Fresh Start, no more losers.

[LoserNoMore]

Just thought I'd start a new thread, general chit chat, moaning, skipping etc before I go to work and incase the other one fills up.

[LoserNoMore]

Anyone about tonight?

[CabbageLeaves]

Yup :)

[CabbageLeaves]

Centreparcs is a rip off.

I have been out of school hols but wouldn't go in school hols or summer. Last visit was ruined by their cynical money grabbing activities

I considered Cornwall camping with another single mum (weather...)

Because I work f/t I find adult friendships hard to maintain. I have become pretty self sufficient and capable of hols focused totally on DC. I have all girls and one of my best memories is of camping on a farm. We had electric and a lap top and used to snuggle together with hot chocolate, choc cries and a film. We walked and explored local canals, museums and just slowed life down eating special treats (McDonalds and cafes with slightly older offerings)

[CabbageLeaves]

Off to bed LNM

Hugs x

[skyeskyeskye]

LNM - I go to Parkdean holiday parks. Usually not too expensive, have booked a four night break in August for £442 which is a lot for me, but I will find it. You get caravan accommodation which is usually very clean and tidy.

They usually have indoor pool, some have outdoor pool, usually have a lovely play park and great entertainment in the evenings for all ages. I love going to them on my own with DD as its just so easy. The first time I went alone I didn't leave the park, just used all of their facilities and had a nice relaxing break.

I cant remember which part of the country you are in, but I go to St Minver in Cornwall, which is quite quiet, but busy enough too.

[TonysHardWorkDay]

You may find some nice cheap deals abroad especially if you go toward the beginning of the holidays as Scottish holidays start earlier. Centre Parcs is silly money!

I think a nice break would do you the world of good. No need to worry about the knobcheese turning up and you can relax in a way you can't at home as you're not always thinking of some chore you should be doing. Just relax and have a wonderful time with your girls.

Even if you can't afford a week away try for a long weekend or 4 days midweek even relatively locally just to get out of the house and away from it for a few days. Just watch for those damn midges if you stay in Scotland!

[CabbageLeaves]

Have you got your girls this weekend LNM?

[lowercase]

Hello LNM,
Great to see y'all on a new thread.
New to me anyway, page 4, late to the party.

Wrt stbx sister, I think she must be one of those people who will side with family just because they are family!
Not saying she should cut him off, but in this situation some love and care to the children's mother is a given I would have thought?
Another one you are better off without.

Similar stuff has happened with me, I just expect nothing anymore, that's what I get so I'm rarely disappointed!
Though my ex's mother ( who lives in another country ) did say I'm a good mother and she wished she could be here for me in all things, and those words were a massive comfort.

Lean on MN, lean on friends, lean on the goodness of the universe.

With love

[lazarusb]

Sorry - don't quite know where last night went!
We went to Centerparcs for 5 days about 8 years ago...we spent more there than we did in a fortnight in the South of France!

There are some nice holiday camps around with the all important indoor pool etc for dcs. We're going to a cottage in Northumberland this August...can't wait. It was £500 for the whole week, self-catering. But I'm an anti-social mare tbh and like a bit of quiet!

[JaxTellerIsAllMine]

woohoo couple more days and then I will be 'home' to Scotland!

Our family is definitely going abroad this year, I dont care where, so long as it is HOT and there is a beach.

We had a brilliant holiday last year in Scotland, up North - whole family, well whole of DHs family. Loads of kids, adults, campfires, and it was good fun. Then we went over the mountains to the opposite side and visited my niece and her family. But I was exhausted when I got back home. So this year, just us 4 for a quiet, relaxing holiday.

I do like to see everyone and I miss them all - then I dont want to come back to English home and am a misery guts for a few days when we get back. Thats why I havent went up for a few months - well that plus the stupid back had me in agony up until MArch, from October last year.

LNM - hope you are off on Monday for bank holiday at least. Hope to see you when Im up!

[LittleEsme]

LNM, I really hope you're going to meet up with Jax (how cool would that be?!) for a cuppa.

Have you thought of camping? We head to France most years with the contents of our entire house our tent and some gear. If you like driving, then it's ideal.

Gutted for you re the sister. Very, very disappointing. Agree with everyone else though, ignore ignore ignore. That said, I am usually the type of person to want to appeal to that person, just for that one last ditch attemt, to talk some sense, to remind that person who 'you' are i.e. that very same person who was a good wife, is a good mother, a good person. Because, so far, over the last couple of months, she's been fed a catalogue of lies, been told God knows what. Either that, or she's minimising what's happened. In that case, she's a Twat and you'll know, with total clarity, to leave well alone.

Ah LNM. Is it worth, pencilling a last letter to that shithouse of an ex to say "Look, what is it that you want from me? Do you want me to say that you've broken my heart?" etc etc And to categorically state that he has killed off any sense of trust and loyalty in your relationship. And that if he has a shred of decency left in his body, then he will respect that he has hurt your relationship, beyond repair. I don't know LNM - maybe I'm clutching at straws here and possibly suggesting something entirely ridiculous which will get me booted up the behind by our more sensible sisters, but it might work. Certainly follow it up with the legal route, but your words may carry more clout.

