I miss him

[nutcracker]

At first I missed having someone here but now I actually miss him.

mine still makes me mad as hell

he is thousands of miles away and we still rowed today, ending with me texting him calling him a c*nt, then refusing to engage in any more discussion with him

that reminds me why i am better off alone

I 'accidentally' fell into bed with my ex last week. He was sweet, charming and very loving. I felt like I had fallen for him in a big way again ( we broke up nearly 3 months ago)... but when the dust cleared i was reminded taht he was not like that when we were together... he was (and still is) selfish, controlling and bitter. I know how confusing it is but honestly when you see a snapshot of someone on their best behaviour, they are not the same person they are on a day to day basis.

Write a very long list of why he is bad news and force yourself to look at it every time you feel the urge to call him. Remind yourself how he made you feel when he was at his worse. And talk to your mum, your friends, anyone who can remind you what life was really like with him

I'm determined to kick my 'addiction' to him-- I'm treating it like I did when I gave up smoking... bloody hard at first, a few relapses along the way but ultimately a decision i'm bloody glad I made for the sake of my (mental ) health.
You are strong and you will find happiness with someone else who will treat you the way you deserve.

Good luck

If it's any consolation I always felt like this at the end of a relationship but for no good reason. IMO most men, on the other hand, walk away and are as happy as larry but then after a year they hanker after their ex's and they always look back fondly on ex's from that point on.

My advice is try to imagine what it will be like when you meet someone new...someone without all this baggage, someone who leaves the next morning and you feel elated about. That's the feeling you want to achieve.

Hi all, have been doing loads and loads of thinking the past few days and have talked to Xp alot. We have been over everything that was a problem in our relationship and he assures me he has changed and I think he probably has but it's just not enough, I just don't love him or fancy him and although he is convinced he could change the way I feel, I am not.

At the moment he is under the impression that I ma reconsidering things, which to be fair to me I have been, but I am going to tell him that I just cannot risk us getting back together end me having to spend the rest of my life with a man i don't love.

I feel quite selfish but I just can't risk it.

I think you are making the right decision Nutcracker. How can a man of whatever age your ex-p was have made fundamental personality changes in the space of a few weeks? He may have lots of good intentions, but that doesn't actually mean change.
Your posts of old always sounded really unhappy. I know how hard it is on your own but you are right not to go back at this stage.
Stay strong & try and keep a bit angry about how mean he was to you, because that will help you keep going when its tough.

hats off to you nutty- its very brave of you.

i think the worse bit really is over, you have accepted the fact now that you dont love him anymore- he just needs to accept it now.

agree though that he may think that he is back on his way in after your little slip-up the other night (you little minx!!)

good luck- hope he doesnt make things difficult for you.

well done for coming to a decision, sounds like you made the right one

onwards and upwards now!

And it seems leapoards don't change their spots. He has just rung and said that he is in the shit cos he sister has said he's gonna have to start contributing towards the house whilst he is staying there.

I said, well sorry but you can't come back here, and he hung up.

So much for having changed.

I do feel that it is the right desicion, and want to thankyou all for not having a go when i said I was considering taking him back.

Keep it up, nutty.

Hmm. He's how old and he still hasn't go his act together? What's up w/that?

Nutcracker - everytime you feel selfish for making this decision, remember how selfish he was and still is. Your last post confirms that.

Am feeling much more positive about things.

My friend came over this afternoon and we had a really good chat about it all.

It's odd but i'm quite glad that Xp was an arse earlier today because it just confirms that I have made the right desicion.

ikwym nutty!