I might not get anyone else so should I get toether with this guy?

[SodaStreamy]

I'm 44 and have physical problems with mobility .....I've lost feeling in my feet (neurological condition) so I find it extremely difficult to get about on my own.

I'm on my own and have been for years , I manage well with my children but they are getting older and will all be leaving home soon and I'll be on my own.

I have an old boyfriend who is trying to get back in touch and I never had mobility problems when we had a relationship, so he knows the old me.the well me. but he knows I have physical issues

Thing is he sometimes takes drugs and every and know he wants to get back together and part of me is thinking if I was able to be the person I was once was and met other people I would not entertain him

But I'm stuck in the house all day by myself with no extended family (they are all deceased apart from a brother who I don't speak to)

I've lost all my friends since I developed my disability, mainly because I don't want anyone to think of me other than being the old me

He's not ideal but I can't see me meeting anyone else that would accept my disability so maybe I should just let him back into my life?

nametkenagain whilst I could once distract myself myself with work, voluntary work, groups...........that is beyond me at the moment I cn't walk unaided so I cant do these things that I used to do

Quite frankly, he smokes heroine. I can only predict heartache.
Just walk away.

Then get counselling and get back in touch with old friends and meet new ones.

The fact that you think this heroin user if your last chance, is the absolute reason why you must not go there

Because your desperation will make you very vulnerable and fuckwits like him will smell it a mile off

How many other ways will you degrade yourself if you welcome into your life on your flawed logic ?

welcome him

You don't need to be able to work. ( no, I don't work for ATOS!). There's loads of sitting down jobs, especially online. It's mental distraction you need, do that you don't make a decision you regret.

I meant to say 'you don't need to be able to walk, to work'. Sorry

When you said drugs, I thought you meant weed not heroin! You would be on the rocky road.

Oh you have children? Then at the very least think of them and do not bring a heroin user into their lives and home!!

tis ok I haven't booyhoo my eldest is who 19 knows of this man and to be fair doesnt like him that much.

Just phomed him nd he got all agresive 'I don't want an argument . when all I said was 'where do you see this going, you never tell me what you want from me as person'

That's it I suppose I just cut off the last adult that ever spoke to me

perhaps not agresive defensive

Your daughter is an adult for starters. Despite what you say i can tell that you are actually iincresibly low. Have you seen the GP about this? Are you taking ADs?

Btw. Wasn't saying give him a shot there. I meant that you seem to be judging and defining everyone in your life including yourself in terms of the past.

That is not a way to consider a future.

yes ...i have anti depressants cheers for making me feel like a loser who needs tablets

give over

@AnimatedDad I am a bit because I remember who I was before I had the neurological thing that stopped my feet working and to be to honest I'm embarrassed about it because i don't feel 'whole' any more

plenty of us do. none of us are losers.

i was trying to help. i was going to suggest that if you were on AD's you might wnat to see teh GP again about changing them/the dosage.

look it's clear you aren't in a good frame of mind. you aren't thinking healthily. you sound like you are in self destruct mode.

people here will help but not if you're going to fuck them off with idiotic, stroppy replies when they do.

i'm out.

@ sorry booyhoo I did not mean in anyway o upset you

I am in a good frame of mind ......... am thinking healthily and I'm certainly not in self destruct mode?

I really am terribly sorry i upset anyone.

I'm lost , feeling lonely ........im not in self destruct mode or going to subject my children to shite .......i just don't know what to do....because if I tell this man to get to f ......I will in all likeyhood never met another and then pend the rest of my life alone

I can't get out my house on my own , I can't go to groups or classes or hobbies

I will not met anyone else

Ok, I was the lone voice of 'yes', but I take it back.

This man does not represent hope. Having him in your life is not better than having nobody in your life- that's how destructive hard drug use can be. He represents desperation. Get together with him and you will always feel desperate.

It sounds like you need some mobility assistance- is there anything which would make it possible for you to go out alone?

he doesn't represent hope ...thank you

I'm gong to try and forget I started this thread and meld back into the 'normal' conversations........and forget this ever happened

I didn't even have to read your whole post - just from the question in the subject line, I can tell you the answer is 'noooooooo! don't do it!'

'I might not get anyone else' is never a good reason to settle for something that you know in your heart is not good enough for you :)

Having no relationship is always better than having a bad relationship.

And FUCK ever being with an addict. Seriously. That is a one way street to headfuckville.

Soda,Izzy has given some insightful advice there. Don't cut out your friends from your life. They'll probably feel hurt. I've done the same thing as you,believing that I'm some sort of burden on them.
Tomorrow,I'm going to phone them all and re-connect. I wouldn't take anyone into your life that will add negativity.
If you've been prescribed AD's,make sure that they aren't actually making you feel worse than you would without them.

xx

Sodastreamy, whatever your neurological condition is, there will be other people living with it and in all likelihood there will be an Internet support group. And there are other people with different reasons for impaired mobility - they are out there, you are not alone. You are still the same person in your head as you were before your feet stopped walking, you can still think, talk, share, laugh - and that's why you shouldnt feel alone. Are your grown-up DCs able to take you out, could you drive an adapted car, have you talked to your GP/specialist about how to broaden your horizons? It's so sad to read of your feeling that your life is over in your 40's - it really isn't. You don't need a stroppy heroin addict in your life!

thank you

I know I'm not getting it yet .....so thank you you are helping me get to get the strength to say , even if just to myself.........he is talking heroin .......wake up and smell the cofee