My husband left 4 weeks ago after I found some dubious e-mails to another woman he works with. I have posted about this on another thread, but still need the support from all you lovely ladies out there.
I asked him to go to his mum's after I went mad screaming and shouting and both of us crying. He went to his mum's, then round to my parents explaining himself and accepting all the blame.
I still let him in the house later that night and we both sat talking and crying about how we would get over this, then he collected some things and went back to his mothers.
I phoned him the next morning demanding the ow mob number but he would not give it to me as he said i would jeapardise his job if she went to his boss. We were both still crying and he asked what to get for his breakfast as his mum only has fried food and he likes to keep fit and eat well so he went to shop to buy that and washing powder for his clothes.
He also came up later that afternoon and we both talked some more. He said he had been very flattered by the attentions of this high powered business woman and had got carried away, swore there was nothing physical.
He told me he would give me her mob number once I had calmed down and to be careful what to say to her as it would cost him his job. he said he would give it to me the next morning whilst on the train as he was away for a few days on a business meeting.
Next morning he phoned and gave me her number, I put it in the drawer as after all the trauma I could not face calling her, was in no state to do so. later that evening after another sleepless night, he phoned sounding like his normal self, and I told him I had not contacted her, but he probably knew that as she would have phoned him if I had.
I then asked him when he was coming home and he said he wasn't. he said it was so out of character for him to do that and that the blinkers had been taken off his eyes and that he must have been very unhappy to have done it in the first place.
I got very upset, begged him to come home, but he won't. He is staying at his mum's. I ended up in hospital after trying to end it all. Can't imagine life without him. And now he wants to settle all our financial affairs and divorce. Am distraught. We have two daughters, one is sitting her Higher exams right now and the other is expecting a baby. They have been so wonderful, they are so strong, told me I am better without him. He had been treating me badly weeks before and I knew something was "off", that was why I had looked at his phone.
He has said he can't forgive me for looking at his phone and have now destroyed all trust. And that I would make his life hell as I would now be paranoid and forever questioning what he is doing.
He says he has no energy left, nothing to give, and that my health problems have drained him. I have anxiety and stress. But it is not as if he was a carer, I did most things for him! He doesn't know what he wants, but he knows he does not want "this.
I am devastated, cannot do this anymore. Have been a mess, shaking stuttering, he was over Frid night and said he is never coming back and that we will be divorcing.
How do I do this? How can I live without him? We have been married for 27 years, ever since we were 15 years old.
I always had a feeling I would die early, in my forties, and this is it, this is "my death", I will never get over this. It is getting worse.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Marriage ended after 27 years. This is "My Death".
mrsmciver · 12/05/2013 12:43
And I luffs you too in a thoroughly unmumsnetty way.... 
joy - good for you 
mrsm. I was convinced that my XH was having a mid life crisis, as who on earth just walks out on their wife and child with no warning?! It becomes even more of a MLC when you discover that the woman that they are texting thousands of times a month, is at least 15 years younger and married to his best mate.
All you can wish for is that karma catches up with them and by that time, we will all be happy, one way or another!
at The Hairy Ba Bag Man... you could always offer to chop them off if he hasn't got round to shaving them yet...
Anger is good, it does help to keep a bit of the anger there.
So is a little bit of revenge.. childish I know, but it feels so good. I threw the (used) cat litter over my ex. Felt a bit guilty about the cat though who was too scared to use it again for months.
Yay! Good for you Mrs. M!!
As I said last night, anger is great and bullies like your miserable husband get frightened by it and tend to back down, especially if you use that anger wisely and to achieve what you're entitled to. But also, I've noticed how effective it's been in friends' relationships. Some have had affairs and some have had it done to them. Without exception it was only when the partners who'd been shat on from a great height started to get angry in a cool, calm, detached sort of way that the ones messing around woke up, took their heads out of their arses and started having renewed respect that had been sorely missing for a while.
I'm no expert on Scottish vernacular, but are you saying that he promised to shave his genitals for a woman he claims he wasn't having a sexual affair with? 
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.