What was/is your life like at 25?

[FennCara]

Mine is not what I expected.

I'm expecting my third child. I'm facing a messy divorce. I have no career, but have a degree. My parents aren't in great health.

I have lovely friends, a nice place to live. I'm definitely lucky in that sense.

But this isn't how i saw it.

At 25 I bought a house with DH (not married yet then), no DCs. I qualified as a solicitor that year too, and was working in a lovely team in a regional firm - was quite settled with work and liked my colleagues.

A year later, got bored and itchy feet (that 'is this it??' feeling) and upped sticks to a fancy pants job in the City, moved to London. Spent a few years there, very stressful but well-paid job. Was largely miserable but looking back it was character-building, and certainly it was financially a good move for us. We moved back to our home town and got married the year I turned 30.

Now at 33 I have 2 DDs, married DH 4 years ago and have quit law to retrain on a graduate scheme with a govt department. Earning less than I have done for a decade, but so much happier.

At 25 I travelled Australia with then DH. Got home and found out he'd run up £100k+ gambling debts, been cheating on me with a 17 year old and forged my signature to take loans against my name.

I sold our flat, bought a wee house, got divorced and met DH2 by the end of the year. It wasn't easy. I was devastated to be getting divorced so young and felt I'd let everyone down.

Now? I'm 31. I'm still in my wee house but planning an upwards move. Still with DH(2). Have a gorgeous pfb and life is generally pretty good.

Stick with it. The crap times make you appreciate the good times. (Cliche alert but true).

Chin up.

I'm 26 now.

Last year I was living with DP in a flat we bought 2 years previous and working full time as a teacher.

Now I'm married with a 6 month old DD and planning to go back to work part-time in September.

It's been quite a year!

I had just got my first 'career' (rather than marking-time) job. Moved to a different city, sharing a flat with a friend. I was part of a friendly group of young people at work, we went out a lot, went from work to the pub and so on.

I had not a thought in my head of marriage, babies or mortgages.

I was flat broke (the job didn't pay well), and having the lovely time I should have had at university, if I hadn't hated it.

25 was great :)

Had a degree.
In a great career.
Married my lovely DH.
Bought our first house.
Bought our first car.
Had an amazing honeymoon.
Brilliant social life full of great people.
Lots of friends got married.
Lots of cocktails and champagne was drunk!

At 25 I was married, just had first DD, owned my own home. Life was good, it is good now but there has been plenty of awful parts in the middle.

At 25, I was recently divorced and single mum to 2 small DC. I was almost paralysed by anxiety and paranoia from the breakdown of my marriage, in spite of a good degree had a job which was a means of subsistence but very far from the career I'd envisaged. I felt like a complete failure :(

Now, however, I am married to a wonderful DH who is my best friend, on my second batch of babies, first batch doing well, and I have the career I always dreamed of - anxiety and paranoia a distant memory.

I know it's hard going, but try to use the free childcare you get when the bairns go to their dad as time to build yourself the life you want -or at least just time to let your hair down. Keep faith, all will be well :)

Doing my phd, sleeping with and trying to be the girlfriend of a man who was essentially a charming bastard - a cad, I think! Happy enough, but little knowing that I was soon to meet DH and that this would be the best thing ever. That was nearly 12 years ago now.

At 25 I was very happy and optimistic for the future.
I was still living at home with my mum, but I was engaged and planning my wedding and new home with husband.
I didn't have a career, was just doing an entry level admin job.
I was popular, outgoing and confident and had lots of friends.

25+ years later, I'm rather anxious about the future and 'happy' is something I experience quite rarely. I am divorced, I have my own house in a good area. I still don't have a career. I've lost a lot of my friends but I do really value the ones I have now. I've had a lot of MH issues, which started when I was 30.

Point is, life DOES change. There's been good times and bad, but one thing is sure, it does change.

Living overseas, earning a relative fortune, v exciting life- lots of travel, nights out, designer clothes..doing postgrad to retrain in career had always wanted. Madly madly in love with live in boyfriend but v tumultuous, if not toxic relationship, which came rather to unhinge me later. Found life there corrosive to the soul tho- harsh, extraordinarily materialistic and lonely at times.

I was planning our shotgun wedding, selling my flat and moving into DH's.
Was working full time, enjoyed a glass of wine or three of an evening and was out every weekend.
19 years later, teetotal with 2 teenagers in a house about 10 times the size of the flat. DD off to Uni in September, working part time and the idea of a night out no longer appeals as much as a good book and peace.

