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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help! advice needed re man (surprisingly.....)

36 replies

wildwest · 03/06/2013 23:02

Lovely ladies I posted last week about a guy I met. He wanted me to take his number and for me to write down mine but didn't call. I realised he'd given me the wrong number and after chatting with friends I sent him a fb request. He was in touch straight away asking what took me so long. Anyway , chatted lots and he asked me on a date for tonight. Last Fri was in town and the meet up and I ended up staying the night (don't flame for that). He is the one contacting me all the time. I asked why he didn't want to use my number to text and this was his reply. ... ' Good morning again! Dont take this the wrong way but im not sure yet if i want to give u my number. I had a bit of a hard time a couple of months ago with someone who had my number, wasn't nice. Pls dont take it the wrong way just a little time. What u up to? X' so ok. Bit weird. Thought play it casual (I'm a nice gal). Messaging several times a day. Went round to his last night which was lovely, wine, chat, movie (and ermmmm...!?!). Oh! Sunday am be said his ex waved him to have their little boy tonight instead of tomos so could we swap our date to tues which I was fine with. Today he's first to get in touch. Then again early eve. Then we've chatted on fb from 8 till 10. Very fun, flirty. I ended convo and said 'so still on from tomos?' He replied to everything I said but that. I think he's going to cancel do u? I don't want to be messed about much as I like him (and the horrible thing is I really do!!). If he does I want to handle it well and say let's just forget it (in lieu of the not wanting to be messed around and leave him thinking 'ooops!'. Please any ganyone think I'm being an idiot (could be bit generally my instincts are spot on)? And if not what can I say when he bales?

OP posts:
Lweji · 04/06/2013 01:48

Yes, definitely don't pursue him, as Monty said.

wildwest · 04/06/2013 15:53

Ok. I received this 20 mins ago. Thoughts?? :

Have to delay our date. In telford till thurs or friday. Will message you later. Sorry x

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 04/06/2013 16:03

Dump him now!!!
Seriously - he has another woman!
Find a nice uncomplicated man - may take some time though! Wink

AttilaTheMeerkat · 04/06/2013 16:08

If you are only meeting jerks (and this one is certainly a jerkoff who is playing you like a fiddle) you need to totally reassess your whole approach to men and relationships with them. What is the longest period of time you have ever been single btw?. You do not need a man to validate you!!.

Love your own self for a change; such men can do great harm to a woman's self esteem and worth.

I would also suggest you read "Women who love too much" by Robin Norwood.

What too did you learn about relationships when growing up?.

SauvignonBlanche · 04/06/2013 16:09

Run for the hills!

Veryunsure · 04/06/2013 16:16

I'd not reply but unfriend him on fb, that'll say it all.

StrawColoured · 04/06/2013 16:21

He's had a better offer of course. Ditch him.

Sh1ney · 04/06/2013 17:04

You mean you don't know what to do? We all told you last night what would happen.

Just delete from FB and move on

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 04/06/2013 17:18

I wouldn't even bother messaging him back. Block from Facebook and ignore. If he texts you, ignore it too

wildwest · 04/06/2013 17:21

Just thought rather than rush in I should maybe should give benefit of doubt!?! He's just sent me another message. (I've not replied at all yet). I was married for 13 years to my first boyfriend and had two men friends (I won't say relationships because they were just two guys I was 'seeing') since then. So not a lot of experience. I'm very happy with myself and on my own. I just liked being with this one.

OP posts:
justmuddlingalong · 04/06/2013 17:31

"I just liked being with this one." So you like being strung along, lied to (his phone number) and messed about. It sound like he messages/sleeps with you when he's bored and has nothing better to do. It doesn't bode well for a future relationship. Sound like he's looking for a f**k buddy and nothing more. If you're happy with that, stroll on.

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