Found on DP tablet...

[Kione]

A series of flirting conversations with old friends, one or two with whome he's had sex. I have been with him 7 years had DD in 2009, these chats are from 2010,11 Dec. 2013...
and one dodgy conversation about his phone being left under the sofa at one of his colleages (female) house. It might be the night they had the xmas party when he told me he stayed at the hotel where the party was. But I am not sure. Even if it wasnt the night of the party, he has never mentioned going to her house.
If you remember me, we havent been getting on that great, and we went through a stage where I didnt feel like having sex with him...
So I am so confused. Should I confront him? how'??
I only opened his tablet cos our computer is being repaired, fb wad open with these chats. I am sure many more could have been deleted...
I dont know how to feel right now

Lolly, they work together, they will be talking face to face. He always deletes all messages.

I wouln't bother contacting her again. Her reply was obviously a lie. Finding it and taking it home don't tally with the conversation. How did he know she had picked up phone-why did she not contact him to say she had phone.
You wont get any further with this and she has had time to think out her reply probably after discussion with your DP

So what is your OH saying about you contacting her?

"Don't suppose you've seen my mobile" direct to her only no other party goers just doesn't fit the situation.

they have now talked most likely too so any further messages will be fruitless. Sorry op

last night he said go ahead ask her.
I am going to repky: no still doesnt make sense as tu how it was under your sofa and you had to check if you had it. But I have my answer now.

Course he did. He'd probably warned her in that case.

I'm sorry - I think you have your answer too. What they are saying doesn't make sense.

See I don't mind that he warned her, it was quite clear from the start. Now is clearer even with warnings, they are not as clever as they think or they really think I am that stupid? It really hurts, specially because DP and I where getting on well after lots of ups and downs. On Saturday it was my birthday and he gave me the best one ever, pressies night out, the lot

She put a kiss on her message?! How inappropriate?! And said 'no biggie'?! How fucking rude!! It clearly IS a 'biggie' as she's been talking to your DH and KNOWS it's a 'biggie'!!

If I was her & I'd received a message like that and I'd genuinely done nothing I think I'd be quite anxious to reassure you. She just sounds flippant (and about 16).

I'm furious on your behalf Kione!

I know, I feel the same! She is older than me I think, and I am the same I would reply straight away, whith a "what? no way, bla, bla... god sorry it lead you to think that bla bla"
Its just so so hard to believe, I am like in a dream right now

Just read over your 2nd msg OP - where you set out their convo.

He knew that he'd lost his mobile at her place.

He asked her and she said "just checked, it was under the sofa".

If their story were true, which it fucking isn't, then even if the beginning of their convo went like that, the rest would go "under your sofa, wtf is it doing there?!!".

He didn't lose it at the venue. She didn't pick it up at the venue for him.

He went back to her house and spent some time, one way or another on the sofa.

Now, I'd be a lot more inclined to believe that he went there for a catch up/night cap with friend/s - but the lies say otherwise.

I suspect he's going to say something slong the line of "well, I knew yuo'd go mad if you knew I went back to hers for a drink and ended up passing out on the couch"...because you're not dumb and he'll know that.

Tell him you know the truth (don't say how, I mean, I know it's just a gut feeling at this stage, but you could let him think that perhaps you had other evidence) and he has until 8pm to tell you the truth - whatever it may be..

Well, I am clearing up the spare room. Why I am sad instead of being angry with them??? Crying my eyes out. Everything was looking up...

I would feel dream-like as well, all that adrenaline is exhausting apart from anything else.

It'll be interesting how your DP reacts when he gets in. He must know you've been in contact - has he text or called you?

Another reply:
I'm a bit shocked at yr message ?! ... I don't see why I need to explain anymore about it ! I picked the phone up for him , went home & found it in the morning with my bag by the sofa ... If that doesn't make sense I'm not sure wot else to tell u !

She is making me doubt too? good god I really don't know where I stand :(

I told him, because we are talking about the interview via email too

The tears are shock. It takes a couple of weeks to stop I'm afraid. I am 3 months in. I'm more incredulous now. Had one night of extreme anger, but mostly sad, hurt, ambivilent, confused and incredulous. It comes in waves. Holding your hand x

But did you doubt at all? I am terrified thinking that I am making a huge mistake and a fool of myself

I've read all this from the beginning and I would daresay that the pair of them colluded to have their story straight. They had plenty of time to do so.

He and she cannot be trusted. Forget the spare room if it is for him, I'd be packing his bags now and tell him to leave.

Kione, such a devious man as well is not a good male role model for your DD, she is also learning about relationships here from the two of you. What are you also teaching her?.

DD wouldn't have a clue? she is not here right now. We don't speak about it until she goes to bed. And she is 3. I used to have very bad PMS so she has seen worse and I even explain it to her (even if she is 3)

So next part from me:

"in the conversation it says after DP asked you if you had seen it and you replied, just checked it was under the sofa. I am sorry if I have everything wrong, honestly, but how on earth id it end under the sofa is what I don't understand."

Maybe I shouldn't apologise so much but I have to just in case I am wrong, that is how I am. Reply:

"It's fine, u don't need to apologise .. It's just where my handbag was .. it's that long ago I had forgotten bout it all to be honest ! It wud have just fell out with everything else wen I chucked my bag down ! I'm sry if it isn't answering yr questions but like I say I'm not sure wot else to tell u"

So both agreeing in handbag story. Really really sick right now.

Yes I doubted! Lots! Depite my gut. My situation was a bit different. Found out DP had been a paying member of internet married affairs websites. Spent 7 weeks saying it was ego boost of online flirting and people telling him he looked hot in his photo. Then I found out he had actually met up with 5 women and says he had sex with 2 of them 5 times each. Mind blowing!

How did you found out the truth? this is my difficulty right now!

Kione, forget her, you need to have this out with him, again, she could be innocent in all of this, you just don't know for sure.

I, for one, think her story re the mob is feasible, too many folk her jumping on the bandwaggon telling you to get rid, you're clearly not even sure anything has happened so take what is said on here with a pinch of salt, none of us know you or him or her, you know better than anyone what could be really going on, if anything!

If she picked it up, how would he have guessed that she had it rather than somebody else? I would have thought he would phone the hotel first? Also, wouldn't have replied - yes, I put it in my bag. What is your instinct telling you?