I was in a long distance relationship with a man I had met on holiday abroad as a 19yo (married him 4 years later, still together). Had recently started a PhD. Was struggling with money, saving up every penny to pay my student debts before I emigrated. Career and a real relationship seemed a long way off.

I'm 25 now. Split up with abusive Ex last year, now a single mother. Just finishing my degree.

No job, no love life, not where I ever thought I would be.

But....I'm ok. My life is better than it has been in years, and i'm looking forward to this new chapter.

Puds, sorry you've had such a tough time.. Turning it on its head though, by the tender age of 25, you've already become a mother and nearly finished a degree, achievements!

I was working full time, but didn't really like my job.
Got married to DH that year, fell pregnant with DD a few months later.
We had already bought our house the year before and were slowly working out all the jobs to be done.
I had pretty active social life, out to pubs/clubs at least once week.
Played far too much World of Warcraft.
Was battling with my mental health issues, but starting to turn a corner.

Now, I'm still with DH, pregnant again, in the same house, but with central heating and no holes in the roof.
I've changed jobs to one I love, with training and good progression prospects. I'm currently part time but that should increase as DCs get older.
Have a more varied social life, more meals out, more family events, more days out to do things, not just drink and talk.
Have nailed my mental health issues!

At 25 I wasn't where I though I would be. I'm not where I thought I would be now either, but I'm sure happy I'm here.

I had bought my own flat the year before, was on the up in my career in marketing (got my first management role) and lived with XDP - who subsequently broke up with me that year and then tried to take me to court for a cut of my property equity even though he'd only been living there a few months . I remember it as being a very stressful year and although I coped well it took its toll - heartbroken, weight loss, panic attacks, anxiety etc.

Ten years later, things are much better :o

At 25 I was living with df in our house that we had brought the year before. I was getting married to him on my 26th birthday. Life was on the outside very good. Successful at work, degree holder, enjoying my hobbies as and when we wanted, and several foreign holidays a year.

Fast forward 5 years..... We will be divorced very soon, as stbxh had been having an affair with colleague since before we got married. Now sitting in what feels like mountains of debt due to some horrendous financial decisions made by stbxh in my name that I was unaware of. Raising our dd on my own.

I wouldn't change it though, I'm free of his cheating, mind games and financial abuse

At 25 I had been with my DH for 5yrs. We had just gotten married and I had immediately fallen pregnant (unexpectedly!). Now I'm 30 and we've bought our house and are expecting out third, and last, child.

The family side of things is fab but I never did the career thing. I'm a SAHM and am studying part-time while I'm here but I never got established into anything before leaving work. I'm hoping to be able to figure out what I want to do with myself sometime soon!

At 25 I was working in a graduate job and had just sold my flat and bought a house with DP. We had just discovered we had been sold a lemon

On the outside everything appeared fine but in reality we couldn't afford the serious work the place needed and I wouldn't let anyone visit. I was angry and depressed that my mid to late 20s weren't going to be what I had hoped (and they were, frankly, shit albeit for other reasons I couldn't have forseen at 25).

Fast forward a few years and I was on the promotion train at work. I'm 32, we still have the house, but it looks rather different and we are very comfortable. I guess we're a bit behind our planned 'schedule' but life kind of gets in the way of those.

im due in 4 weeks with my first, got a mortgage to a lovely house with my other half of 7 years in.January, got a degree, my dad died 48 weeks ago
it's not what I thought, mainly I thought my dad would be here forever and he died suddenly, I thought my job would be different, not that I dont like it and it's been a bit of a struggle to get here

Out partying & having 'fun' with different men whilst working full time.

At 25 I was gettig married for the second time, having just got divorced.
We are still happy and together 35 years later, it hasn't all been bliss and plain sailing, but we've stuck at it, have four DCs, and still love and respect each other.

oh, had a breakdown at 22 AMD have been dealing (I think quite well) with depression for nearly 3 years and have accepted that it's a part of me

I was just married, living in a trendy wee flat in a trendy part of Edinburgh, dh qualified as a doctor that year, we had lots of local friends, pretty much no one we knew had any dc, I was teaching full time in a job I loved.

I finished the year in the midst of crushing depression for no apparent reason, and it took years to recover fully.