Gut instinct?

[charlottesmum5]

I'm about to get ready to meet someone I've been seeing only a few weeks. The first couple of weeks I felt on cloud 9, he was complimentary, text me loads, talked about being with me forever etc. It all changed last Saturday and I'm not sure why. I came back from my grandfathers funeral ( I was away for 3 days) and was obviously feeling sensitive, but it was at this point that he started bickering at me, putting me down, said I needed therapy, criticised my sense of humour. I ended up sobbing in the car park after this tirade. I've not seen him since, he said he's been working 12 hour days ( if I have had a short day he's sarcastic) but we are planning to meet today. I feel sick, actually like I might vomit and my heart is going fast. He's only sent the odd text in the week and rang me last night but his formerly kind funny tone has gone. When we met he told me he'd been in a safe house for 2 years with the help of mankind as he had been beaten and cut for 7 years by his ex. I'm his first date since this happened 3 years ago. He's so aggressive when he talks to me now and I had no sympathy from him about my loss. What's going on :(

He's shown you quite clearly he's got a massive cuntish side - so get rid of him! You don't have to explain yourself and give reasons. Just cut him out.

Get rid and don't meet him ever again.

God, don't even go there. Cut him off now.

He's showing his true colours that what is going on!

But it's ok cos you can walk away....

Why didn't you fuck him off when he started having a go at you?
Why are you meeting him today?

Good grief cut this nasty arsehole out, of course they start lovely and make you feel like you're walking on air. Fortunately he's shown you his abusive streak early on. Get rid.

As your only a few weeks in he should still be on best behaviour etc. This kind of behaviour is a massive red flag. He has shown his true nature, he won't change or get any better. Sounds like a massive twat. Your better off rid.

As others have said I wouldn't bother seeing him again, you've been seeing him a few weeks, he's already had you in tears, can you imagine what your relationship would be like in a few years.

It sounds as tough he is very scarred by his experiences and is attacking as the best form of defence. He needs help and you definitely do not need him in your life. Agree with the others - don't see him again.

The whole 'talking about being together forever' thing after a few weeks is a red flag over a red tannoy.

All this stuff isn't nice. The relationship won't be fun. Your man has a whole package of issues. Don't start on the slippery slope of trying to fix them.

Cut losses, lick wounds. I'm sorry he wasn't the man you had hoped for.

Do you believe he was in a safe house or is it more likely that his ex was in a refuge?

Either way, run away and keep on running.

Not sure it's even gut instinct op, it's loud and clear waving in your face that he is not a nice person.

Don't lower yourself to be with a not nice person. Why would you need that.

Thanks ladies. At the point he had me in tears I didn't tell him to fuck off because I'd only buried (well cremated) my grandad 18 hours previously and I didn't feel strong enough. Plus we were in a public car park out in the open. I've found out loads of lies too about job/his house etc which doesn't bode well. He's 6ft and 16 stone and in 5ft 2 so was scared of being confrontational. I assumed he would have empathy. I asked if he had counselling for his experience and he said he didn't need it. He said I needed therapy because I cried. My friend said to me she reckons he was the abuser and maybe he did time? I asked if his ex got a custodial sentence for what she did and he said no she just got referred to the mental health team? Surely if things are so bad you have to flee in the middle of the night with the help of the police and mankind then she would have been charged? I don't get it :-(

Dump and run OP x

I'm going to tell him not to contact me anymore. Do you think it's acceptable by text lol?

Yes!!! Please don't meet him.

You should not be scared of 'being confrontational' just because he is a lot bigger than you - that in itself is a big red flag.

I'm glad you've decided to dump him. :)

And I'm sorry to hear about your gandad. :( How awful to have to deal with that behaviour so soon after the funeral.

Don't look for explanation in what he's said.

Do not ever, ever see this person again or you will live to regret it.

Get support from people in RL, including the police if necessary, to cope with any fear you have of him.

Agree don't try and make sense of this rubbish, just run. Seriously, the guy sounds unhinged.

When you particularly needed a shoulder to cry on he showed what a cunt he is... Ditch and run! Text is fine.