Would this annoy you too? Or am I being oversensitive? Chatting to a man

[currentlyconfuseddotcom]

So I was talking to someone recently, educated, chatty, seemed quite nice and not bigoted, we swapped numbers but after that he commented on my figure, he said that he liked slender women and most of the women in the area were larger.

It's totally put me off him. I know we all have preferences but I didn't like him commenting on my body, even in a positive way. Am I just being ultra touchy? I recently got out of a bad relationship so my antennae are out of whack and possibly doing overtime.

Anyfarker

Mcballs were your shoes from 'new look' by any chance?

DS helpfully posted too quickly for me, hang on and I'll finish.

I had a similar comment at the cobblers when picking up two pairs of shoes. Something about having gorgeous feet (mine are far from gorgeous)
Thought it most odd, then got home and noticed both pairs (from new look) said 'your feet look/feel gorgeous'

On the inside of the shoes.
Sorry for instalments, DS being a menace and pressing buttons o n iPad.

Twatty bloke used to like commenting "she's no stranger to a fish and chip supper".

Binned.

I quite like it AF!

I quite like it AF!

Terra - no not New Look. They are very practical, comfy winter boots...another reason why I suspected a piss-take.

bobbywash got it right, he was trying to compliment.

Op is over thinking things.

Female view; ''OMG, he's got a blue car, that is just such a red flag, well, it would be a red flag if he had a red car too, but blue.... I mean, it's not red, or black, urgh, black is so depressing isn't it and hard to keep clean and shiny too, or green, don't some people say green cars are unlucky, and the white ones look like police cars - oh no, he's not a policeman is he? Oh wait, his car is blue, maybe he's an undercover policeman, how cool! Or is it? Isn't it a dangerous job, he might get hurt, or maybe he's got a blue car because he's a taxi driver, omg, don't taxi drivers rape passengers, I better delete his number, wait, he told me he's an accountant, not a taxi driver, now where is the undelete on my phone.......''

Bloke view; ''It's a car...''

No, I agree with McBalls. He's just demonstrated that he feels casually entitled to assess every woman in the world like their job is to be aesthetically pleasing to him. I think it's a sign he's a wanker.

Always listen to your gut..

He'd had a couple, he didn't want to say anything too personal, if he had gone on about how perfect your figure was that would have been creepy too. You didn't actually mind at the time.

Personally I would give him another chance, but then I was never very picky.

cronullansw That can sum up Mumsnet somewhat ...

I think he ruffled my boundaries a bit, I'm a bit of a neurotic cat on a hot tin roof at the moment anyway, and as we were previously chatting normally and getting on I wasn't expecting him to switch into 'flirtation' mode.

Also my ex used to compare me negatively to other women, so getting compared again makes me unhappy. I'm a world away from the chat 'n' snog mode I spent my twenties in!!

It was only a chat anyway (though I've had texts since calling me his sweet, too fast), no need for me to start dating again yet :)

Give him my number, I like compliments !

Seriously OP, think you are over-thinking, go on a date and get to know him better

It would irk me, if I'm honest. I don't like being compared, end of. I don't compare others, therefore don't like that behaviour.

Trust your gut

Just sounds a bit shallow to me. We're all influenced by looks, but I think he's effectively saying 'You'll do because you're not a fattie' which is a bit patronising.

Hmmm...it's possible it was a ill fated compliment...maybe his gobtan away with him through nerves.

BUT

I'd be wary, just as you are...it does indicate shallow values and a judgemental attitude towatds women.
If he sneered a bit, I'd be thinking 'eugh' as well.

Sneery men are horrid. Men who sneer about women not being pleasing enough to their self important eye, are to be noted.

gobtan? gob ran

How would you have felt if he'd commented favourably on your hair colour or eye colour? To him it's probably all part of the same idea of attraction - you have a shape that he finds attractive and he was paying you a compliment.

I think...I would struggle with physical intimacy too quickly right now. He made me very aware of my sense of space because after swapping numbers, and me thinking that although there was an attraction it would be nice to talk again, he started saying 'I like your tights' and then a second later 'you're really slender...I like slender women. The women around here overweight' whilst moving quite close. I left soon after.

I wouldn't really mind if someone commented on hair, eyes, or indeed feet!

A comment on tights (or feet) at this stage is simply inappropriate.

@ anyfarker

It's not the compliment that's the problem, it's the doing down of everyone else... I know the men on this thread are finding it a bit 'woo' but there is a massive difference between

"You look nice this evening"

and

"You look nice this evening. The rest of the women I've met here are munters"