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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating Thread 50 .....

999 replies

TigsytheTiger · 07/04/2013 12:28

celebrating half a century of dating chit chat, all welcome ...

OP posts:
Scrazy · 09/04/2013 11:30

OWW, that's a bit odd, like you say no obligation to chat, unless he was replying to you.

Velvet, re dieting. I do the 5 to 2 diet most weeks, I've lost a little which is what I was aiming for and if anything it's great for maintaining your weight and still eating what you fancy, within reason, on non fast days. I think it's trimmed my belly fat down.

OhWesternWind · 09/04/2013 12:01

Well, on to the next one . . . No time for that sort of nonsense.

Sounds interesting about your weekend Scrazy!

And WFF and the Lab! You are going for it this week, you'll be worn out if you keep it up. Really good news. How is the work stuff going?

JulietteMontague · 09/04/2013 12:10

Lubey you are doing it. You will do it. Wiping over your keyboard and screen might help to 'renew' your computer and make it a new place.

Velvet you are not fat

Scatty fireman sounds genuine, he is not going anywhere. Good to hear you are getting through it all Smile.

OWW rule 3

The Dutch sailor has re-appeared and a gsm man who is actually funny has asked to call me so I've just cut to suggesting we meet for coffee. I think he's a newbee.

KinNora · 09/04/2013 12:18

Juliette - 'funny' GSM man ? Rarer than hen's teeth, nab him.

lubeybooby · 09/04/2013 12:42

Thanks all, Scrazy and Juliette

I've done it! I've cracked it properly this time, I know I have :o

I feel good! This is brilliant

I have no idea why I'm just doing really well

Maybe it was reading the Allen Carr book til 4am that did it, I really don't know as I am not following his method to a tee, but his theories and drumming stuff in are excellent.

But I find myself thinking YIPEEE I'M A NON SMOKER just like he was telling me to

I haven't even been eating loads or playing with the e-cig OR chewing gum... all things I prepared for.

God I am so happy.

VelvetSpoon · 09/04/2013 12:56

Well done lubey! Sounds like you're doing brilliantly :)

Juliette good news re gsm men, decent ones are rarer than hens teeth!

Thanks all who said I'm not fat, but honestly I really am a huge heifer at the moment. I have put on most of the weight I lost 2 years ago, which makes me feel sad, and want to eat. Which makes me fatter! Will have to go back to SW I think.

Am also in need of the crash Carp as being all wistful about C. So if you wouldn't mind Kin...

Snapespeare · 09/04/2013 12:57

it's a mindset Lubey! well done you! Wink

scatty nice to hear from you - and good news about the cbt/ADs - it's a long journey sometimes, but you sound as if you're placing your feet carefully. :)

48howdidthathappen · 09/04/2013 13:01

Scatty I know how you feel. I wonder how Mr R&R has put up with me at times. Seems we are lucky to have found a bloke who loves us warts and all Smile

Scrazy Come on. Share.

Well done Lubey Envy

Scrazy · 09/04/2013 13:06

Lubey, that's the spirit, you have to really want to do it and see every little craving as a step towards ridding yourself of the addiction and becoming a non smoker.

OK, I have agreed to a catch up, against all the advice, but it's not just an ordinary catch up, this is a L P catch up and a real effort is being made. I have to go. Grin Blush. It's OK, it's not going to lead to anything. I will have my level head on.

48howdidthathappen · 09/04/2013 13:17

You are a dark horse Scrazy Shock Grin

MirandaWest · 09/04/2013 13:32

If the crash Carp has a bit of stamina could I have it here?

Don't think I'm actually being depressed (blooming well hope not) but feel all a bit blah at the moment heading towards grey which isn't a good thing. Have been reading the step parents boards on here too much and am worrying that Mr Nice will realise that hanging around with me means my DC will be here for quite a while longer (his DS is 18 and so at a rather different stage from my 9 and 7 year olds) and decide I'm not worth the struggle as it seems all set ups with step children are doomed :(

Plus I found myself feeling a bit about seeing Tigsy spending lots of nights with Mr EA and realising I still have different bits of life in different sections ie we only stay with each other when no DC are around. I'd sort of like to move things on a bit but not sure and don't want to sound over keen or something Hmm. We've talked about living together but in a number of years plus I need to have a better job before it could happen I think.

Plus today is sunny but we haven't gone out as I managed to make DS cry when he was being moany before and although they're happy now I think I feel like we're wasting the day and am cross with myself about it. Gah. Need to pull myself together I think. Would really like to talk to mr nice about it a bit but not seeing him until Friday and anyway I don't actually want to sound like a doom and gloom merchant.

Feel free to tell me I'm being a dipstick Grin

MirandaWest · 09/04/2013 13:34

That was much too long Blush

KinNora · 09/04/2013 13:38

Oooh Scrazy - level head is very important.

