Talk to me about anger management for DH

[PuffDaddy]

DH has a foul temper. Very short fuse and can blow up over innocuous things - the traffic, my tone of voice, anything. I would say this anger surely stems from his daily use of marijuana. He disputes this and says he always had a short fuse. On the whole we have a good relationship but all too often we have a blazing row over...nothing and his reaction is disproportionate with the catalyst.

So this morning example, the buggy was in his way as he was trying to rush out the door to work so he started shouting and swearing. I told him his language was disgusting and this turned to me "f*ck you" etc. He has never been violent towards me but his rage is unpredictable and he can throw stuff, kick doors etc. His face contorts with anger and in those moments, I can't stand him.

Anyway I am sick of this - can anyone talk to me about anger management? Is it available on the NHS and does it work?

Jibberoo - you seem to have backtracked furiously from your first post?
Babyheave - yes, weed does affect some people's behaviour. But IME, it is a bit like alcohol - ie, people who are loud, violent, nasty etc when pissed tend - in the main - to be that way inclined anyway.

It is very sad to see you backtracking, Jib

For what is worth, fully agreeing with those who say that you, Jib and Puff, cannot control your OHs, or help them get better.
Except by convincing them that they will lose their families if they don't sort themselves out.
And you may have to kick them out for them to believe.

Hi ladies. Sorry to hijack the post again puff but I keep having to rerelease this thread to give me the strength to leave. My head is telling me to leave, that I am married to a difficult moody person ( not violent at all just moody and says nasty things) and that I'm best off without and starting again. But my heart says no this is my husband, I need to support him through this and try and get him to stop smoking and see his actions are wrong. But I know that's not something I can do and it has to come from him. I feel terribly guilty leaving, I feel like I'm giving up on our little family but I don't know how to make it work. The thought of the divorce process and having to leave our home and move back to my original town where my family all seems like too much! Any words of wisdom for me??x

All I would say golfpro is that life is very, very short. You could waste years of it trying to get this person to change - a task that you surely to god know will prove ultimately fruitless. Do you want to look back with bitterness in your old age when you are still stuck with a miserable fucker?

Do you still want to be in the same position one, five, ten years time from now, GP ?

If you don't force the issue, nothing is going to change.

How are you doing golfpro, what did you decide?

Finding it hard to leave. He's jekkle and Hyde. Half the man I loved and married and great with our child, next minute moody and petty over the littlest thing.

jib I am concerned to read this, posted by you:

very rarely does ds witness dhs moods (I'd say once every few months at most)

Just to put it into perspective, my dcs have never witnessed their father behave like you describe. Not in 16 years. It's not normal, it's not right and it will be damaging to your ds.

Please think again.

Will pm you. x