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Original poster

Would you go on a date with a man who used the term "bunny boiler"?

34 replies

Scarletohello · 07/05/2013 11:56

So I met a guy on the internet, he seemed quite nice so we arranged to meet for a drink. I asked for his mobile no so I could text him when I got to the pub. He seemed quite reluctant to give it to me and when I asked why, he said it was in case I turned out to be a " bunny boiler" I bloody hate that phrase and told him I didn't want to meet a guy who regarded women like that. Of course he was v apologetic but I didn't meet him. What do other people think,was it an overreaction or a red flag?

OP posts:
burberryqueen · 07/05/2013 11:57

Scarlet, if it was your gut reaction, go with it.

rubyslippers · 07/05/2013 11:58

Your gut is telling you something

Listen to it

burberryqueen · 07/05/2013 11:58

lol x post Grin

Freddiemisagreatshag · 07/05/2013 11:59

They beat me to it Grin

AuntieStella · 07/05/2013 12:00

I'd be bothered more about withholding his number than his turn of phrase.

If giving out his mobile number is too much for him, he's no where near ready for a date let alone a relationship. You were right to swerve.

Branleuse · 07/05/2013 12:00

he's reasonable and so are you. Incompatible. Thats fine

AlfalfaMum · 07/05/2013 12:00

No.
Also, he's probably married.

CashmereHoodlum · 07/05/2013 12:01

No. And the reluctance to give you his number would be a red flag too.

Machli · 07/05/2013 12:02

No. Would out me right off.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 07/05/2013 12:14

LOL!! The term itself wouldn't bother me particularly (hide of a rhino) but the implication that women would think he was worth stalking is hilarious.

As my DS would say 'epic fail'

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 07/05/2013 12:14

Dodgy and best avoided OP - nothing like knowing where you stand early on.

Viviennemary · 07/05/2013 12:20

When I first read the title I thought you were making something out of nothing. But now I've read your post I'd say avoid like the plague. He sounds a suspicious character. I bet he's hiding something. He sounds awful.

badinage · 07/05/2013 12:37

No - it's a gut-wrenchingly horrible term used only by male and female sexists.

LapsedPacifist · 07/05/2013 13:02

The term 'bunny boiler' says volumes about his attitude towards women, who are, let's be honest, FAR more vulnerable than men when giving out personal info and/or meeting strangers for the first time! Shock

zippey · 07/05/2013 13:44

I dont agree tha using the term is a reflection on someone attitudes, male or female. Its a turn of phrase people use, a bit like "smack head" or "wino" - I disagree it means anything.

However, I agree with most offerings on here that its a red flag that he doesnt want to give his mobile phone out. He is ready to meet you but not ready to give out his phone number?

If you do still want to meet him, I would give it some more time and talk on the phone too, to gauge things.

hellsbells76 · 07/05/2013 13:48

Dodged a bullet there. It was very helpful of him to come out with such a revolting misogynist phrase before you'd even had to waste any time meeting him :)

Original poster
Scarletohello · 07/05/2013 13:58

Hellsbells, I like that phrase, dodged a bullet! I should tell him that ( but actually no, I'm not going to waste any more time on him) thanks for all the replies, glad people feel as strongly about it as me. In fact I think reading mn threads has made ne more aware of red flags and more able to set clear boundaries around them!

OP posts:
WafflyVersatile · 07/05/2013 14:41

Well maybe he had a bad experience in the past. Either way it doesn't matter whether I would. And I probably wouldn't. You wouldn't and that's fine. YANBU.

MistyB · 07/05/2013 14:49

It is possible he couldn't think of the words, 'I think it is wise not to give out my mobile number to someone I have only had Internet contact with but I'll have my smart phone with me and you can message me on line when you arrive.' and the other words just slipped out and he is now kicking himself. I wouldn't give out my number to someone I hadn't met yet.

ellengeorgia · 07/05/2013 15:01

I agree OP I hate that phrase too... so sexist

Original poster
Scarletohello · 07/05/2013 15:13

The irony is he's sent me about 5 messages online since practically begging me to meet him! Guess it's him who's a bit of a bunny boiler now ha ha...

OP posts:
hellsbells76 · 07/05/2013 15:14

Oh the irony. What a tosser. WELL rid.

CashmereHoodlum · 07/05/2013 15:17

Glad you listened to your instinct, Scarletohello.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 07/05/2013 15:41

Oh he was projecting his own weaknesses onto you..... ahhh..... that old chestnut.

Lavenderhoney · 07/05/2013 15:46

I wouldn't hand my mobile number over on the Internet either, but people used to meet for dates before mobiles. What's wrong with saying " 10am at Starbucks".

He could have had a bad experience though, which would make him think twice about handing over numbers- its not a reflection on you, personally, as he hasn't met you. He might be ok, just cautious.