I don't want to have sex with DH

[MrsWhirling]

We've been together 10yrs, married 6, dd5 & ds months

. He has never had a proper job. Instead works only when one particular contractor - who is also his mate - gives him work. Sometimes he goes months without earning a penny but has never once gone out to look for work himself.

I earn a fairly well and have been lucky enough to have my parents look after my DD which meant I could work f/t and pay for everything.

Lately and as a result of some not so great news regarding my mums health I have been unable to accept the situation and have found myself increasingly feeling repulsed by what I now feel is his inability to be a real man, step up to the plate and look after his family. He became quite angry last when I again turned down his advances and accused me of using sex as a weapon. I was honest and explained that I felt like the man in the relationship and therefore felt turned off at the idea of having sex with him.

Today I am hit with the realisation that this probably means our relationship is beyond saving.

[MrsWhirling]

Me, mum & the kids are going out for the day.

It's all well people saying why live with someone like him/have kids etc and I agree to a certain extent but there really is no point in me dwelling on that now is there.

I'm not stupid, I'm intelligent, educated and have built up a fab career. I obviously have zero emotional intelligence and poor judgement when choosing a life partner.

[Lovingfreedom]

Have a good day out with your mum and kids. Try not to beat yourself up over why you're with who you're with. It happens. And it's not that straightforward. Unfortunately they don't usually wear their 'lazy cocklodger - beware' t shirts on the first few dates.

To be that selfish takes skill and IME includes some attractive seeming characteristics as well as less desirable tactics that can be turned on and off as required.

[MrsWhirling]

Thank you.

Have a great day yourself xx