Hi there,
I'm writing, not for sympathy, but advice on how to deal with a situation .
Me and my husband have been together 7 years and got married 4 weeks ago now, and we have a little daughter of 6 months, a happy home, and a importable life.
2 weeks ago I go onto our family computer, and find within his e-mails messages from a woman stating "last nig was amazing, I can't wait until next time" as we'll as similar replies from my husband. I was go smacked and confronted him staright away, not in a shouting way, but I was surprised at how calm I talked about it.
He told me he did it because we've not been the same since having a child, and we've been pushing each other away. He told me he paid this woman (an escort he seeked out online) £50 and mt her at a cheap hotel for an hour, and that was it.
I emailed this woman, and spoke with her on the whole with my husband present and demanded to know everything.
She told me he booked a posh hotel with afour poster bed & paid £250 for the night with her & she wanted more..
He had told her he wasn't married, had no kids, lied about his occupation & said he had so much money he didn't now what to do with it ll.
2 weeks prior to this, he'd been on a course with work & our daughter was ill then, & he was short with me on the phone the whole time when I was crying I opulent cope alone, and now know those 2 weeks he was calling her for hours on end, it makes me so so sad.
The upshot is, that I've oven him one last chance ( he's done this sort of thing before when I was pregnant, but didn't carry it through- I found the messages prior to anything happening) but what I'm finding so difficult is trusting him, stopping thinking about it etc.
Or sex life has improved since, and we've been making more efforts etc. he's doing morefornour daughter ( he hadn't seemed fussed previously & I was buying her everything etc.)
He's been treated good at home from the moment we met. I run his baths, set his clothes out, support him in his hobbies, work etc. I cook, clean...he doesn't have to lift a finger. I also have a good sex drive, so it can't be that I'm frigid.
I almost feel jealous of the night he gave her. He said he was trying to relive our wedding night, as we had a room with a 4 poster bed, but I fell asleep on the wedding night because I'd been up so so early etc, so I didn't put out.
Please help me think of a way back to happy. I'm even considering booking a male escort myself, just to get even, and then we can start a fresh from there. E're supposed to be moving house this week for a fresh start, but it feels horrible with this hanging over me, the worry, the doubts, and e sad hurt feeling ebbing away within.
What can I possibly do? Xx