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Relationships

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Original poster

How long before moving in together

38 replies

Katiebristol4 · 27/05/2013 12:01

Hello Guys,those of you in happy long term relationships,how long was it before moving in together,engagement or marriage.

I am interested in couples over the age of 30. particularly those who feel they rushed in or waited to long.

A girlfriend had suggested if a man does not propose in a year then he is not keen! I disagree..

OP posts:

HollyBerryBush · 27/05/2013 12:34

I would agree with your friend. If there haven't been tentative discussions on the future by then, there are unlikely to be.

FWIW I've never cohabited with anyone other than my DH. It would have been pointless. None of them were what I deemed suitable husband/father/life partner material. They were Mr Right-Now rather than Mr Right IYSWIM.

We certainly knew very quickly it was serious, so we rented a house for 6 months to see if we could manage to live together - I put the proviso in that I would nt be hanging round endlessly waiting for a proposal. He proposed about 6 weeks into the rental contract.

oldnewmummy · 27/05/2013 12:45

We rented a place together after 3 months, bought a house after 9, engaged after 14 months, married after 2.5 years. Married 23 years this August.

(Not as old as that makes me sound - we met when I was 22.)

A1980 · 27/05/2013 13:38

Newmummy she wanted stories from 30 year olds. things were different in the 80's when you must have been married.

I've several friends in their 30's who have been with men over two years, in some cases over five years. some of them own property together but they are wondering if they will ever get a proposal. One of my friends has in fact been with her bf for 12 years, living together for 7 years marriage not on the horizon or discussed ditto children. they're over 30.

A1980 · 27/05/2013 13:39

PS they had been with their partners a long time, at least 2-4 years before moving in.

CathSkidson · 27/05/2013 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Feelslikea1sttimer · 27/05/2013 14:43

I am 34 and have been with my DP for 5 years, we have lived together for 2 years, we both have children so didn't want to rush into things...

We are now expecting a baby together, the long wait 'felt right' and we are very happy together (don't think we'll get married though)

Original poster

Katiebristol4 · 27/05/2013 19:33

Is that because you both don't want to get married?

OP posts:

FaithLehane · 27/05/2013 19:43

Officially moved in together after 3 months, as in that was when I finally moved my stuff into his flat. But I pretty much never left after day one. Got engaged after 3 months. Married after 4 years. Been together 18 years and married for 14. (I was only 16 when we got together though, as old as being with someone for 18 years makes me sound ).

BreasticlesNTesticles · 27/05/2013 19:46

Met when I was 27, proposal after 18months, moved in after 18 months, married within 2 and a half years.

Weegiemum · 27/05/2013 19:47

We started going out at 18/19.

Got engaged at both 23, married at 24, moved in after our honeymoon.

We knew we wanted to be together but we were very young.

Now have 3 dc (born 5, 7, 8.6 years after we gt married) and have been married 18.5 years.

Calabria · 27/05/2013 19:54

8 months. I was 40 when we got together and he was 29. Married 4 months after that. (He'd turned 30 by then but I was still shy of 41).

He was extremely keen. Much more than I was to start with.

Seems to work. We are pretty solid eleven years later.

Sh1ney · 27/05/2013 20:10

How's the article going OP?

Feelslikea1sttimer · 27/05/2013 20:57

Yes, we are happy as we are, and don't need a piece of paper to tell us that.

Although my dad is still holding out to finally "give me away"

Lifeisforlivingkatie · 27/05/2013 22:40

Oh that's sweet of your dad... Maybe you will do it for him one day

cluecu · 27/05/2013 22:52

I'm 32, dp is 35. We have been together for 10 months and got engaged after 5 months. Moving in together in 2 weeks time.

In all honesty we probably have gone a bit faster than expected due to our age but it hasn't felt too fast, we've gone with our feelings and we're both sensible and experienced enough in life to feel confident it's right. We're seeing our relationship as a big adventure that we were never sure we'd meet someone we'd want to have that adventure with before iyswim

Lifeisforlivingkatie · 27/05/2013 22:54

That's so sweet,best wishes

TheCatIsUpTheDuff · 28/05/2013 22:14

Started seeing DH when I was 30, he was 38. He moved in after 7 months, proposed after a year and we got married 11 months later. Now expecting DC1. He was the instigator of all of it - I was happy to agree but was also happy with things as they were so didn't feel stressy about when the next step would happen - I guess I just felt secure in the relationship from an early stage, because we'd talked about our hopes and plans for the future and knew that we wanted the same things.

Highlander · 31/05/2013 15:32

18 months. We were both 32.

But DH thought his parents would disapprove, so he got callerID on the phone in order that I knew not to answer the phone when they called.

I also had to move out when his parents came to stay, and remove all traces of female-ness from the house. He also used to pack the booze away in a box in the garage.

I didn't see that he really needed to cut the cord/grow up and stop living a lie.

He proposed at Crimbo at his parents house, where we had to sleep in separate rooms. No, it wasn't remotely romantic....

Everyone went mental when I refused to change my name.

It goes on......

Coffee1Sugar · 31/05/2013 16:14

I'm 25, dp is 32. We bought a house together at 11months, it's about 18months now and I'm itching for a proposal!

KittyVonCatsworth · 31/05/2013 18:41

We did/are doing things arse over elbow! We're engaged, were so after 2 months of being together. We don't 'live' together, but stay at one another's houses 5/6 nights a week (depending on where we are in the world, for work).

The only reason we don't live together as we're building a mahoooosive house and don't want the hassle of moving in the meantime.

I'm 37 and manbeast is 35. We've both been married before (his was an abusive relationship I.e. him being abused, ended up in hospital a few times, my marriage was good).

Neither one of us felt we'd ever get married again until we met and it was the most natural thing in the world. We get married next march - chances are, the house won't be finished so still won't be living together!

Of course, many people felt we'd rushed things, but if it feels right, it feels right. It's right or us and that's all that matters.

PotteringAlong · 31/05/2013 18:43

We moved in together the day we returned from our honeymoon. I was 30; DH was 27

orangeandemons · 31/05/2013 18:47

things were different in the 80's

I refused to live with my bf despite loving him. I wanted my freedom and independence, but hey...things were different then after all weren't they...

tumbletumble · 31/05/2013 19:14

We moved in together and got engaged when we'd been together 5 years. We were under 30 then though.

morethanpotatoprints · 31/05/2013 20:34

We moved in together almost straight away, as we would have been at opposite ends of the country if we hadn't. No mobiles or internet for great communication long distance then
We married after 4 years had ds1 after 3 years. We have been married for 21 years soon.
I think we should have been more settled in life and had a bit more security behind us before committing to dc and children. Life has been a struggle, but not sure that its because we got together when we did.
Very happily married, obviously had ups and downs during the years, but have both always been committed to our relationship

Lifeisforlivingkatie · 01/06/2013 13:09

Nearly two years, spends every weekend and at least 3 nights at mine but not official. Both late thirties. Is there hope? Wonderful relationship o other issues

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