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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I have finally left him. I feel strange.

46 replies

bowlingforsoup · 25/05/2013 22:09

Ive had an arsehole of a partner for the past 4 years. This will be long.

Got a DD who is 4 and im pregnant with my second who is due in 3 weeks time.

Hes cheated loads throughout the relationship, smashed my confidence to peices, I've no self esteem left and just feel like a shell.

I've been trying to finish things for a while but I've always found a reason to give him another chance. I've always blamed myself for his cheating and disinterest in our relationship. I've suspected for a while that he's been cheating again and I can't prove it but the gut feeling has been enough for me to 'detach' myself from him the past few weeks. He goes out to the pub every night and some nights doesn't even come home. Not ideal when I'm heavily pregnant.

Went out for a meal tonight (his suggestion even though I knew he had plans to go out tonight) and i drove us there because I passed my driving test last week and the whole way there he criticised everything I done and went on about how awful I was at driving. Personally, I think i done really well on a motorway for the first time and for my first time being in a car without an instructor. According to him, I'm awful for driving with DD and bump when I obviously have no idea what I'm doing. I spent the whole meal listening to him complaining and he was really nasty to DD, had her in tears.

I dropped him off at the pub, came home, packed his stuff and took it to him in the pub, dumped it at his feet and told him not to bother coming home again because I've had enough and I mean it. His friends found this hilarious but i dont care. I've got his keys so he can't come home and i dont think he will. He is a 37 year old child.

I am going to be fine as a single parent. I will give my children the best life possible without him. If he wants to maintain contact then that's fine but we will never be able to compete with a pub and a different woman every night.

I am going to start counselling and have some time being single until I sort myself out. I'm looking forward to the future and thank you to everyone on here that has taken the time to give me advice the past few weeks.

OP posts:
peeriebear · 25/05/2013 22:12

Bloody well done you. let his braying friends have him. Maybe one day he will have an epiphany and realise he's tipped his life away- and you'll be far in the distance. All the best! :)

Cailinsalach · 25/05/2013 22:15

Oh Bowling. I wish you so much luck for your future. I admire your determination and independant spirit.

SeashellHoarder · 25/05/2013 22:17

Congratulations! Here's to the rest of your life without this poor excuse for a partner.

Well done for having the strength!

FiteFuaite · 25/05/2013 22:23

Oh my goodness!!! Good for you! I am so in awe of your strength of character and your determination,I wish you all the very,very best for the future,for you and your kids.

50shadesofbrown · 25/05/2013 22:25

Well done you. I've been reading your posts recently & am really glad you have found the strength to make this step. Well done!

Succoria · 25/05/2013 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Leverette · 25/05/2013 22:27

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DaydreamDolly · 25/05/2013 22:29

You are an amazing woman. Single parenting is so rewarding and you sound like you'll do a fantastic job. Your children don't need to deal with this shit, you're doing the right thing. Well done

bootsycollins · 25/05/2013 22:33

Bravo bowling! Your a fucking superstar!

Also I just want to add that even though I've been driving for over a decade I still haven't had the confidence to nail motorways, your an inspiration Thanks

Hissy · 25/05/2013 22:33

I bloody love you!

lucidlady · 25/05/2013 22:36

Well done!

TVTonight · 25/05/2013 22:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RhondaJean · 25/05/2013 23:01

Hooray to you!

RhondaJean · 25/05/2013 23:03

I nearly killed dh first couple of times I drove after test btw - not cos he was moaning, cos of pulling out too sharp / slowing too late so well done you.

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong · 25/05/2013 23:04

Wow! Well done you! What amazing courage! Your so strong!

moleavenger · 26/05/2013 01:24

Well done, how inspiring. His mates laughing is because it made them uncomfortable and they didn't know what else to do. Typical of emotionally retarded cock lodgers. Congrats.

FiftyShadesofGreyMatter · 26/05/2013 04:46

Well done! At least now you'll only have 2 children and not a third (manchild).

suburbophobe · 26/05/2013 05:02

Brilliant move! Well done you.

Takes real guts to do what you did in the pub - would love to have been a fly on the wall Smile

I'm a single mum - so much better yes than having a manchild as well in the house.

Buzzardbird · 26/05/2013 05:15

You are amazing! Thanks

HerrenaLovesStarTrek · 26/05/2013 06:25

Bloody well done you!

deXavia · 26/05/2013 06:42

Another well done. Now re-read this post whenever he comes trying to worm his way back and remember how bloody incredible you've been for yourself, your DD (almost had her in tears - arse!) and bump Smile

Anjou · 26/05/2013 06:47

Well done Bowling! That must've taken a lot of courage but was absolutely the right thing to do. For you & your DCs. Things might seem tough for a while but, as you've said, your future is now a much brighter place than the road you were on with ExH.

I wish you all the very best. Remember that you've made the right choice, that you've set a wonderful example for your children and that there is support here at MN whenever you need it.

Lizzabadger · 26/05/2013 06:55

He will try to worm his way back into your life. Stay strong and don't take him back.

AllOverIt · 26/05/2013 06:59

Woop! Well done you Grin Grin Grin

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 26/05/2013 07:00

Bowling that is bloody brilliant, well done you for being so brave.

Sounds like you'll be much better off without him x