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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help! advice needed re man (surprisingly.....)

36 replies

wildwest · 03/06/2013 23:02

Lovely ladies I posted last week about a guy I met. He wanted me to take his number and for me to write down mine but didn't call. I realised he'd given me the wrong number and after chatting with friends I sent him a fb request. He was in touch straight away asking what took me so long. Anyway , chatted lots and he asked me on a date for tonight. Last Fri was in town and the meet up and I ended up staying the night (don't flame for that). He is the one contacting me all the time. I asked why he didn't want to use my number to text and this was his reply. ... ' Good morning again! Dont take this the wrong way but im not sure yet if i want to give u my number. I had a bit of a hard time a couple of months ago with someone who had my number, wasn't nice. Pls dont take it the wrong way just a little time. What u up to? X' so ok. Bit weird. Thought play it casual (I'm a nice gal). Messaging several times a day. Went round to his last night which was lovely, wine, chat, movie (and ermmmm...!?!). Oh! Sunday am be said his ex waved him to have their little boy tonight instead of tomos so could we swap our date to tues which I was fine with. Today he's first to get in touch. Then again early eve. Then we've chatted on fb from 8 till 10. Very fun, flirty. I ended convo and said 'so still on from tomos?' He replied to everything I said but that. I think he's going to cancel do u? I don't want to be messed about much as I like him (and the horrible thing is I really do!!). If he does I want to handle it well and say let's just forget it (in lieu of the not wanting to be messed around and leave him thinking 'ooops!'. Please any ganyone think I'm being an idiot (could be bit generally my instincts are spot on)? And if not what can I say when he bales?

OP posts:
wildwest · 03/06/2013 23:03

Sorry for spellings!!

OP posts:
BOF · 03/06/2013 23:05

Yes, I think he'll bail. Can you be arsed?

wildwest · 03/06/2013 23:07

No. Totally cannot. Feed up of idiot men! I'm really meeting jerks.

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wildwest · 03/06/2013 23:07

Omg spelling getting worse!!

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Sh1ney · 03/06/2013 23:13

So he will stick his penis in you but is a little unsure about divulging his telephone number?

You know the answer to this one.

Sounds like a right twat to me. And yes, he will bail.

Sh1ney · 03/06/2013 23:14

And what to say when he bails?

Well, nothing. Get in there first. He's not too bothered about you is he?

wildwest · 03/06/2013 23:17

Should I do it now? I mean should I say been thinking and let's forget it or just wait until the actual bail and then tell him to get lost in a fabulous way. Sigh. Stupid men. I'm no better at this than when I was a teenager!

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pictish · 03/06/2013 23:22

I'd have to ditch first.
If he queried it I'd say "You can fuck me but I'm not good enough to get your phone number. It's not on. I expect a whole lot better, and you clearly aren't it."

wildwest · 03/06/2013 23:24

What shall I say with the ditch though seeing as though my last comment was 'are we still on for tomorrow night?' !?!?

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pictish · 03/06/2013 23:29

Wait for him to contact you, and then tell him.
I've had a good think, and I have decided don't want to see you again. I don't like the way you operate, and it's not making me feel good...so it's not for me!"

Scarletohello · 04/06/2013 00:20

Can you find out more detail about why he doesn't want to give you his number? Sounds very suspicious, could he have a girlfriend ?

wildwest · 04/06/2013 00:33

No. .. I don't think so. I've been to his three times, he's been full on with texting (I'm sure a girlfriend would be upset with that amount of time) and his Facebook all seems legit. Bizarre.

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Monty27 · 04/06/2013 00:37

Dump him already. Sorry for naff terminology but don't go there. Red flags everywhere.

Find someone caring.

cerealqueen · 04/06/2013 00:42

Did FB say when the message was seen? My messages will show a time if the other person hasn't responded.
I hope he went offline not having read it and will be in touch!

jessjessjess · 04/06/2013 00:45

How is he texting if you haven't swapped numbers?

wildwest · 04/06/2013 00:47

No he deffo read all messages (as says seen) plus he responded to something else I said but not about tomorrow's date. Just so confusing as apart from the friend request it's not been me pushing things forward.

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wildwest · 04/06/2013 00:48

No texting. All through messenger on Facebook.

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wildwest · 04/06/2013 00:48

Sorry was my mistake to say texting before - meant messaging.

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JulietteMontague · 04/06/2013 00:49

So first he gives you a false number

Then you track him down on fb.
He then acts like it was a mistake with the number and he has no idea why you hadn't called.

You have sex with him.

You ask for his number and he confirms he's lied previously by saying he doesn't want to give out his number (so he would have deliberately given you a false number the first night then).

Can you be bothered with all this? He sounds like a player.

Monty27 · 04/06/2013 00:51

If he's interested, genuinely, he'll make more of an effort. Don't pursue him. bad experience

LessMissAbs · 04/06/2013 00:51

Hes probably got one woman on the go (at least) on the phone and you on Facebook, to save confusion/overlap.

How ridiculous - seriously, why would you want to waste time with an idiot who won't even give you his phone number? What possible good reason could there be for that (his "reason" is nonsense, as he slept with a woman (you) he barely knew and you know where he lives).

FGS, wise up OP.

Monty27 · 04/06/2013 00:53

pursue? Blush persue.

Yes Juliette, he does sound like a player from hell. bitter experience

If I'd known then what I know now............

Right, on that note off to bed, because I dumped mine 18 months after I should have grrrrrr Grin

wildwest · 04/06/2013 00:56

My gut also tells me all this ladies. I guess I just wanted it to be different. Silly me.

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wildwest · 04/06/2013 00:57

My gut also tells me all this ladies. I guess I just wanted it to be different. Silly me.

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Monty27 · 04/06/2013 01:00

Dishonesty, vagueness and unavailability speak volumes. Particularly in the first stages.

Dump him :) Think no more of it.

not bitter

Night night. Be proud of yourself. :)

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