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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Just received a text

59 replies

Coffee1Sugar · 07/04/2013 07:45

From my ex. We split when dd was 2 weeks old, she will be 3 next month. He's seen her 10 times, only day time, never received bday cards or presents for her and no call or text to just require how she is. My dp is a fantastic daddy to her has been since she was 19months.

But it was a shock to get this last night: "hi, been thinking, I don't want to be a part of (dd name) life. It's for the best. Have a good life".

OP posts:

Mimishimi · 07/04/2013 12:28

If he doesn't pay maintanence anyway, I would just completely ignore it. If he does, I might text something like "as it happens, I completely agree with you. However, as her biological father, CSA will continue to view you in that light". Sounds like he is seeking some attention.

bishboschone · 07/04/2013 12:43

That's a shame .. He does sound like a prize twunt mind .

Original poster

Coffee1Sugar · 07/04/2013 17:58

Thanks. I've decided not to reply to him. I don't want to give him the satisfaction. Dd and I have had a lovely afternoon gardening and playing dollies and shops. Ex doesn't deserve such a lovely little girl. He can just do one. We have a great future and when the time comes, I'll be honest and tell her but for now, thankfully he's too young (2.11) to understand. She hasn't seen ex since November, before that July and only 8 other occasions since she was born. She has her daddy (dp) who she has seen every day since she was 19months, who bought a house with me and who loves her unconditionally.

OP posts:

DoctorAnge · 07/04/2013 18:08

What a despicable cunt.

flaminhoopsaloolah · 07/04/2013 18:14

That's the spirit - ignore the waste of space. he really needs to get over himself and that doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon and you don't need to give him free rent in your headspace.

Somethingtothinkabout · 07/04/2013 18:22

Sorry, just a though, would having to go back to SA mean that the OP can't get maintenance out of him anymore? Can the CSA get him there?

Glad your DD has your partner to show her how lovely a father can be.

abbyfromoz · 07/04/2013 18:22

Im so sorry and so very sad for your little girl :-( as someone who grew up with not much to do with my father (but had stepfather) i felt his absence and would cry asking my mum 'why doesn't Daddy care?' Indeed- how can anyone physically opt out of their child's life? He went on to have 2 more 'wanted' children no less. What a poor excuse for a man. I don't really have any advice. What a shitty situation to be in

flaminhoopsaloolah · 07/04/2013 18:36

Forget maintenance from SA - unless he voluntarily pays it it's completely not worth the hassle.

starfield · 07/04/2013 19:04

That's sad but thank goodness your DD still has a daddy. Maybe this would be an appropriate time to look at your partner becoming her adoptive parent.

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