Lubey I think you'll find it was me singing to you what made all the difference ... the eye of the ti-gerrrrrrrrrrrrr

Velvet

Shockable rhythm -

clear

drrrrrrrrrr

clear

drrrrrrrrrr

Scrazy · 09/04/2013 13:45

Miranda, it sounds like you want to move things on instead of staying as you are. It's hard with DC's, I know and I could never really imagine living with someone when mine was little. I did manage it once for a couple of years but he was determined to make it work. We went through some testing times and sometimes I just wanted it to be me and DD again which is how it ended up.

Can you imagine living with him and your DC's, if so, then I would broach the subject. Ask him how he sees your future.

KinNora · 09/04/2013 13:55

Miranda the Crash Carp is fully charged at all times.

You just sound as though you're having a day when it's harder to see the positives in things, god knows what it is but I think everyone feels that way from time to time ( probably some weird brain chemistry/hypothalamus thing) so you're not being a dipstick at all.

On days like that tiny little niggling worries can worm their way from the back of your mind to loom in the foreground, blocking out all the good things.

( On the subject of crying children, have you seen the Reasons My Son is Crying tumblr ? I'm not sure how I feel about the ethics of him plastering the child all over the Internet but it did make me laugh and remind me of my toddler-wrangling years )

lubeybooby · 09/04/2013 14:37

Kin yes it's all down to the singing and running up steps and stuff :o

I FEEL AMAAAAAZING!! :o

and I've saved £13 already Shock

Do NOT add that up per week/month. it's scary. I am blocking out that information ahhlalalaaaaaaaaaalaa not listening.

Anyway!

Miranda, aww... it does just sound like a down day hon. Don't compare your relationship to other peoples, everyone has different circumstances, different levels of comfort with how early/late things like moving in etc are done. For example it would be waaaaaaay too early for me yet to be thinking about that. You need at least a clear year together I think before that is considered, when kids are involved. And to have gone on holiday all together for two weeks at least before moving in too. Loads of ground rules and all that as well when blending families. It's not something to be done lightly... the kids mean it is a MASSIVE commitment.

Scrazy · 09/04/2013 14:43

Lubey, I agree with taking it slowly towards a huge commitments but some couples do it and it seems to work. I don't understand the urgency, personally.

SundaysGirl · 09/04/2013 14:51

Hi all

I think I am ready to try some dating, it's been ages since I went out on a proper date. I am thinking of joining one of the dating sites but not really sure which one to choose, I did try POF one time but found it was mostly hookups.

Added issue is I really would just like to meet some new friends and maybe have some fun and interesting times and so on and am not really looking for a serious relationship right now...how do I say that without coming across like I'm just after sex? Confused

MirandaWest · 09/04/2013 14:53

We have been going out nearly a year Grin

This summer I am going with DC on the first ever two week holiday I have been on (mr nice will be coming along for a couple of nights) so quite probably unlikely a two week holiday with everyone will happen soon. And thinking about it I'm not really wanting to actually live with him at the moment - think I'd like him to occasionally stay over when the DC are here. Which feels a bit more manageable :)

Lubey you are doing really well

SundaysGirl · 09/04/2013 14:53

Oh also am not feeling terribly confident about pictures and so on, all the women on the one's I've looked at in my age range (early thirties) seem to be all high powered London jobs and swishy hair and lovely smiles. Whereas I'm a bit more ermmm plain and skint :-S

KinNora · 09/04/2013 14:57

Lubey Grin - you go, girlfriend

Sunday hello, I suspect other people will be better placed to advise you on the best sites and plan of action, I think some posters have mentioned a sort of social meet up site which I seem to think they recommended ( maybe it was Juliette , not sure, my memory's like a sieve )

SPsFanjoTheBigStickyHaribo · 09/04/2013 15:01

Messages today are just getting worse. The best message I have received said 'very lickable xxx' Its bad when that's the best thought he was very attractive Grin

Bant · 09/04/2013 15:08

Hi Sunday.

depending on where you live, you could try something like meetup.com to - well, meet up with people - for quizzes or walks or cookery classes or whatever.

POF has a bad reputation, mostly because it's free so you get a lot of morons, married men and people who are just offensive. You do get the odd nice person though, it just takes a lot of sifting to find them.

OKC is also free, and seems to work better for some people in terms of matching you with likeminded people - as you have to fill out a bunch of questions first.

GSM only has a few people on it, and is mostly useful in big cities

Match costs money - some people get on well with it (me included) - others hate it.

And don't be put off by the pictures of other people. They probably spent hours taking pictures to make themselves look attractive and glamorous. They're probably not so good in real life. It's just putting out the shop window decorations, you've got to do it to attract some attention but generally it's best to just approach people you like the look of and contact them. Grow a thick skin as you won't get responses from most of them, it takes time. We're here when you want to moan/celebrate about it :)

OhWesternWind · 09/04/2013 15:08

Crash carp!!! In the park with dc, last time I was here was with LM and his dc, all was lovely. Feeling a bit meh. Half expecting to see him but hope he'll not be over in my town for a while. Feeling a bit low and lonely although I've had a day full of seeing friends and family. I just want someone of my own. Bit sad and crap today.

Scrazy · 09/04/2013 15:13

How come he doesn't stay over when you have DC's Miranda?

Sunday, which sites have city types with swishy hair?