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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Abusive husband

61 replies

Longtimelurker0111 · 25/05/2013 13:22

I've left my husband after an incident last night.
He was drunk, he hit me, he went and sat at the top of the stairs whilst my daughter was asleep in bed. I thought he was going to hurt her.

He broke my cheek and my nose, I'm covered in bruises. He is still at the police station I think.
I don't know.

I'm scared for him to come back.

OP posts:
Original poster
Longtimelurker0111 · 26/05/2013 16:40

Thank you for your reply.
He gets drunk often, a few times a week - sometimes he will be out of his face, others just a bit tipsy. 7/10 times he is more than tipsy he will hurt me and threaten to hurt my baby. Sometimes he will just punch me (jokingly - according to him) on the arm, barge past me, and when it's worse he will push me, hit my, kick me, pressure me into oral sex, sex.
He is generally quite physical

We've had a lovely day today, out in the garden cuddling my precious daughter - I can't believe I ever put her in harms way 😪

OP posts:
Iamreeling · 26/05/2013 18:22

I saw your other thread, well done for ringing your brother and getting out. You are AMAZING! I hope they throw the book at him for what he has done to you.

MadBusLady · 26/05/2013 19:25

I'm glad you've had a lovely day OP, it's been great weather hasn't it, for once! Also glad you're out of there Shock he's basically a violent criminal isn't he? With any luck he'll get sent down, but even if he doesn't you don't EVER have to have him near you again.

Original poster
Longtimelurker0111 · 26/05/2013 21:05

Violent? Yes. Criminal? Is he?

It has been a lovely day, brightens the atmosphere doesn't it

I know a few of you have mentioned prison. Can he really be sent down?

OP posts:
Chubfuddler · 26/05/2013 21:06

It's a crime to punch someone in the face. Of course it is.

Original poster
Longtimelurker0111 · 26/05/2013 21:08

How long will he go down for?

OP posts:
Chubfuddler · 26/05/2013 21:15

He won't necessarily. It depends on lots if things, what he us charged with, whether he has previous convictions, whether he admits it or tries to deny.

MadBusLady · 26/05/2013 21:15

Likelihood of prison depends on the severity of the offence, any previous convictions etc. But yes, these actions are criminal, so if duly convicted of them that's what he'll be.

Original poster
Longtimelurker0111 · 26/05/2013 21:17

Oh god

OP posts:
MadBusLady · 26/05/2013 21:18

x-posts, police and solicitor can help you with that. But whether or not he goes to prison, a solicitor can help you get an injunction so that he can't come near you.

AlfalfaMum · 26/05/2013 21:20

The level of abuse he's subjected you is horrendous. Please keep you and your baby safe from him. One thing you must take comfort from is that your baby is too young to remember any of this, if you stayed with him much longer it would have affected her terribly to witness and also be a victim of his abuse.

When you say pressurising you into sex and oral sex, do you mean forcing you..? Please give police full details of this because it will add to the charges.

I'm so sorry you've been through this, I wish you a peaceful life from this day on xx

LunaticFringe · 26/05/2013 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Longtimelurker0111 · 26/05/2013 21:24

I don't want him near us, but do I want him in prison? I don't know, I just know I need to keep my daughter safe

Alfalfa - yes he would constantly force me, I did give details to the police so they do know everything.
I'm so glad my baby won't know any of this, but what do I say to her when she is older? This is such a mess

OP posts:
LunaticFringe · 26/05/2013 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Longtimelurker0111 · 26/05/2013 22:00

Thanks Lunatic.
I feel all over the place - my brother is so angry he can hardly talk to anyone, including his wife :(

OP posts:
LunaticFringe · 26/05/2013 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Longtimelurker0111 · 26/05/2013 22:42

Hmm. Like what?

OP posts:
LunaticFringe · 26/05/2013 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jux · 26/05/2013 23:00

Running? Gym? Just a skipping rope in the garden, or jumping on the trampoline. Digging a new flowerbed. Clearing out a box room. Redecorating. The list is endless!

Sleep well. No one should ever have to live like you have. Thank goodness you have put a stop to it.

Original poster
Longtimelurker0111 · 27/05/2013 06:26

He does swim, I'll encourage him to go and maybe to the gym too. He needs to push it out of his kind and focus on something else. He's punishing himself way to much :(

I'm currently sat looking out the window bfing my baby girl feeling the best I've felt in months - something I couldn't have done before. It's amazing how much my life's changed in a few days - and I have you ALL to thank for that :)

OP posts:
TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong · 27/05/2013 07:23

You are doing brilliantly Lurker Smile

Have a lovely day with your baby and your family.

Jux · 27/05/2013 11:28

Lurker, that's lovely. It brought tears to my eyes. What your life has been like is beyond comprehension. So happy for you.

Original poster
Longtimelurker0111 · 27/05/2013 15:15

Hi everyone, things are a lot better today. Everything's a lot calmer :) we've actually had a lovely weekend.

OP posts:
LunaticFringe · 27/05/2013 16:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AllThatGlistens · 27/05/2013 17:35

So glad to hear you're feeling better OP, keep that strength up for you and your little one Flowers

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