Hmmmm Dh has decided that he doesnt find me attractive anymore!! Cheeky Sod!

[TambaTheDragonSlayer]

Like he's so bloody gorgeous

Fine, dress yourself up, go out with the girls and make sure you collect lots of phone numbers that you just happen to leave lying around for him to see!

I'd have slapped my dh if he said this to me!

didn't you just say he groped you all the time?

no big loss, if you want my opinion.

i had a bf who tried this ploy on me, back when i have to admit i had a stunning body. it was his sad arse way of trying to control me.

didn't work - LOSER!

honey, i have to be honest w/you. i have a past and it's colourful.

you're young, but i'll pass on some advice a lover once gave me that was true: the best way to get over a man is to get under another.

thank you, lucas, wherever you are. you were so right!

Yup thats my plan!

Thing is though, Ive only just my confidence high enough to go out and have fun and not feel like the ugly sister!

I think hes jealous!

Expat, he did grope me all the time til we had a big arguement about it a couple of months ago. He hasnt come anywhere near me since them.

Ooo. Was that supposed to bring you round to his way of thinking then? Been reading too much 'Nuts', has he?

Of course, I'm sure it's all your fault he's not attracted to you anymore.

Tamba, from someone who's met you ... you are gorgeous on both the outside and the inside, and if your dh doesn't find you attractive anymore then he's blind as well as stupid.

WWB

If he thinks im going to make a huge effort to get him to fancy me again hes sadly mistaken...

Remember what I said about that bf who would tell me that to try to control me? Yeah, well, it didn't work.

So there you go, Tamba. You don't need that kind of bullshit, tbh.

Like he can talk with his cheesy knob.......

Honestly Tamba, that man needs a bloody good shake (as well as a wash )

I know. I just laughed at him - silly man. I wont be controlled. Ive worked too bloody hard to get where I am now (self esteem wise)

for real, tamba, been there, bought the tshirt. it's to control you and guilt you.

he sounds really dull. bet he's related to my ex bf.

he was such a twat. dumped me 5 days after i got here - then tried to get me back, of course, after he found out i'd already hooked up w/ . . . others

i had no kids. i was single. i had a copy of 'what i really need to do is find myself a brand new lover' blaring in my ears . . .

I think we both know that we are just limping miserably along... we say good morning and goodnight and thats about it. If he cooks tea, he will cook for the kids and him... We live in the same house but are totally seperate. When hes off work im out. Dont get me wrong, hes alright - but to stay in this mess for the next 60 years, no thanks!!!

We have 2 kids and a mortgage though so am tied here for the moment and dont feel particually inclined to rock the sinking boat. I go out when I want and live my own life, so I can put up with it for now.

Im actually very glad he 'gone off' me. We havent had sex for months and Im hoping it stays that way!

Hmmm.

Well, I'll use my French grandmother as an excuse, ever thought of having a person to fill your needs, an amant, as it were? That is, if you want, of course.

You'd need to be choosy. He'd have to have just as much to lose as you have if he were found out. He'd almost certainly need to be married.

Is he a lot older than you?

Hopefully he doesn't meaning it and is just trying to provoke some sort of reaction from you - bloody rude thing to say though

Seems to me like he is trying to provoke a reaction from you of sorts. Although what sort of reaction i dont know.

Nah hes 27 (im 23) but hes you'd think he was alot older. Hes very happy to sit at home every night, eat the same things all the time, likes his routines, whereas I like trying new things, going out, and just being young. We met when I was 16 and married just after my 18th. I think we just grew apart and that he resents me for having the confidence that he hasnt got, I never used to do all the things that I do now, I needed him, relied on him and wouldnt go anywhere without him. Im sure if we really really worked on it we could drag it back but I havent got the energy. Im not going to leave him, the kids are happy and we are pretty settled. I used to be miserable about it but now I have my own life and own friends so im not so lonely anymore.

Expat - [email protected]

"Im sure if we really really worked on it we could drag it back"

It's got to be worth the effort hasn't it? You would both potentially be happier if you could drag it back??

I agree with hmc.

If there is a way for you all to be happy you should grab for it.

Apathy is not a reason i'd like to give if my children ever asked why Mummy and Daddy arent together anymore. I dont mean that to sound harsh, just too tired to embelish.

Im not in love with him though, To be fair, i dont fancy him either. Its something I very rarely admit to myself because it scares me to think of it. Im comfortable (ish) atm and would find it incredably difficult to start again on my own. Its often alot easier to pretend that none of the problems exsist although they have been there for a long time. We married quickly (I was his first girlfriend) and I think you change alot between the ages of 16-23. Its wierd, I dont want to leave him but im not happy being here either. I know he is miserable too although he insists he loves me. Every word out of his mouth is sarcastic, If we are both home we sit in different rooms! I think he deserves the chance to find someone who can make him truly happy, but im too scared to give it too him. Im hoping the feeling will just go away but its been over a year now. I dont even feel any emotion writing this, its like is all gone and im just focusing on logic and facts.

Ive talked to him months ago about relate but hes not intrested. He knows hes losing me but wont make the effort to try and keep me.

Can you explain the term apathy

apathy - not being arsed either way

Ta :)