My husband that he is too embarassed to go out outside the house with our daughter

[gloucestergirl]

Basically that. I'd love lovely family days out, but our DD cries sometimes. She is only 1 and gets hungry and generally acts likes a baby. Husband gets embarassed by her crying and hates going out in public with her. He won't do baby things like going to the library or the local baby musuem as it is too boring. I am so disappointed in him as a father and feel so sad.

[BOEUF]

Yes, Eggyfucker. I, too, like to express myself on these threads via the medium of words. I'm not sure what's ambiguous about that.

[CognitiveOverload]

What's ambiguous...is that you are not being explicit about your beliefs surrounding power struggles between men and women. You are seeing the post through a staunch feminist perspective. You should be upfront about that as it will influence how the OP interprets it and she is in a position of vulnerability. Its basic reflexive analysis... if you want to help people, sometimes you have to acknowledge your own biases, which they may not share.

[TheOrchardKeeper]

You know what would help...?

If the op gave a tad more info on the whole thing. It's not much to go on really. What there is of it is not looking good

[EggyFucker]

And sometimes, BOEUF, one can over use the power invested in mere words, non ?

[TheOrchardKeeper]

(and yes to depression appearing as anxiety...I had, albeit when DS was much smaller & i just had to get on with/get over it because I was alone)

[TheOrchardKeeper]

• had it
  
  And I love e/af 's posts...because they're straight to the point and if you don't like them/agree you can just ignore them.
  
  It's better than wishy washy half arsed answers that help no one or worse...goading

[EggyFucker]

How does one get "low self esteem" around a baby ?

Unless you have a very good hormonal reason that is. Like having carried that child, undergone all those hormonal tsunamis, delivered that child (possibly traumatically), then had that massive crash whilst recovering physically and emotionally from everything you have undergone, perhaps still breastfeeding with everything that takes out of you nutritionally and emotionally.

Perhaps this has happened to the OP's husband ? Could that explain it ?

[CognitiveOverload]

Is goading a synonym for disagreeing? :)

[TheOrchardKeeper]

haha










no

[CognitiveOverload]

You don't need a hormonal or biological reason for not being adept with babies.

[EggyFucker]

CO, is baiting me helpful to the OP, do you think ?

[EggyFucker]

he isn't "not adept"

he is "embarassed" and "bored"

lots of people are not adept...but they try and keep trying until they are

they don't opt out

you don't get to opt out when you are a parent (unless you are surrounded by enablers, of course)

[EggyFucker]

Wafer some poster was trying to say the reason he has opted out of all aspects of parenthood is because he could have post natal depression

I wasn't talking about depression that all genders are equally susceptible to

Op hasn't mentioned if he is depressed, so why are people are assuming he is? Those posters are just as culpable as I am for jumping to conclusions.

[CognitiveOverload]

Yes I think it is. Its not personal to you. What I am trying to emphasis is the myriad of factors which could be contributing to her partners behaviour. Snap judgments without actually discussing it with him are worthless. People are unbelievably complex and mn responses don't always take account of this. OP needs to speak to her partner not us. Additionally, she doesn't need to take on board our biases when she speaks to him.

[EggyFucker]

OP has said she has tried to discuss it with him, but it got her nowhere. Did you miss that ?

[EggyFucker]

sorry, wafer I meant to type some aspects of parenthood, not all aspects of parenthood. My mistake, there. We don't know that, of course.

[EggyFucker]

CO, of course it is personal...there is a post upthread from you that is composed entirely of a personal attack on me

[VisualiseAHorse]

What is a baby museum?

[CognitiveOverload]

So you are right as always eggy...leave the fucker. It's like the wild wild west out there. Men should be perfect or not at all. Brilliant.

[EggyFucker]

OTC I am unable to send you a pm, so will say it here. Thanks, and loving your work too