Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Dating thread no 53

(1000 Posts)
Flipper924 Mon 06-May-13 21:48:03

The Rules

1 Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. If it is not fun, stop

Off we go...

Flipper924 Mon 06-May-13 21:48:46

First ever thread I've started.

TigsytheTiger Mon 06-May-13 21:49:17

well done Flipper, place marking

Winefiend Mon 06-May-13 21:50:54

New thread! Here's hoping this one is filled with lovely dates, no knobheads (bar my good self obvs), lots of Coffee and less grief from exes for folk angry

wine

TigsytheTiger Mon 06-May-13 21:55:00

ha! just seen an email from my STBXH which he has cc'd me on, it's to the Mediator, sending her back her copy of the meeting notes (which she read out to us at the end of the session to make sure it was an accurate record) with his "corrections" - bet she is going to love that!

Him, controlling? no! never! - you can't make this stuff up!

KinNora Mon 06-May-13 22:04:05

Flipper flirting is a very pleasant thing in and of itself, I've always found. I think it puts a slight spring in your step, and you're definitely entitled to some fun after the last few months.

Tigsy - not quite ice bath territory, no, but it's all enjoying getting back to the normal levels of peace and quiet. grin

KirstyWirsty Mon 06-May-13 22:07:39

I'm marking my spot .. Got a date with therockclimber tomorrow who looks lovely and fit and promises exclusivity even though he doesn't want anything serious .. And neither do I .. Fingers crossed!!

MirandaWest Mon 06-May-13 22:09:04

Hello smile Was hot today smile DC and I went to a farm. Easier with one adult I think tbh smile

Moanranger Mon 06-May-13 22:11:21

Hi, daters, can I join in - an interesting situation developing - only split from STBXH 10 weeks ago. I have had no libido for some time, which I put down to as age.(But note STBXH was shit in bed, entitled, demanding, happy with PIV) Well lo & behold, I now have a raging libido!!
I am not OD, but am going to every Meet Up I can find & now someone is showing signs of being very interested - me totally not looking for this.
My worry is that raging libido will get in way of judgement to my cost,IYSWIM?
Anyone else had this happen?

lubeybooby Mon 06-May-13 22:11:34

well done flipper!

Hello new thread <waves>

My Monday check in and weigh in today...

4 weeks smoke free 1 entire stone off. RARRR! grin wink

Winefiend Mon 06-May-13 22:12:13

Oh Kirsty, everything crossed for you, esp after how disappointing kilty turned out to be.

Winefiend Mon 06-May-13 22:18:33

ranger hello! I'm pretty sure most of us have done at some point. If you've lurked I'm sure you'll have read some similar tales. Pretty sure it was my libido that led to me tolerating far more shit than I normally would in recent times but hey ho, you learn from it! All you can do is suss it out as you go. If you've met a few times then you must have an idea of the kind of person he is? Depends what you're looking for really....at the mo I am practising the art of going on dates and not shagging (by ensuring legs are not shaved and I have my worst pants on as I do not trust my libido with booze in me)

lubey you are a motherfucking MACHINE! Impressive stuff grin

OhWesternWind Mon 06-May-13 22:22:12

Ha fuck the exes! Twats one and all.

Good luck for tomorrow Dolly. What's on the menu?

LM has now disappeared off Match (I know, I know, I shouldn't know this information) so has probably got himself a nice new girlfriend. Why do I care? Had a dream he came back and I took him back even though I knew, even in the dream, that it was a crazy thing to do. Still the best sex I have ever had, sorry Indie. But it did take a while to get that good, it all takes time to get used to people and what works well.

Only good things about today are that my mum is now back on Team OWW bristling up against the outsiders threatening her family - see how long that lasts for - and Indie is yet again being lovely. Been doing the crossword by text, bit of flirting and talking about last night, all good stuff. Going to see him on Wednesday for a drink if I can find a babysitter. He asked me if I'd gone off him after last night, of course I haven't, but I am worried I might be coming across as a little bit "off" with him just because I am so distracted with this other shite. Don't want to tell him about it as it's all about Titto and I will seem like a chaotic Jeremy Kyle type person which I really, really am not. What should I do?

Think I am not doing very well today, will try again tomorrow.

TwoSugarsWithLotsOfMilk Mon 06-May-13 22:28:47

Is this like a place where you can recount really shit dates??

I went on a date with a black bloke before. He dressed totally normally in the office, but picked me up in the stupidest car I've ever seen, in the stupidest, most stereotypical clothes possible - complete with huge hanging dollar-sign chain.

He sounded normal everywhere else, but on this date he sounded like the teen-slang thread that's going round! Wahhhg'wan for "what might be going on?" and "gash" and "ripe" and "demon".

