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Original poster

Sex with cousin

131 replies

Bitofadviceplease · 02/05/2013 22:11

How wrong is it?

OP posts:
TheSecondComing · 02/05/2013 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

louisianablue2000 · 02/05/2013 23:37

Not illegal, and the genetic issues are smaller than the PPs suggest unless there is generation after generation doing it.

DoctorAnge · 02/05/2013 23:41

There is too much risk.

On every level really.....

PacificDogwood · 02/05/2013 23:43

So, he's 'hot, fit and attractive', fair enough - do you love him? Are in even in love? Do you feel the need to scratch and itch, or do you see this going further?

Personally, I wouldn't and I didn't. Too much risk of longterm family upset if it does not last, and FAR too much risk of genetic problems if it does lead to a serious relationship and kids.

May be legal, but many legal things are not necessarily a good idea.

PacificDogwood · 02/05/2013 23:43

Are you even in love - sorry

GwendolineMaryLacey · 02/05/2013 23:57

My family boasts two couples who are cousins, one on each side. No big deal.

YonestGov · 03/05/2013 00:13

Perfectly legal here in Scotland. I had a major crush on my older cousin (actually mum's 1st cousin) when I was about 16. He was 10 yrs older and we became very close, but nothing ever came of it. I don't think much about it now, and it would probably have been frowned upon, but you don't think about that when you're 16 do you? He's probably still 'the one that got away' :-(

kickassangel · 03/05/2013 00:18

I thought that first cousins couldn't marry? But any more distant thanthatdoesn't matter. Unless you're royalty living in the Middle Ages.

Mumsyblouse · 03/05/2013 00:26

First cousins can indeed marry, it's not illegal.

Worth it if it's the love of your life, not worth it just for fun hot sex really, too much family baggage, it'll be messy.

whitewineintherain · 03/05/2013 00:35

I've had a crush on my cousin's son for years, i see him about once a month at my Granddad's.
It feels very wrong to be sat in a room full of family imagining doing dirty, naughty things with a family member.
However one of my Aunts married her first Cousin and they 5 perfectly healthy adult DC. It's a bit of a running joke in our family but i don't think they tell many people outside the family that they're related.

olgaga · 03/05/2013 00:36

How will your parents feel about it?

How will his parents feel about it?

How will their parents - your aunt and uncle - feel about it?

Do you have any genetic diseases in your wider family?

I'd steer well clear. No, it's not illegal. It's not illegal either to cause family rifts and ill feeling.

But are you be prepared for that? Is he?

FarelyKnuts · 03/05/2013 01:11

Don't think it's legal here in Ireland. Counts as kin. Siblings or 1st cousins AFAIK.
Every day is a school day :)

FarelyKnuts · 03/05/2013 01:13

Though that might have changed.
But no anyway, legal or not, cousins are family, would be too weird to me personally

Snowme · 03/05/2013 01:16

Been there in my early Twenties.

It makes family gatherings somewhat awkward another 20 years down the line (I can imagine. Fortunately we rarely see eachother). I mean, I wonder if he ever told his wife?

Oddly enough, his Mum encouraged us :/

I don't think that incest avoidance neurotransmitter applies to cousins, just siblings/parents.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 03/05/2013 01:38

Dont see the problem personally. apart from the fact that my cousins are eew!

Original poster
Bitofadviceplease · 03/05/2013 01:43

Known him for years (7 + years). Been close last 4 years. Been very closer last 6 months, kissed a few times, tonight had amazing sex :O

OP posts:
olgaga · 03/05/2013 01:56

So, great sex.

Answer the questions I posed above - or is it just going secretive sex?

If so, how will you feel if he meets and marries someone else, and you do too, and you have to attend all those family gatherings for decades to come?

veryconfusedatthemoment · 03/05/2013 02:09

my ex-h has 2 1st cousins who met later in life, fell in love and married. They're great! Decided not to have children tho.

mumof4sons · 03/05/2013 03:19

My maternal great-grandmothers were sisters. My mother's parents were first cousins. My maternal grandmother's sister married my maternal grandfather's brother. My great-grandfather's sister married my grandfather's brother. You'd think I was descended from royalty. Gets very confusing on a family tree.

I had a brief sexual fling one summer in my early 20s with my 2nd cousin once removed - our grandfather's were brothers.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 03/05/2013 07:05

It is legal in Ireland. My cousin is married to her cousin there, they got married about 3 years ago.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 03/05/2013 07:07

And I agree with whoever said it's probably too much hassle just for great sex but worth it for the love of your life.

ArtVandelay · 03/05/2013 07:22

I couldn't cope with the stigma, I'm not from a background where this would be seen as anything other than deviant. My family were just raised too close. Also my cousins are bleurgh.

It's not illegal though. How much chatting have you done with the cousin about the issues? What's his take on it all?

LalyRawr · 03/05/2013 07:25

It's legal like everyone said, but to me it would be how you were brought up.

For example, my OH's cousins are more like his siblings. They all went on family holidays together, whole family meets up at least once a month. If he were to start a relationship with his cousin, it would be weird to me.

However, I could walk past my cousin in the street and not know who they were (my dad left his country when he was young and never had any contact with them, I didn't even now who to contact when he died). If I was the to start a relationship and it turned out he was my cousin, to be that would be ok.

Does that make sense?

tiredemma · 03/05/2013 07:27

I just couldn't do it. My male cousins are as close as brothers to me.

LadyIsabellaWrotham · 03/05/2013 07:30

I'd be worried about the genetics with a full cousin, but this bloke is one step more distant, and you're not planning to breed ATM, so I don't really see a problem.