sex with DP but it's not the only topic of conversation. This morning we have talked about a house we're hoping to rent together, a funny thing DS said to me, our careers, buying a kitchen for the house we want to rent, a dream I had, and food.

Fifi, why don't you tell this man to go fuck himself and that you do not want any further contact with him? If he continues sending you pictures of his clammy little knob when you have asked him to stop, you can report him to the police.

OP: you can dump yours, as well. There is no bigger waste of effort than trying to make a man 'love' you when he is only interested in a casual sexual relationship. And one who ignores your requests for the relationship to involve something more than sex is one who doesn't like women much and is very selfish, so just dump and move on. There are other men out there who will treat you better than this - and there are worse things than being single, anyway.