My husband left 4 weeks ago after I found some dubious e-mails to another woman he works with. I have posted about this on another thread, but still need the support from all you lovely ladies out there.
I asked him to go to his mum's after I went mad screaming and shouting and both of us crying. He went to his mum's, then round to my parents explaining himself and accepting all the blame.
I still let him in the house later that night and we both sat talking and crying about how we would get over this, then he collected some things and went back to his mothers.
I phoned him the next morning demanding the ow mob number but he would not give it to me as he said i would jeapardise his job if she went to his boss. We were both still crying and he asked what to get for his breakfast as his mum only has fried food and he likes to keep fit and eat well so he went to shop to buy that and washing powder for his clothes.
He also came up later that afternoon and we both talked some more. He said he had been very flattered by the attentions of this high powered business woman and had got carried away, swore there was nothing physical.
He told me he would give me her mob number once I had calmed down and to be careful what to say to her as it would cost him his job. he said he would give it to me the next morning whilst on the train as he was away for a few days on a business meeting.
Next morning he phoned and gave me her number, I put it in the drawer as after all the trauma I could not face calling her, was in no state to do so. later that evening after another sleepless night, he phoned sounding like his normal self, and I told him I had not contacted her, but he probably knew that as she would have phoned him if I had.
I then asked him when he was coming home and he said he wasn't. he said it was so out of character for him to do that and that the blinkers had been taken off his eyes and that he must have been very unhappy to have done it in the first place.
I got very upset, begged him to come home, but he won't. He is staying at his mum's. I ended up in hospital after trying to end it all. Can't imagine life without him. And now he wants to settle all our financial affairs and divorce. Am distraught. We have two daughters, one is sitting her Higher exams right now and the other is expecting a baby. They have been so wonderful, they are so strong, told me I am better without him. He had been treating me badly weeks before and I knew something was "off", that was why I had looked at his phone.
He has said he can't forgive me for looking at his phone and have now destroyed all trust. And that I would make his life hell as I would now be paranoid and forever questioning what he is doing.
He says he has no energy left, nothing to give, and that my health problems have drained him. I have anxiety and stress. But it is not as if he was a carer, I did most things for him! He doesn't know what he wants, but he knows he does not want "this.
I am devastated, cannot do this anymore. Have been a mess, shaking stuttering, he was over Frid night and said he is never coming back and that we will be divorcing.
How do I do this? How can I live without him? We have been married for 27 years, ever since we were 15 years old.
I always had a feeling I would die early, in my forties, and this is it, this is "my death", I will never get over this. It is getting worse.
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Relationships
Marriage ended after 27 years. This is "My Death".
mrsmciver · 12/05/2013 12:43
Oh, I missed that its your birthday!!
[www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFh-rX_Sfhs click here]]
If I'm the lanky one with the glasses, Skye & Lambzig might want to own the others 
Yeeaayyyy! Mrs M.
I certainly didn't guess Disney! what a wonderful treat for your daughter. and am so pleased to hear you had a truly great time ...and shopped til you dropped, too! (buying baby clothes in the US is just irresistible, isn't it!!) Best of all I suspect is the bonding that the two of you have had on this holiday.
I just love it when a story like yours starts to look so bright!
Pleased you are back though! I shall miss this when we make it to 1000 posts.
As to the X. Sod him. What price the sting of not getting a card, against the sheer pleasure of your first holiday as a liberated woman who makes all her own decisions (and I bet you felt really empowered being the decision maker throughout this holiday???!)
The lies? well you just have to accept that whatever happens to them in mid-life to cause these behaviours, also wipes their ability to see facts. I have come to the conclusion that, just as when we stop cycling and lose our periods and ability to conceive, so men stop thinking about anyone other than themselves and lose the ability to know fact from fiction.
Women handle their changes a lot better.
Can I tell you that when my X finally moved the other woman in ....he told his family that he was getting a lodger to help with his bills!! and SHE was actually introduced to them using her second name instead of her first (presumably so no-one would make the connection between 'her' and the person he had been sleeping with for so long).
When it comes to deceit .....some of them are true players. Though I did take a great deal of satisfaction in 'accidentally' de-bunking that little gameplay.
It doesn't matter what your X does now. You have already started to really break the chains....make decisions for yourself, choices for yourself. Live for yourself (and those precious girls).
WAY TO GO MRS M !!!!!!!
Skye .....so nice to hear you sounding really up, and forging ahead. The bliss of turning that corner is the long straight sunny path ahead 
hi MrsM - good to see you back and SO happy to hear that you had a good time. Sod what the ex thinks, you spent the money on your daughter and GD to be. You have created some fantastic memories to share and hopefully something to remember and keep you going if you get a little low... which hopefully you won't... onwards and upwards from now on!
The card thing is hard. i cried when i found a card on the mat on my birthday with XH's writing on it, but it wasn't from him, it was from his mum. I also got one from his sister, but that was it. It is hard to be wiped out of existance after so long with somebody, but that says more about them than it does about you.
If your X starts spouting off about the money, then tell him, its half yours and your DD deserved a holiday after all the crap he put you through. Take half of whatever savings is left and put it in an account in your own name. He cant complain about that as that means that you each paid half for the holiday
bumping again - MrsM - are you back from your trip yet? How's it going?
Mumngran - things going remarkably well for a change. have got quite a long post on my new thread in "the other place". basically, talked to XBIL for 1.5 hours on Monday evening and feel much better for it. XH is now totally indebted to OW, he owes her shedloads of money, she is helping him with sorting out everything. XH is round their house all the time and cant say no to her, has to go round for tea every night or she gets upset 
anyway, everything he accused me of is basically being repeated with OW. She is still with her H, and XBIL says that she is just stringing XH along, as a bit on the side, whereas previously, he wouldn't accept that anything was happening.......
There is loads more, but basically, everything that i was accused of, he is now doing with OW, and my XIL's can now see this and they can see the mess he has made of his life since leaving me.
XBIL reckons that XH is 80% regretting leaving, he knows he has screwed up DD's life......
None of it changes anything, I would never have him back, but it has really helped me to turn a corner again. I am starting to pity him, not myself......
MrsM - sorry for the hijack! But again, more words that can hopefully prove to you, that it doesn't matter what they say, or who to, the truth will out in the end, one way or another.
I hope you have had a fab holiday and please come back and update us soon. :)
She actually bought her very first washing machine after 23 years of hand washing and trips to the launderette!
Just 
!!
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NYC Orlando or Venice, have a blast - make new memories!
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