Do you have days where you see a long evening of silent resentfulness stretching out ahead of you because you just cannot be a*sed to apologise?

[FrannyandZooey]

There is no way either of us are going to say anything better than civil to each other for the rest of the day unless I apologise, and I really cannot bring myself to do it when he has been such a grumpy tossbag for half the bloody weekend.

Oh joy and it is a bank holiday weekend so we get an extra free day of niggling and arsiness! Hooray!

\rant over

This thread is an enormous relief and has reminded me (a) why I love Mumsnet (b) that I am not in a uniquely disfunctional relationship.

I do that 'perfect, sympathetic, loving mummy' act too.

I love this thread :)

I find a good night's sleep works wonders - wake up to a new morning, forget the old row, that sort of thing.

Yes cod was an attempt to cheer myself up, which worked :)

NQC I would feel more inclined to say thank you for making the bed if he had, in fact, made the bed.

The problem is, he sees anything like this as a favour to me, when in fact it is just stuff that needs doing around the house. I think if I treated doing the shopping as a huge great favour to him each week it would grate a bit, no?

But Tigermoth, one also has to negotiate the getting into bed situation. Coldly yet patronisingly. A difficult one to pull off, I find.

get into bed first and fall deeeeeply asleeep...

...while clutching a just fractional larger proportion of the duvet, enough to be annoying yet not enough to be clearly deliberate...

We never stop speaking for long.Proberbly because I'm so bl**dy mouthy I can't stand not having anyone to talk to

I also NEVER ask DH to do DIY he hates it.
He is just one of these people,who just can not see how things go together.I'm far more able to do it,proberbly because I'm FEMALE and a far more superior being

does anybody else arrange the pillows so that yours encroaches on to his side so that you start off with an advantage

And I secretly hope he'll start snoring as I can then have a justification for snarling.

have oyu ever seent he website

FandZ, dh treats all the jobs he does as a big favour to me...
annoys me BIG time!

Think there is something about dealing with children all day which makes it sooooooo annoying when the person you look forward to spending some adult time with acts like the biggest kid.

I would do the long bath, magazine, me time thing and let him stew. Am regularly in this situation and find that it really helps me chill. Also develop deafness so if the kids are yelling he has to deal with it.

I find I look forward to the weekend all week and then it the most stressful time of all - having to try and keep everyone happy and twice the cooking etc!

Oh god, I couldn't survive going to bed with someone who was in a sulk.

F&Z, I see your point re: what is a favour. DH does tend to thank me for some routine housework (e.g. making tea), at least more often than not. So saying "thank you" for necessary household tasks is pretty normal around here.

zippi yes otherwise no chance of having any bed

you could say, thank you for making the bed into a pile on the floor, it wil be so comfortable to sleep on then come and Mumsnet all night

Yep def. but me & boyf are very very similar in lots of ways so i think it's about equal who gives in first & apologises. i love the kiss & make up thing.

lol about being extra nice to the kids. i try and stop myself but when we're both in a strop i do enjoy being all jolly & fun for dd while sulking for boyf

oh and he's useless at DIY so we both struggle together, can be either quite a laugh or v v stressful. was funny when we were both trying to open a bottle of champagne one night, we were both scared of the pop & had never done it before but was v funny both of us hanging onto it together waiting for the pop. lol.

Bourneville, the secret is to twist the bottle, not the cork.

What gets me with dh is that I'm GOOD at apologising if I've messed up. But he just sulks like a three year old. Was all cross and horrid and snarly this afternoon because HE lost ds's shoes (still haven't found them, ds may have to live in wellies until Thursday when his new shoes we've ordered will be in).

But had a bright idea and fed him some chocolate and he perked up again. Yet more evidence that in our house I'm the bloke and dh is the girl.

go give him a kisss

or just say, aren't we a bunch of kids, oi give us a snog

Ok I am glad I am not the only childish, stubborn, proud, vengeful person masquerading as a functional adult :o

Cod, which website?

just read thread..ignore and let him make bed

I have kissed his little bald head Beety, and talked him through his flatpack trauma. Apparently it was Very Hard and the instructions were Very Difficult and I came in at a Very Crucial Bit and recklessly asked him to bath ds

lordy lordy you silly woman!

No no, flat pack work must be done without interruptions.

The instructions are always rubbish, it's all very confusing.

Hey, does your DH know how to fix bikes? I am struggling with excessive pad toeing.

Never mind, I got it, it was totally easy to fix, stupid me.