I am feeling guilty why did I do that what have I done.I have done a bad thing. Come and flame away

[freddiemisagreatshag]

I was going to n/c but I decided not to.

DP works away. A lot. And when he's away he's away and we have very very limited contact. Before he went away the last time we had a very long and serious chat about how much I hated it how it didn't work for me, from his point of view, it's going to be like this for the next 3 years or so and if I wanted not to wait for him that was fine.

So he went away and we are still emailing regularly and I know the first chance he gets the first thing he will do is phone. The emails are friendly but no more, on my part. But I don't think I've been clear that he's a friend not a partner anymore. Because I think I was hedging my bets which is a horrible thing to do.

I am very fond of him he is a lovely bloke but he does not make my heart skip. I am not "in love" with him.

I have an ex who I dumped. I broke his heart. He loves me utterly and totally and I was a bitch. I was in a place where I didn't want a relationship (too soon after end of marriage) and I treated him like crap.

We keep in touch periodically and see each other odd times, we have mutual friends and seeing him makes me grin like a loon. He makes my heart skip flip jump and I love the bones of him.

I have an event to go to that is really important to me. "DP" can't go because he's not in the country at the time of the event. Tickets went on sale yesterday and I bought two.

And texted the ex to say "I have two tickets to go to X would you go with me"

And he has replied "Yes of course I would love to go with you it would be an honour and a privilege"

And we texted back and forward and he's asked me out on a date and I've said maybe.

But I can't tell DP that it's definitely over for another month, not face to face. But then he said I could see other people, and I WANT to try again with the ex.

So come and kick me up the arse please.

It's actually a very simple situation, email dp, tell him it's not working and go on your date with ex.

Whilst I wouldn't normally condone breaking up by text/email, it seems that this man has zero respect for you, so doesn't deserve any in return.

I have sent the email to DP and said I was cutting contact completely and I wish him well

I feel very sad

I was with a wonderful man for three years but we fell out of love. He went abroad for a year and I met somebody else.
I turned down the somebody else because I felt absent boyfriend deserved a chance when he got back and to be spoken to face-to-face.
I waited another 6-9 months and when boyfriend got back we lasted less than a month as it was really over and we both knew it.
And if missed my chance with new man as he got a new job and moved and I sure as hell wasn't going to do long distance again!

So I say if you don't think it's right with "DP" then email him and tell him clearly and finally.
Then, as a single woman, think carefully about what you want with "ex".

I really think you've done the right thing!

Hi OP

I think you did the right thing. You might want to think about why you feel sad, what this relationship meant to you, given that it doesn't sound very fulfilling for you.

He is a lovely man. He's kind to me he's attentive

I never felt I loved him though. I knew I cared, but that's not the same as love.

No one is perfect, me either, and there are a whole ton of things I could put here and haven't.

As to the ex. Well whatever will be will be. Not even thinking about that.

PM'd you.

I don't think that what you've done is awful,yet

I now think you have two choices

You need to tell your current boyfriend/friend that it's over and you want to meet people/go out on an eve with an ex. You can choose to do it now, via email/phone and go to your concert. OR (and I'd do This) cancel night with the ex, take a friend instead, explain your situation to him and see him once you've spoken to current one

I've finished it with DP.

The night out is one where if I don't take a partner of the opposite sex I'll stand out like a sore thumb. I've gone on my own on other occasions and it's made me cry in the car on the way home (pathetic)

Yes, you've done right by emailing him.

Take some time to think about what you want out of relationships before getting too entangled with anyone else.

I do know exactly what I want in a relationship - that's why I ended it properly with "DP"