i cant beleive this is happening

[bluesarahjayne]

Im new to mumsnet, and i have no children of my own, just two brillient godsons and a sister who swares by mumsnet so i hope its ok to post.

i am 30 in 8 weeks and have been battleing cervical cancer for the last year, i get more results on friday!

I have been married for 4 and a half years and last week my husband said our marriage was over, no warning nothing.
He says he needs to sort his head out and needs time, im in limbo and its a dark and scary place in so alone and scaerd and cant eat sleep or stop crying.
I know things have not been easy, we both live with my mother as we were saving for a house, he is still there, i am staying with my sisters husband (they are seperated but on very good terms) i see my sister everyday.
I went to work on monday bat was in such a state they told me to go home take as much time as i needed and they will try to find me a job when i feel better, so as i was contracted to them i will not be paid.

no husband, no job, no home ,no money.
One minuet he texts me he loves me then he calls and yells at me, he says i have dystroyed him,
i have always stood by him, when he was sacked for stealing from work i stood by him, when he has walked out of jobs i have paid the bills i even got him a good job where i used to work, i have tryed so hard to be what he wants me to be and now he says he hates me does not want to be near me cant stand me.
I know being ill put alot a stress on him but i did not ask for cancer, i worked through all my treatment and paid the bill.
Im so alone and so so sad...... i dont know what to do now and i just want him to take me back and understand how sorry i am.

sounds like he is very bad for her and she needs to kick him in to touch.I know it's hard when you are married, but she needs no stress in her life if she is to get the most out of her treatment.

It sounds like she is very lucky as she as a sister and friend with head screwed on.

It has to be one day at a time and not with him in it.

Well i always knew the power of prayer worked, i prayed and prayed for something good to come to her life and it did.... she has won a holiday to greece for 2 for a week.
Shes going with mum, tomorrow!!!!!!
So at last she has had a bath and washed her hair,
and while she is away i am going to blitz her room, 1st-dh has got the paint and i am going to get rid of every trace of that s*head she married.
She very sick today, but her dr said it is ok to go on the holiday.

Hello kimi, your cards arrived today. Thank you, your message made me cry.

What time is she leaving? I think I'll be able to come over tomorrow as I felt a lot better during the day today. Are you prepared to risk catching a disgusting chest infection off me? Assuming I get some sleep tonight and don't feel even worse in the morning that is?

kimi, glad to hear your sister has some good news and something to look forward to. I have only just read this and you are being such a great sister. Best wishes to you both x

im so happy for her, she has gone out tonight with my new dp so we are all trying to rally round her.
I just feel so useless.

Kimi, just read this thread for the first time tonight. BSJ reminds me (apart from the cancer) of myself when my first DH left. I felt just like she does, but turned things around very quickly without meaning to. What happened was that I thought that if I wanted him back i would have to buck my ideas up, stop crying, pleading etc and act as if he no longer mattered to me. So I joined a gym, acted as if I didn't care about him any longer, tried to make new friends, went out with old friends all in a bid to convince him that I was still interesting/attractive etc and that I was getting on with my life. He didn't come back, but who knows maybe he would have done except within about two weeks of this new regime I realised that actually I was better off. Yes I was a bit lonely, but actually happier and began to see all the things that had been wrong in our marriage. Then after a month of this new existence I met someone new, 8 years on we are married and have three children and the most fantastic relationship. I look back now and wonder what I was so upset about.

Tell her - I promise it gets better. There is hope.

thank you glassofwine, i will show sis your post. i know its one day at a time and its going to be slow. But i know she can make it, she just needs to know she can.