I've been married for 17yrs, i turned 40 last year, husband is 43. We have a teen who is 14.
I've felt that my husband hasn't been right for about 6 months, not touching me or showing affection and he's had some problems with his erections (soft or non-existent).
I spoke to him a few weeks ago to explain how I felt and he said he felt like we were just friend and that we didn't do anything together anymore.
He said I wasn't making an effort anymore as I like to wear lounge clothing in the evening, also that we needed to be spontaneous and he said that 99% of the time our sex life was the same.
I went out the following day and bought some evening clothing to show my figure off, I also tried to be spontaneous when our daughter was out and he said I was pressuring him.
I have left it to him to come to me for sex as I don't want to be ejected again and he's not touched me.
I spoke to him again the other night and he said it had only been 3 weeks and things didn't change that quickly!
I told him he should go to the doctors and reluctantly has agreed, he's going tomorrow.
He said that he's felt things haven't been right for over a year but had not said anything and the he wouldn't have done if I hadn't raised it!
I have suggested date night, but he said its too planned, I've suggested marriage counselling and he says he doesn't want to pay for someone to tell us what we already know (not sure what that is yet).
I asked him about the things we did together and he said that he only did them because its what I wanted and he doesn't want to fake it now. Clearly he loved me enough to make an effort before, now he obviously doesn't. I feel like he has given up and is not willing to try anything.
I've asked to go to the doctors with him but he says no and I'm worried he won't tell the doctor the full story.
I can't live like this, we have a house and my parents own half and live in an annex next door so I can't sell it as they'll have nowhere to go. Not sure where to go next with all this.