It took every OUNCE of my strength not to laugh in his face. I saw him the week after and he at least had the decency to look embarrassed.

Moanranger Mon 06-May-13 22:31:42

OWW I KWYM re coming across like J Kyle guest. Reason I have trepidation about dating is STBXH & I are in early stages of untangling mainly finances, & I don' want to meet some guy & spend entire time moaning about shit X.
I very fortunately have many good RL friends I can unload on, so If I do start dating, I hope to create a Chinese Wall with all shit XH talk far on other side. Oh, and also the random weeping!
Damn, but it is good to know that I have an actual sex drive - just what to do about ( besides the obvious - am thinking of purchasing a rabbit. No, not the hutch kind, the battery kind!)

Bant Mon 06-May-13 22:35:49

OWW - just be honest with Indie, tell him you had some weird news from the DCs dad, who you hadn't heard from in ages - nothing to do with him (not that it's not his business, just that it's not him that's distracting you, IYSWIM) and it's just bad timing that's all. I'd prefer to know it was some twat of an ex playing up, but it wasn't a common occurrence, than that I may have done something wrong.

Very impressed Lubey - I've got to kick the fags at some point. Maybe next week.. or the week after...

Hello Ranger - sorry can't give any advice on that

Back to Hungaria tomorrow, have a date with as-yet-unnamed tomorrow night. One photo looks good, the others not so much, we'll see. Not sure if she gets my sense of humour.

Another girl, British Expat, very quirky and amusing - only one photo and she may possibly have horses teeth. Doesn't smoke. Doesn't drink ANY alcohol. We're tentatively on for coffee.

Not sure what I think about dating someone who is sober all the time. I'm used to getting a bit pissed in the early stages to lower barriers. Don't know how amusing and charming I can be when they're stone cold sober the whole time... smile

OhWesternWind Mon 06-May-13 22:38:50

Oh dear *TwoSugars" that sounds so embarrassing. Maybe he thought you'd be impressed by his coolness ..,

Moan just go with it, see what happens with the Meetup guy. I was amazed when my libido came back. It's brilliant!

Think I'm actually jealous that Titto has managed to find someone else and get married and here I am farting about with OD. He is a twat of the highest order and I'm not, so how does that all work?

ALittleStranger Mon 06-May-13 22:41:00

This might reflect badly on me but I would need a very good reason to date someone who didn't drink. I think it would be the relationship that was the problem as much as the early dates.

Lubey that's fantastic weight loss!

Ranger if you're actually still randomly weeping it might be a bit soon to be getting out there. But if you are in control then really you just have to accept that it's not dignified or acceptable to rant about exes on dates and build up those chinese walls as you say.

Twosugars that is v weird, especially if he looked shame faced. Do you think it was some kind of bet??

Hello thread <waves in glamorous manner>

So I've just been on date 2 <meh> and date 3, ah lovely date 3 <twinkle>.

<floaty and smiley> <too early to worry about no further contact> <twirl>

Oh and, I bow down to you oh thread, this was the guy who I was unsure about due to no sparky chat, but you advised me to give him a go. Lovely. grin

OWW I would tell him that you are currently having to deal with a situation regarding the kids and it's thrown you off kilter slightly. I'm sorry you're not doing so well today. Tomorrow will be better.
lubey no fags and dieting too?! I take my hat off to you, well done!!
On the menu tomorrow is Chicken saltimbocca with green beans and rosemary roasted potatoes, raspberry cheesecake to follow.... My friend is coming over to help me prepare it all in advance tomorrow morning then my mum is having the kids to hers for tea and bath and delivering them back to me in their pjs so I can tidy myself up. grin

OhWesternWind Mon 06-May-13 22:48:48

Hey stop twirling for a moment and TELL ALL!

Ps OWW men like Titto jump from relationship to relationship as they are shit at all of them. I doubt she's the love of his life. You just have more restraint and are clearly less desperate than him smile

OhWesternWind Mon 06-May-13 22:53:11

Dolly No, I am blooming desperate, I admit it ... Not really.

Hope all goes brilliantly tomorrow. The food sounds lovely and you'll bowl him over by just being generally fab.

mercury7 Mon 06-May-13 22:53:38

(checking in from the sofa)

Winefiend Mon 06-May-13 22:54:54

I absolutely could not date someone who doesn't drink Bant. But then again, my nickname is 'Begbie' (as in Francis). Whiskyyyyyy yes. (I haven't ever glassed anyone yet btw, have been tempted though).

That sounds great Hey! I am persevering with Mr Band. He has been messaging very consistently but is quite quiet but we have lots in common he just needs to ask me on a fucking date asap

This thread is not accepting new messages.