DP has ended our relationship. I don't know what to do.

[devastatednewlyseperated]

We live in a house that we rent from his family.
We have a son.

They want me out asap.
We are arranging 50/50 shared contact.

ex DP is being nasty, I just want out asap.

He is saying that he will be primary carer as he can give our child the best lifestyle.

I am worried he is going to not stick to the 50/50 agreement and try to stop me having any contact.

I have done 1 wrong thing as a mother but he has done many but lies about them. He says there is no way I will get custody and I am a bad mother.

He is pretending to be father of the year at the moment and i am so scared I will lose my child. How do I protect myself?

He comes from a wealthy family with many high connections and they have alledgedly done devious nasty things in the past to get custody of relatives kids.

We were supposed to get married but its been cancelled.

Don't leave the house until you've got legal advice.

Absolutely don't leave without your child.

Can you elaborate on the one wrong thing you think you've done and what he's done?

Can you ring womansaid and ask for their advice and help?

Do not leave without your child. Get yourself to the housing office on Monday morning and say you and dc have been made homeless and need emergency housing.

Unless the one thing you have done wrong was domestic violence or serious neglect he does not have a leg to stand on with refusing access.

Please don't panic and I'm sorry you've had such a nasty shock.

Are you in the UK? Do you have family you could stay with? Friends? My immediate thought is that you need to get yourself and your DS away from this nasty family and to a place of safety where you can act and think clearly. Next step is to talk to a solicitor or CAB. I don't know what this 'wrong thing' you did was but it takes something pretty drastic for a Britsih court to award custody against a natural mother.

But get yourself and your DS away first. You're not their hostage.

Are you in the UK? It is very unlikely that he will get custody of your child. Has he been the primary carer up until now?

You need to consult a lawyer - I would start with a trip to the Citizens' Advice Bureau.

Where are your family? Can you go and stay with them temporarily whilst you sort yourself out? If you have reason to fear you will be denied access to your child you need to protect yourself first and foremost.

It sort of depends on the thing you have done wrong ... ?

It's a rented house which belongs to his parents.

both our names are on the contract but they are taking my name off.

We are doing shared care so I don't understand why I shouldn't leave the house without her.

I once left him alone in the house whilst he was asleep to nip to the shop on the corner. DP does this all the time but denies it completely even though i have seen it. My sil called around just as i got back and saw.

I have money for a new place.

I love my son, he loves his son. I don't want to stop him having equal rights and contact but i feel ike i need to protect myself. He is so cold and I love him.

If you're renting legally (i.e. with a contract) they can't just summarily take your name off.

You aren't going to be denied custody because of what you've done - although clearly it must never happen again.

His family seem to be closing ranks against you. Where are your family?

My mums says I should run away to her and live with her. She is in the south. I live further north. i don't want to stop him having access. he shouts at me and calls me names. The police were called. he was out when they arrived, i said it was an argument and not violence but he has pushed me and i fell and hurt myself. I did not tell them this.

his family never liked me, they don't think i'm good enough.

It's not your son's rights you're fighting for, it's respect for yourself and your rights as an individual and a mother. Yes, it was probably a bit careless to pop to the shop but there's a) no proof it happened (beyond his family who are obviously biased) and b) no way a court would award custody to a father on the basis of one mistake by the mother.

So get a good solicitor and don't be bullied, blackmailed or conned by this family into giving anything away. Sounds like your ex has someone new in mind that they prefer to you... So stand up for yourself and take the bastard for every penny his wealthy parents have given him.

Go to your mums and don't give it a second thought. If he was so worried about seeing his son he wouldn't have assaulted his son's mother!!! Set against one careless trip to the corner shop, Domestic Abuse is regarded very, very seriously by courts. His family is wealthy... he can afford to travel

I don't want his money, i want to have 50 / 50 shared custody.
that is ll i care about.

Get 100% out of there and take your DS with you. 50/50 custody, 50/50 assets, and a decent amount of maintenance for your DS.... that can all be fixed after you get away from this violent bully.

can I get a lawyer to write a legal contract agreement that outlines the shared contact so that if he stops letting me have my son i can get the police to let me have my son.

i don't want this to get nasty.

" i don't want to stop him having access. he shouts at me and calls me names."

I don't know how old your DS is but he's currently growing up thinking that this is how men should treat women.... as disposable items to be abused, bullied, pushed around and then dismissed if they become inconvenient. Why on earth you'd want to stick around in a place where you're not wanted, just so your lovely DS has to spend time with a man that is showing him how to hate women... I'm not sure.

I am sorry it has come to this.

You cant stop it from getting nasty, it already IS nasty, they have seen to that. A good lawyer can help you get through that nastyness and get something sorted. Can your family lend you money? Can you get to Citizen Advice bureau on Monday? Dont leave the house!

he used to love me. i still love him. he says i'm impossible to live with. i don't have many friends - no one likes me. I talk to people but they always forget to invite me to nights out.

You may not want this to get nasty but I've news for you... this is already nasty. Dismissed from your own home? Threatened with the removal of your child? It's shocking and appalling behaviour.

Get advice from your lawyer, tell them about the assault and have it put on police record. The DV unit will talk to you, even if you don't press charges. Any contact that is subsequnely agreed in the courts is legally binding. You will be the resident parent. He will be the non-resident parent. You can live wherever you want to and if that's your mum's place, that's fine. If he breaks the agreement it is a very serious matter.

The reason you don't have many friends is probably because he and his family have scared them all off. Please go stay with your Mum.

Stay with her & obviously take your DS with you. How old is your DS?