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Original poster

How long before moving in together

38 replies

Katiebristol4 · 27/05/2013 12:01

Hello Guys,those of you in happy long term relationships,how long was it before moving in together,engagement or marriage.

I am interested in couples over the age of 30. particularly those who feel they rushed in or waited to long.

A girlfriend had suggested if a man does not propose in a year then he is not keen! I disagree..

OP posts:
postmanpatscat · 01/06/2013 13:22

We are never getting married (been there, done that) but met Nov 2010, moved in together August 2012. I am now 45 and DP almost 49. The timing was right for us and we have recently overhauled our diet and lifestyle with the intention of living happily together for many many more years :)

travailtotravel · 01/06/2013 14:10

We met in April 2006, one living Birmingham, one Brussels. So it was slightly odd for us as we had intensive weekends together and spoke on the phone every night for over an hour. And Holidays. We talked about moving in/the future in about January 2007, I found a job in Brussels sold my house and moved in July 2007. We got engaged in December 2007, married in May 2008.

If it helps any, it just felt absolutely right from the start. My friends were horrified that i sold my place when I movedw but I knew that I needed to take the plunge and in reality had little to lose really - can always buy another house etc etc.

We celebrated our 5th anniversary yesterday and no marriage is easy but neither of us are in doubt that we did the right thing. We're a team.
Doesn't matter how anyone else did it - its what feels right for you.

elQuintoConyo · 01/06/2013 14:31

Met at 23, moved in together at 28, engaged at 34, married at 35. DS appeared at 36.
I'm ratger on the cusp of OP's 30 group Smile

HollyBerryBush · 01/06/2013 14:46

laughin @ things being different in the 80's.

yeah, yeah, I forgot, each new generation invents sex, co-habiting, marriage and having babies!

scaevola · 01/06/2013 14:55

"Yes, we are happy as we are, and don't need a piece of paper to tell us that."

You might however "need" a piece of paper if you split up. Or indeed if you don't (IHT, some pensions, state bereavement benefits). Or if you ever visit overseas (NOK, non-marital usually OK in UK/Europe, not so worldwide) as no-one ever plans where medical emergency may strike.

something2say · 01/06/2013 15:59

I'm 38, he is 44. Met 18 months ago. Don't live together but stay at each others most nights. No plans to marry yet. A long term thing that lasts will do me for now. Marriage isn't a huge deal for me. We both have our own houses and I plan to hold onto mine for independence. Seen too many women has nothing to fall back on and nowhere to go to sell up.... Meanwhile, my partner is wonderful and we are very happy and getting close and close at the moment it seems. He is lovely to me. The posts whose partner left her to miscarry for example, my guy wouldn't eve do that to me, nor I him.

scottishmummy · 01/06/2013 18:43

few years before cohabitate but lived different cities,different countries
engagement/marriage wasn't on cards talked about it in dont want to do that terms
I think men propose to women they want to marry,if both amenable.i think at least have the big talk about kids,marriage,finances early on to check if on same page

scottishmummy · 01/06/2013 18:50

I don't understand why women who want to be arrived wait to be asked?
why not ask him?at least from answer you'll get a definitive answer on his pov
it's v passive,sitting hoping for that proposal.all v wee wummin

scottishmummy · 01/06/2013 18:51

I don't understand why women who want to be married wait to be asked?
why not ask him?at least from answer you'll get a definitive answer on his pov
it's v passive,sitting hoping for that proposal.all v wee wummin

happylass · 01/06/2013 18:53

Met when we were 33. Moved in together (him in to my house, rented out his place) after 11 months. Got engaged after 18 months. Get married next year when we will both be 36. Feel that's just about the right time for us but things probably would have moved more slowly had we been 10 years younger.

bigTillyMint · 01/06/2013 18:56

I was 31 when I met DH. He was 27. After a couple of months, he was living with me on the weekends and I stayed over at his once or twice a week.
We started living together properly when he got a new job - about 15 months, but probably would have sooner - like 6 months?
We have now been together 17+ years, married 14+

I lived with my ex before - he more or less moved into my shared house with me after a month or two. Not planned. We were together 6 1/2 years, but I knew it would never be forever.

KOTK · 01/06/2013 19:13

We met on a Thursday, realised we needed to live together/marry/have kids/grow old together on the Friday and so we viewed and signed a lease on a house the following Tuesday and then had to wait 10 days before we could move in. That was 4 years ago. I was 33 and he was 38. Wanky as it may sound, he's my soulmate and we both knew with absolute certainty that we had to be together within about 5 minutes of setting eyes on each other.

scottishmummy · 01/06/2013 19:19

I'm an auld softie and get the soulmate thing,but wow that's fast
having said that we met 18yo and last thing on my mind was being saddled in a relationship
maybe in 30s don't want to hang about?

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