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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Rape within marriage: why do so many people refuse to believe me?

58 replies

ClementineKelandra · 28/04/2013 17:19

The long story short is that I seperated from my H last Autumn after years of mental and occasionally physical abuse.

Since the seperation several close friends and family members have asked how I am, what went wrong etc. I decided to tell them about the occasion h raped me because I needed people to see what he was really like. One of my friends went very quiet after I told her and then has distanced herself from me ever since.

Perhaps the worse thing though is that my own mother thinking I am lying and 'confused' due to the depression I suffer with and doesn't want anything to do with me now. She even phone h to see how he was!

This has been the worst time ofy life and they've all effectively abandoned me. I am the victim but I'm been treated as if I've done something wrong.

OP posts:
financialnightmare · 10/05/2013 22:06

I believe you too.

TisILeclerc · 10/05/2013 22:16

I believe you and you are not responsible for even the tiniest iota of his appalling behaviour.

jynier · 10/05/2013 22:16

I believe you, OP. Try and be strong, x

fengirl1 · 10/05/2013 22:23

I believe you. This isn't my thread, and I don't want to talk about it anyway, but what you describe isn't so very far from my own experiences.... I'm so glad you feel you're healing.

Wolfiefan · 10/05/2013 22:27

You did NOT make him behave the way he did. I believe you. Rape happens (whether it is in a marriage or not). Being married does not allow a man to have sex with you against your will. Any man who does this is a rapist.

SolidGoldBrass · 10/05/2013 22:49

I believe you. Some men simply don't consider women as human, and if they are in a relationship with one they consider they have every right to stick their dicks in her no matter what she thinks about it.

I'd just like to add that your friend who 'went quiet and distanced herself' may have reacted in that way because she herself has been abused and feels unable to talk about it, and so unable to be as close to you because it brings up painful memories of her own experience.

OxfordBags · 10/05/2013 22:58

Yes, Unchartered, it's his responsibility and his fault. His choice to fape and be a cunt. And Ledkr - can't believe how far some people will go to deny reality. Your poor DS Sad

OxfordBags · 10/05/2013 22:59

Fape? Rape, obviously.

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