My partner and I have been together for just over a year and a half. I love him, we have fun together, we get on most of the time, and we recently decided to try for a baby.
This morning we had a big argument about housework and I told him to move out. I said I still wanted a relationship but one where we don't live together. He said that was impossible, he doesn't want that sort of relationship, if we didn't live together then we weren't in a relationship as far as he was concerned. I know he didn't mean it, I think he's just presuming he'll come home from work and we'll make up and things will get back to normal.
I'm getting so sick and tired of these arguments. It's so cliched and boring. He has a job he hates, manual labour, he's paid a pittance and he's always totally knackered when he gets home. I'm in the middle of doing a PhD. I work from home but I spend far too much time doing housework. Every day I do the food shopping, cooking, tidying, take the rubbish out, etc. I feel like he just sees me being at home and doesn't respect the fact that I'm supposed to be doing work. I'll cook the dinner and then the dishes will sit there all evening and I'll remind him before I go to bed that he needs to clean up and he'll get annoyed that I'm pestering him. Then I'll get up in the morning and the kitchen is still a state. He'll get pissed off that I'm pissed off when he gets up. His response is always "I can't deal with this shit now". I have to keep needling him because I can't let it go, I find it disrespectful. He then doesn't have time to clean up because he's late for work, says he'll do it when he gets home but of course I end up having to do it because I have to prepare lunch etc. This happens a lot.
Also I pay all the rent every month. He's always skint. He pays some bills but never on time, I always have to pester him, and sometimes I have to bail him out on those. He leaves empty beer cans and snotty tissues all over the place. His side of the bed is always a mess even after I put a waste paper bin half a meter away. I now refuse to wash his clothes and last week he cooked dinner every day because I refused. This keeps happening - things get a little better for a bit, but then slowly I realise we're back to square one again. It's an endless cycle of pettiness.
Although this all makes him sound like an ogre we honestly do get on in other respects. Years ago I was in an abusive relationship and then I was single for 7 years, during which time I couldn't let anybody get close to me. My current partner helped me a lot with trust and opening up and sharing my feelings etc. When we get on, we get on really well. We laugh a lot.
As for trying for a baby, I'm now having second thoughts even though this is something I desperately want. I've felt broody all my adult life but I've always put it off because the time didn't feel right. I'm in my 30s now and I'm scared that I'll never have kids because I keep talking myself out of it. Also after an ectopic pregnancy a few years ago I only have one tube so the thought of being infertile is weighing very heavily on my mind. Am I being pathetic? Am I settling for second best? I think maybe I am but I'm just too frightened to start all over again.
Sorry for lengthy post.