single man 44 widower seeking advice on best dating sites?

[nick111]

hi, i am a solvent widower and have lost touch completley with the dating scene, and wondered if anyone here would have any advice on the best dating sites online, or perhaps places offline too, that have given success?
i'm sure the scene is flooded with single mature men, so any advice would be welcome. i'm a non-drinker, non-smoker who really isnt into the clubs, but any advice from your perspective would be of great help.
thankyou.

Well there are a few single women on here! ;-) other than that - Guardian Soulmates is quite good (paid site), Plenty of Fish a bit of a mixed bag. Match.com another mixed bag. Over to you ladies!

There certainly are single women on here!

Where in the world are you op?

Cheekily asks where you are in the country!!

Am 43, seperated, 2 kids, non smoker and light drinker

Not this one chump! Nice try!!

Aye, right.

Eh?

A solvent non drinder and non smoker? Why do you need to go to dating sites? What's the catch then?

Post your profile up here.

Can't believe anyone fell for this one

Too tight to pay for a dating site really aren't you, just thought you would get a freebie on MN

Naughty boy

Well he's definitely using initiative

hi nick, from my own experience, I think you should try Encounters (The Times site), as you sound more traditional rather than a Guardian leftie (I may be wrong of course), it's not 'conservative' but sort of neutral with more trad types, and you wouldn't get seedy/inappropriate messages which you would get on 'plenty of fish' or other unpaid sites (though women suffer more from these according to MN).

If you are thick-skinned and can trail through LOTS of profiles to find a gem, you can try an unpaid site, but again not my impression of you.
If you ARE an intellectual and a leftie, then yes, Guardian soulmates (but doesn't sound like it). Or Match is reasonable but the more 'discerning ' you are on there, the fewer replies you get (imo).

Do you mean you don't like night clubs or sports clubs? always some women in Golf clubs /tennis /skiing but you'd have to enjoy these (no personal experience for me, but heard good stories).

The sites are not at all flooded with men in their 40s! 52+ maybe, or men in their 20s-30s. You should have lot of interest, as you can see already from this thread .

Buzzard - if that's the case, why not?! quite a short cut!

Nice try love.

thanks for the replies, yes i think the times sounds more like me, but i'll check out the guardian and match too anyway. i'm suprised there would be that much interest in men in their 40's but as i say, i've lost touch really. oh; i'm in the uk, and i'd better not post a profile here, i'm sure that'll get me in hot water.....lol.........thanks again for the help.

There's an ongoing dating thread that you might like nick

here

I don't know what the OD site gender ratios are like for mid-40s, but certainly for over 50s there are 2 women on there for every man, without taking into account the 'age sought' skew. OD is a funny world - only a proportion of people on there are looking for a relationship and free to get involved in one - but good luck in your quest!

ZOMBIE THREAD

resurrected by a spammer.

Nick, speaking as a bloke...

My last major relationship was from Match which I thought was OK. Now -single again some years later -I'm on Encounters (which is from the Times and Telegraph) I think is good. If you are over 20 and solvent with a brain that works then don't bother with any of the free ones. And avoid Parship like the plague.

Women complain that men lie all the time about everything, so if you don't lie about anything it will be apparent and you will be seen as a star. Anyway, what's the point -if you are 5 ft 4 and have said you are 6 ft 2 it will be kind of obvious, quickly! You can expect women to lie about their weight -curvaceous means fat -and that is fine, most of us are overweight -and also their age -you can probably add 2 or 3 years to a profile. But then again, so what -red wine gets better with age too (unless it's corked...).

Women say there are far more many men than women on these sites, I really don't know it that's true or not. If it is, it shouldn't influence you -some men act as though they are in a sweet shop.

My advice is treat the system as if you were chatting to/meeting women introduced to you by your sister, respectfully and openly! and don't agree to meet too soon -get to know people on line first, then on the phone -people can be remarkably candid in print and you can weed out the loonies -and that is exactly the advice I would give my sister!