Do you have days where you see a long evening of silent resentfulness stretching out ahead of you because you just cannot be a*sed to apologise?

[FrannyandZooey]

There is no way either of us are going to say anything better than civil to each other for the rest of the day unless I apologise, and I really cannot bring myself to do it when he has been such a grumpy tossbag for half the bloody weekend.

Oh joy and it is a bank holiday weekend so we get an extra free day of niggling and arsiness! Hooray!

\rant over

have a glass of wine

or a bottle

teetotal

:(

a giant bar of green and blacks and a bottle of ame???

could I just hit him with the Ame?

oh god here too

You see I know if I just apologise (for what exactly I don't know) he would say sorry to and we would have a cuddle and be nice to each other. But I can't be arsed. He has been a grumpy tit and I have been perfectly (well, mostly pleasant).

Bother.

god i know you feel I am shattered, ds has been lying in bed with his gf all day..I wanted him to look after dgs as I had work to do..

dp got dgs so over excited that at 5.00pm i threw him in the push chair and walked round town for an hour

came back in a very grumpy irritiasble mood as i had put a chicken in to roast immediately before chucking dgs in pushchair

came back in and ds says I'll take dgs now..barked at ds that he wasn't going to spend a week in bed with his gf so she could sod off to london

peeled potatoes to try and add to roast

not feeliong civil towards dp as he has been watching the cricket and place in the sun all afternoon apart from the driving dgs to hysterics phase which precipitated me having to take him out..

hope your weekend improves franny

option 1 - have that drink and carry on mumsnetting
option 2 - take a long soak in the tub, make yourself irrisistable and then flat around the house being annoyingly wonderful and wait for him to fall to his knees in awe and guilt
option 3 - annoy him more by being the grown up and apologising first in a way that he knows he is the one who should be doing it and feels obliged to be extra nice and sorry to you

My DH falls for option3 every time. I love getting in there first and making peace early on as it puts me in charge and messes up his little paddy as he is forced into doing the "no, it isn’t you, it is all my fault.." speech - which he hates. It is the only way to get my DH to admit he is in the wrong. After being together nearly 15 years it still works for us :)

I am probably being unreasonable of course because this week he has driven us twice to Ikea, and done loads of flat pack. But I mean bloody hell doesn't he make sure we all know it. I work ruddy hard every week too

sort of

I suppose i must be lucky because i am a very stubburn person but Dp is not, i will NEVER apologise I am just to proud BUT dp ALWAYS apologises & then the rowing is over, when we have a row it lasts about 1 hr max then dp backs down & says all the right things of course

Goodluck i could not think of anything more worse.

"I am sorry you are being so unreasonable"

Yes what exactly is that way BB? Can you word it for me please? (it's very important he fully understands that he should in fact be apologising, I wouldn't want him to miss that bit in particular :))

LOL just thought of something: do you all also be extra nice to your children while it is happening, just to show what a kind and reasonable person you are, and also to point up the contrast between the barely civil way you are treating each other?

:o

twiglett
I go down the slightly sarcastic but innocent don’t give anything away expression when I offer my sympathy over his "hard day" and how I understand that everyone has "those days" now and again and that I totally understand his bad mood blah blah - just love it as it annoys him so much more succesfully than a "fgs pull yourself together man!" type comment and also ends the atmosphere quickly

he he he

no but then mine are too big to be nice too

I am preserving my bad temper for when ds reappears so that i can tediously reiterate my angry diatribe from when I last saw him

and threaten to email his dad and say he is a lazy slob too

FandZ the title of this thread has described my night perfectly.

Actually it's slightly differnet because he IS wrong but hell will freeze over before he apologises.

FandZ - I make him a cup of tea and drop my voice low (slightly patronising and conciliatory) and tell him how much O hate to see him upset and miserable as it makes me feel so low myself (try not to gag at that point), once offered my unfelt empathy and left hefty hints about his bloody minded rudeness/grumpiness I tell him that I am so sorry if I have in any way made him feel worse blah blah until he can’t stand it any longer and has to confess it is all him.
Honest, it works every time

A-hem LTH my dp is totally wrong too as I think everyone can plainly see

I just made a half-hearted attempt and I now know what the root of the problem is.

Me: "I am sorry we have been grumpy with each other today."
Him: "Yes but I've made a bed."
Me: "Yes, and I am sorry we've been grumpy with each other."
Him: "Yes, but I've made a bed."
Me: "Well, I made him."
Him: "Yes, but that was a long time ago, and I've made a bed, today."

So I think the problem is that I have not devoted my day to worship of him, based on his bed-making prowess.

He has not even finished making the ruddy thing btw, it is all in bits on the floor

Does he hate making up flat-pack furniture?

Oh, I hate resentment from people over difficult jobs.

But then, I have no sympathy, as I quite like making up flat-pack furniture. I always build all ours. It's like a puzzle, only bigger.

sory f

the "i madehim" is an ooooooooold one

Hmmm, would he become more tolerable if you said "thank you for making up the bed"? You could be a bit sarcastic with it, if it made it easier ...

oh god i have sent dh out as i am so sick of him!!!
thank goodness - the boys are both asleep and it is peaceful
i have beer
MN
and cold lemon rice pudding
;

franny - dh 'did the garden' and maybe i havent worshipped him enough...