Anyway, there's a very good chance I'm talking bollocks, and I accept that if any of the ladies want to tell me so. I just want you to be ok. I really, really do.

[LoserNoMore]

Trying to read posts on my phone so apologies for not answering all.

Girls are with ex tonight. I'm fed up just fed up :( fed up of feeling good one day and down the next.

Probably will book a Park type holiday, near a beach. I would quite happily live on a beach, it's my most favourite place in the world.

I'm not off work at all Jax for the bank holiday. Keep me posted on your plans though.

I don't know LittleEsme, it's hard to know what to do for the best. Thanks for your thoughts though, something to think about.

[LoserNoMore]

Nice to see you too lowercase.

[lowercase]

I love this...found on the wall of mother Theresa's home for children in Calcutta.

People are often unreasonable, irrational or self centred. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win someunfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

[lowercase]

You could swap God for love or life or good if you don't like that particular g word.

[CabbageLeaves]

I like that

I wish I could make this all go faster for you LNM. I wish I could lie and say divorcing and being a single mother is fab. It's not.

We have to do something with what we are given in life however. You sadly, were given a loser who thought he was entitled to have another woman on the side. Your choice is to leave that marriage


I chose to leave my faulty marriage and it was the right decision. It doesn't mean I don't look back to the early part of my marriage, to the man he was, the life I had and mourn. I look at others who kept that life, kept that man and are happy ...and wonder what I did to deserve this. If he hadn't changed, I'd still be married. But he did. That is that and this is now. (Loads and loads of adults, men and women in the same situation of accepting their forever marriage...isn't. We are not alone)

Since the divorce I have had some of the best times in my life The good things outweigh the bad. I think that if married, I'd still have exhausting days, miserable moments, crap holidays, moody teens, financial woes, sickness and wonder why I married my husband (no matter if he was perfect) That is family life. Don't put marriage as a situation on a pedestal. :). You will get the peaceful moments, those happy family days when your children reward you with love, pride and mess. You will start to see yourself as a person rather than an appendage of others in your life, you'll grow in character and have achievements you never saw coming (I made a fitted wardrobe....shoe racks, shelves, the lot myself)

This time now: the roller coaster - it will get less bumpy. You will struggle to keep faith that life will ever be good again, because just as you reach a happy moment, you crash to earth again (which makes you almost shy away from happy in case it's the cause of the crashes.). You do need to recognise it is a 'time' of its own. It will end. It will be hard. You need to have a plan for surviving which involves resting when you can, keeping busy when you need to and mentally bracing yourself or mentally calming yourself.

[JaxTellerIsAllMine]

I hope he looks after the kiddies and doesnt start any nonsense!

cabbage I read your post above - but I read "you were given a LOBSTER" and I thought wtf? would she want a lobster for.

Lack of sleep... only excuse. Made me laugh though.

[LittleEsme]

Cabbage, you write beautifully, and so, so well. That post made me stop and think. Not many do that.

[LittleEsme]

Jax I had to re-read it after that.

Only once I've ever tasted lobster - it was delicious

I'm more of a crab-stick girl though. Life on a budget and all that

[JaxTellerIsAllMine]

I used to love crab sticks, but cant stand them now.

I like lobster and all things seafood, but cant stand having to deshell them to get to my food. I like it 'insant' ie on my plate ready to scoff!

LNM you can pm me when you fancy a cuppa etc. We are heading up tomorrow. Although if I get my way we are going today. I just want to be UP THERE now.

[CabbageLeaves]

Lobster would be fine

[KalevalaForMePlease]

I am sorry to interject, I am a long time lurker, I log on thinking, how Is LNM today? But I had to come on to say, Cabbage, that was beautiful. You have said it all, summed it all up so well; life, love, marriage. Well done. (And LNM, while I'm here, you are fantastic, keep going, we're all behind you)

[lazarusb]

The bad days will become fewer over time, unfortunately it can take a long time. I hope your ex has realised that contacting the police was a big step for you and he begins to respect boundaries which need to be there for your own sanity. Take this at your own pace. See a solicitor when and if you want to. If you feel threatened, call the police.

Start to concentrate on what went right with your day, however small. Something the girls did or said, the traffic, the green light instead of red...it's the little things that can make a difference either way. It might sound daft but it those that got me through the tougher times in my life. Sometimes just getting up, showered and dressed was actually quite a big achievement for me.

[LoserNoMore]

Cabbage, you speak sense.. If I wasn't on MN I'd give you a big sloppy smooch!

I'm sitting in the sun sipping a vodka and coke, feeling half happy half sad. I blame Tracy Chapman. I'm gonna be drink soon! Girls are with ex, my friend has apprehended me with a bottle

[LoserNoMore]

And as not to ignore anyone, I love you all xx