MIL and I have differing outlooks on life - I could write screeds...We don't get along particularly. However, in her small family there is a pressure for everything to be lovely, so nothing is ever said (except via my grimacing features, apparently!) and nobody pulls her up on her utter selfishness. Her husband and two sons just let her get on with it, cook her dinners, cater parties etc. She isn't so keen on me and in particular lately has been quite overt about not having me around, but has tried (and failed) to cover it up in terms of 'I thought you'd like some time alone.'
So now she has cancer (contained and treatable) and is having chemotherapy. I don't dislike her in a way that means I wish this on her: I just find I'm quite detached and don't consider that I am part of the family (she has made this clear without saying the words) so I have kept slightly out of the way, but responded positively to texts or requests for me to get her certain things.
I don't know what else to do or how to behave. I don't like her and after one memorable rejection had decided not to try to please her any more. I can't talk to DH about it, he's very sanguine by nature but his mum is suffering and that's just not nice. I'm absolutely filled with resentment towards her and hating having to continue this fakery, but aware that that makes me sound like a bell-end when she's ill.
I don't know what I want from this really, I know I will continue to be nice and listen and visit when summoned etc, I suppose I would just like to hear from other people how tricky it is when you can't be really honest with anyone around. Even if you just post to tell me to get over myself.