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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I think I want to be alone

30 replies

itsabigworldoutthere · 06/03/2013 09:43

I've name changed for this one just incase dp cottons on !

Been together 2yrs, lots of problems in the beginning with feeling insecure with him texting a women 'friend' and generally not communicating with me.

Seem to finally have things sorted, he is being reassuring and attentive and generally a nice guy.

I just don't know if I can be bothered anymore though.

Its silly things like he farts loudly constantly -on my head the other day! thought it was hilarious.
I have a gorgeous dog who lives with my ex and as my dp has a dog I cant ever have mine to stay with me whilst living with him.
Sex is frequent which is nice - but he does seem to forget that a women has needs to and him getting himself off and not considering me seems a bit one sided sometimes.
We don't do anything together, he is quite happy to stay in all the time, some Saturdays he's off to bed at 830pm

I have mentioned these things to him, but to be honest it's just who he is, and I don't expect to change him

I'm sure I sound really stupid but I needed to write it down and ask if any words of wisdom ? :)

I seem to be longing for my own space, but I'm worried about breaking away and sitting alone every night and regretting it .

Please any advice would be amazing :)

OP posts:
Lovingfreedom · 06/03/2013 09:46

He sounds like a bit of a pig and like you could be happier without him. You don't need an excuse to dump him...and get your dog back.

MooncupGoddess · 06/03/2013 09:46

You don't sound at all stupid. Why stay with a dull farting man who is crap in bed? There is much more to life... I'd be astonished if you regretted ending it.

Fairylea · 06/03/2013 09:47

He farted on your head and your worried about leaving him !?

Run for the hills !

Fairylea · 06/03/2013 09:48

You're not your. Grammar police will shoot me.

TeaMakesItAllPossible · 06/03/2013 09:49

You will be fine.

It sounds like you're sitting in a lot already and, in my opinion, it is better to be alone than lonely in a relationship.

If you have your dog with you then walks will need doing. And you can go out on Saturday night without waking him up.

BeerTricksPotter · 06/03/2013 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lizzabadger · 06/03/2013 10:06

He sounds like an arse. Dump.

boyfromipinema · 06/03/2013 10:09

Funny...and here's me thinking farting on girl's head was the way to her heart.

akaemmafrost · 06/03/2013 10:32

He sounds HORRIBLE! I have dumped for far less with no regrets.

Being on your own is brilliant. I was constantly in a relationships since I was 15 till mid thirties. Three years single and wouldn't be bothered if I am ever with anyone again.

akaemmafrost · 06/03/2013 10:33

Grin boy

elly67jo · 06/03/2013 10:38

There is no way you should let him treat you like that. No kids involved? Scarper asap...

crushedintherush · 06/03/2013 10:44

he goes to bed at what time on a Saturday night ????
Do you think he may be as fed up with you as you with him?

I'm a firm believer in actions speak louder than words. If my dh went to bed at that time, I'd think he didn't want to spend time in my company (nothing to do with the fact he doesn't like 'casualty'Grin ).
He has no respect for you. Finish it. Sounds like it already is.

Original poster
itsabigworldoutthere · 06/03/2013 13:59

Thanks for all the replies
crushedintherush He goes to bed at that time everynight he has to be up early for work Mon- Fri , but unfortunately it carries over to the weekend its a pattern he's always had.

Are there things that niggle you all about your partners though? Or anytimes you think about other options?

OP posts:
Corygal · 06/03/2013 14:03

Leave the smelly brute. You won't regret it.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 06/03/2013 14:10

I don't understand why you think that if you didn't have this particular boyfriend you'd be 'sitting alone every night'. The advantage of being a single woman is that you can stay in or go out and basically do whatever the hell you like... not sit there post 8.30pm twiddling your thumbs while Sexually Selfish Fart Boy snores away upstairs. In fact, if you didn't have a boyfriend you'd have more motivation to make things happen for yourself rather than waste your time.

crushedintherush · 06/03/2013 14:24

sorry itsabigworld, I didn't know he worked late all week too. Could he swap shifts sometimes to a day shift, say on a thurs/fri so he can stay up late on a Saturday with you? Can't be much fun for either of you.

Pizzaexpress2 · 06/03/2013 14:27

Gosh. In a rut after 2 years. I don't think this is loves young dream.
Yes, there are lots of things that my DH does from time to time which make me want to smash his face in, (metaphorically speaking) but if we weren't together I would desperately miss his love, fun and companionship. I certainly wouldn't have a fear of being on my own as my greatest fear.
I think that when you start to question your commitment then it is already time up.
Before my DH I had several genuinely nice boyfriends but none of those would have been great long term as there was a lack of spark.

I think you have already left this relationship, if not physically yet.

crushedintherush · 06/03/2013 14:43

And yes, as far as our dh/dp's are concerned, I 'm sure we can all say there are things that really get to us. No relationship is perfect, All we 're doing is answering your thread and offering you support as you seem to be having doubts Smile

Original poster
itsabigworldoutthere · 06/03/2013 14:54

I really appreciate all the advice and support :) very very much.

I am having doubts, its just being strong and doing it hey :)

I'm trying to consider all the pros , one being hopefully saving money on just one person to feed - he eats so much !

OP posts:
crushedintherush · 06/03/2013 15:13

...and another pro is you can have your dog back. Unless he/she eats more than your dp....Grin

Original poster
itsabigworldoutthere · 06/03/2013 15:25

crushedintherush Thats the one big main reason that can keep me strong and do this !:0

Maybe thats why he farts so much all the bloody food he eats ! :)

OP posts:
crushedintherush · 06/03/2013 15:58
Grin nearly choked laughing at that last bit, reminded me not to have broccoli with the tea tonight..

ha ha, only kidding, my dh has the same problem but with beer, so rank on a sunday, bleughhhh

Hope you sort things out either way Smile

rightchoice2 · 06/03/2013 18:58

I would add that you wont necessarily be lonely if you split, you may find that you can invite friends round, get out more. Being single need not equate to being lonely. It does sound to me that you are flogging a dead horse. After struggling to put the relationship on course it has ended up with you feeling lie this. Just ask yourself one thing, how will you feel five years down the road? If that is not a happy thought, I imagine you know what to do. If this is him at his best the future sounds grim!

ImperialBlether · 06/03/2013 19:26

OP, are you insane? He does what on your head? My eyes are boggling!

How can you bear to be with this stinking, selfish, cheating twat? How? How?

pamelat · 06/03/2013 19:40

I wouldn't end a relationship over what time someone goes to bed but it's more about how you feel about it all and you do sound like you're over him already.

It's probably unfair to both of you to drag it out

My DH farts frequently and openly. I don't like it but he won't stop. However on your head (!!!!) that's almost abusive?

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