So our last conversation was a couple of days ago - when bff skyped me from new man's apartment. We agreed on a provisional day next week that would be a good time to catch-up again.
Then this morning I got a text from bff asking if I'm usually home between such and such time. I said yes. She asked how about today? I said sure. Our arrangement is, catch-up once a week, but if something comes up, then impromptu calls are fine (within reason).
So something must've come up that she wanted to sound out. When we talked, she said it's been really good. New man was very inquisitive about her call to me the other night, asking what we talk about. She told him "everything." He asked her if she'd told me about the bruises and she said yes. She said he gave her this 'look' - like he wished she hadn't, and said "I bet she thinks I'm such an idiot!" (I didn't say anything at this point, to deny or confirm). She repeated he has said that he is never, ever, going to speak to me again. I asked her if she tells him stuff that I say, in a "DoormatorDiva is so funny...she said..." and she said yes. (Good call, ladyjadie, PigsDOFlyand lots of others!)
But she hasn't told him that I think he's a narcissist. I asked her please not to, because if it does work out and they spend years and years together, he would really dislike me! She said she hasn't, so at least I'm safe on that front, so far.
The situation now is they are virtually like a live-in partnership, she and ds go up to his place in the evenings, she feeds ds, and new man cooks for himself and bff - she said "you can't imagine how nice that is", but I think I can. Then when it gets to ds's bedtime they go back to hers, and new man joins her there after ds has gone to bed. Weekends, they do family stuff. She 'needs' him to help her with dealing with the lawyers re. the divorce.
Then, it got to the nitty gritty - she and new man had a "tiff". She says new man is always very 'open' about how he feels about her, and is starting to show signs of wanting more of an emotional commitment. She can feel it hanging in the air, even though they have already used the "L-word" (yes - it's a bit telling that she can't say it in conversation).
She says she is more reticent about things, and sometimes he will come out with something, and she is still not quite ready to reciprocate, and there is a pregnant pause. He says she is being very "coy", but will "wait" etc. She said last night she suddenly had a feeling that she is going to screw this relationship up.
I asked her if she is tempted to ask him to move in with her - she said she already did, because of the problems in his flat, but he said no - as she is still not tecknically divorced yet. He is wanting a key though!
She said he was out at a works do, and it would be interesting this time, if he would give her the 'booty call' at the end of the evening, or stay out on a bender. Apparently while we were talking, he texted her and said he wouldn't be staying out, was she going to be up later? She said for a bit, but not too long. He replied if only he had a key - "I could let myself in, and give you a snuggle while you're asleep." At the moment she is not giving him a key, but I think he is going to keep on at her until she does.
I told her I don't think she is being coy at all, after all it's only been 3mths, since she first clapped eyes on him, and before then she was only just starting to come out of her shell after her marriage. Plus they're virtually living together now, and she introduced her vulnerable ds to him by their fifth meeting - that's not being coy at all, she's already been far more open with him than usual.
Oh thank you Snorbs, I pretty much paraphrased your words when I said to her "The relationship between him and you is a very new one. You're still in the honeymoon period, and he's going all-out to impress. Yet he's already been blowing off plans, going incommunicado, getting black-outs while drunk, and getting bruises that he has no recollection of. That's a real concern. Also you need to be careful, because you needs to think of your ds too.
So she was saying "Hmmm..." and sort of listening, but I think he will get a key, simply because he will be hinting, cajoling etc, until he gets one.
In her mind though, she must know it's not quite right, or she wouldn't call me to sound it out before our catch-up. She says she just doesn't trust her own judgement anymore.
We're not due to speak until next week - I'm glad for a break as I need to protect my own sanity lol.