Domestic violence survivors: How long until you stop being scared/stop thinking about it?

[puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE]

Hoping to speak to those who have come out the other side and have moved past these feelings.

It's been a year since I left, and I still think about it every day. I'm scared every day and I cry about it frequently.

I'm tired of feeling like a victim and want to be strong. To be able to talk about it without crying, and live my life without fear.

Sorry this isn't really a nice topic for a saturday afternoon.

[inneedofrain]

Oh Puds

I don´t know if what I am going to be able to say will help any

Its been 10 years since i finally got rid of mine. But it took another year of my flat being broking into, my flat being trashed, car damaged, him laying in wait etc. Befor I moved and only then did I start re building my life. Infact the first week I was at my house I came home for work to find the front door ajar and honeslty I was a sobbing mess on next doors step (who I had not met befor) and my lovely neighbour went into my house and through it to check everything was ok befor I went in. The door had simply not shut when I went out in the morning!

10 years later my breath still catches if I see someone like him.

I have a fab DH and a wonderful life, and so will do you.

Your not weak, or stuck. you didn´t let it happen to you (trust me I am the most unlikely person EVER, to have been hit and then to stay and let him do it to me over and over again, and much worse)

10 years on, it is still part of me (and will always be) but it does NOT define me anymore.

I make a point of talking about it in RL, I´m odd but I think that one of the biggest problems is that people in abusive relationships feel alone mostly becuase that is what their "partner" wants and in part because no one talks about it! Its not MY dirty little secreat and its his and the more people that I tell the less power it has over me.

Stay strong, its a difficult road but all you have to do it put one foot in front of the other, you have already come so far,

you are all ready a surviver.

[inneedofrain]

and so will you one day! Sorry

[puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE]

Thank inneed, I really appreciate people telling me how their lives have moved on since.

I really hope that one day i'll have another relationship, but can't help feeling that it won't happen. I cannot trust men, and any outward show of anger terrifies me. I don't like the thought of ever sharing my house with a man again.

In the same breath though, I'm starting to feel lonely. I'm starting to notice the silence in my house. I'm hoping this is just a phase as I know I'm vulnerable at the moment.

Thank you again to everyone who has posted on this thread, you really are helping me