My parents won't come to our place because....

[tostaky]

After 4.5 years, my dad had the guy to tell me. At long last!
They came for the birth of Ds1 (c-section so DP did a lot of things) and....

1. DP asked my mum for money for the hospital parking (£20 - it's London, parking is expensive especially when You've spent many hours in a&e with a 4 days old baby.)
2. DP put the wine and the cheese away a bit too early for my dad's liking during one meal (I cannot remember)
3. Apparently DP also have them dirty linen. (When I ask him why he and mum didn't say so they say they didn't want to disturb me as c-section + brand new baby with severe jaundice. Still I think I wouldn't have mind to ask DP to give them another bed sheet and to check it before giving it to them...)

I am really mad at my dad right now, tears etc...

I'm at theirs right now with the kids but not DP. I invited them again (despite them saying no several times over the last 4.5 years). And my dad told me that. That he would never ever come to ours again. I am welcome to his but he doesn't want to set foot in ours.

This is crazy. Do you think it is because he doesn't like DP? DP is great but maybe a bit tactless sometimes and in the past he has had to apologise about things he said that were interpreted badly by my super-sensitive parents.
Am I crazy? Should I stop seeing my parents? Should I tell DP? My dad has crushed me....

Your parents are pathetic. Sorry, but they are.

Swimming pool they never use.
Whining over 20 quid.

I bet they hadn't bought the cheese & wine they moaned about, either, had they?

OP. how pathetic of your parents. how childish and selfish and stupid and pathetic. and over such trivia too.

I think I would say something like this to my parents if they did this (which they wouldn't because they aren't anything like this, not even slightly) 'f*ck you both!', thrown a balled up 20 at my fathers self righteous nose handed them a 20 and walk out.

I would, I really would.

I really truly feel for you.

I think you've just got to view your parents as flawed individuals. Really try not to stress over it and imagine if they did come round...your Dad might have inadvertently saved you from a worse hell! If they are so sensitive over the little things you have mentioned there would be loads of opportunities for them to be offended if they did visit. Also if you are anything like me you would have to tidy up! YUCK! .

You're not crazy OP. You're a child of toxic parents. You were bred to feel crazy, doubt yourself, please them and put them first to your own detriment.

If they don't like your DP it's because they don't have total control over him and your relationship with him interferes with their ability to own you.

Google children of toxic parents and I bet you'll find it's like looking in a mirror.

And exactly why do you want these professionally offended self absorbed individuals coming to stay with you? Your poor DH.

Right! The 20 quid - I read it that you and DP had been in hospital with poorly DC for 4 days, DM came to relieve DP and he realised he had no money to get out of hospital car park?
If that were my DM, she would give me or my DH her last penny if we needed it, especially with poorly newborn.
As long as your DP is a great partner to you and father to your DC your parents should be supportive. Full stop. Good luck

This is an old thread!