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Original poster

Found messages DP says they are from ages ago

29 replies

Blush12 · 03/03/2013 10:30

Found messages that DP of 4 years sent to his ex gf asking her to pick him up after he had been on a night out, this was the night he didn't come in till half 4.

Then other messages go on to contain how he thinks of her every day, how gorgeous and sexy she is etc etc btw how unhappy he is... News to me....she has responded to these. I have also found that he had been in contacted with her the day I found the messages via Facebook this time..

When I finally asked him about them he said they were from years ago, then changed to months ago... And now he is saying that she sent a smiley face that happened to be on his night out Hmm.. He says they are not big deal because he sent them while drunk months ago (btw) I saw the dates they were recent Sad I am totally floored, upset and sick by this, while send messages
Like that when you are meant to be out with your friends..

I want to believe him but my gut is telling me different. Please help me get some perspective on this.

OP posts:
EmmaDale · 03/03/2013 10:33

I'm sorry - he sounds like an immature idiot.

Surely you know he's lying because you saw the date of the messages and you know for a fact that they are recent?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/03/2013 10:35

Listen to your gut.... he's clearly making this all up as he goes along... and then ask him to leave for a while. You need a bit of thinking time and that's impossible to do when you've got Mr Fairy Story lying in your face.

Feelingpissedoff · 03/03/2013 10:36

Idiot,him not you. He knows you can read?

Original poster
Blush12 · 03/03/2013 10:47

Last night when I spoke to him about it, he said he now realises how I feel about him as he can see how gutted I am, as he just thought I wasn't that bothered about us and that I just wanted somebody to clean the bathroom occasionally wtf Hmm. So then why are we living together, planning things for the future if I wasn't bothered about us, how pathetic, why do men do this?

He thinks I am fool.. He said that she didn't pick him up and I said what would happen if she did... Oh drop me at home our house.. Yes right...

I can't believe he has done this as never thought he was like this. Sad

OP posts:
tallwivglasses · 03/03/2013 10:51

So, prove to him you're not a fool. Dump the fucker, he's done you a favour by revealing his true colours now rather than later. Sad for you - but please don't waste time on this man.

EmmaDale · 03/03/2013 10:52

So, not only is he acting like a knob but he's blaming you for his bad behaviour?!

I feel sorry for you as it must feel horrible. I know it isn't necessarily that easy to simply LTB however, in your situation, I could never trust him + would have little respect for him so would honestly ask him to leave. Don't waste any more time trying to figure out the detail of what happened - he's lied and he'll lie again.

Original poster
Blush12 · 03/03/2013 11:02

That is what I have been thinking all week asking him to leave Sad

God why do men / women do that send messages and think its no big deal when actually it cause heartache, loss of trust, the more I think about the more I feel he has taken the piss out of me....

OP posts:
Branleuse · 03/03/2013 11:03

dump him. Please. Dont be an idiot. He doesnt even feel guilty, hes trying to put this on you

akaemmafrost · 03/03/2013 11:09

He thought you weren't that bothered about your relationship with him?

Bollocks, what a manipulative dickhead Angry!

He has been unfaithful to you and is now trying to wriggle out of it by pinning it back on you "it's YOUR fault because you didn't show me enough love" whine, whine. What a twat!

I would dump, immediately.

Delayingtactic · 03/03/2013 11:16

Fuck him. Not literally. he's a twat and deserves to be shown the door for not only sending those kind of texts but also taking you for an idiot you can't read dates and then playing the victim.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/03/2013 11:32

"why do men do this?"

They generally don't. There are plenty of decent, reasonable, grown-up, reliable men out there. He just isn't one of them, that's all. How old is this kidult?

Original poster
Blush12 · 03/03/2013 11:47

The kidult is 33, 6 years younger than me.

I thought we were happy well I was anyway..

What a knob, I am gutted.....

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/03/2013 11:49

Definitely a knob... or at least thinking with one. IME a man like that is never happy with just one woman on the go. Has to have a few that he can call/text/visit just to convince himself that he's 'still got it'. Insecurity meets vanity and a total lack of boundaries... Very poor really.

Xales · 03/03/2013 11:51

You have seen the dates so you know he is lying to you. If he hasn't already he is trying to get in her knickers, telling her she is gorgeous and sexy and that he is unhappy with you.

What more do you need to know?

Please consider a trip to an STI clinic for your own peace of mind as you have no idea what he has or hasn't done.

badinage · 03/03/2013 12:07

Just dump this unfaithful liar and move on.

He didn't do this because he was unhappy. He did it because he could. That's all you need to know really. You couldn't control this - no-one can.

practicality · 03/03/2013 13:13

You are not responsible for his happiness or his choice to dick around and then treat you like a prized fool.

Get rid. Sharpish. He is a massive tool.

Original poster
Blush12 · 04/03/2013 06:10

After doing some more snooping I have found out he / they have been messaging since April 2012 ooh god I feel so sick, also feel a fool. I

I want to end it but I am scared also my 18 year old DS works at DP business and I know that he will not let him work there.

OP posts:
HecateWhoopass · 04/03/2013 06:27

it is better for your 18 year old to find another job than for you to stay with a man who treats you like this.

He has lied, lied, lied and now he's trying to turn you into the bad guy.

Don't fall for that crap.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 04/03/2013 06:48

It would be illegal for him to sack your DS because you split up.

Telling her he was unhappy is so low. You poor thing :(

NotTreadingGrapes · 04/03/2013 07:02

They haven't just been "messaging since April 2012" though have they?

Don't allow him to let you think that's all it's been.

Original poster
Blush12 · 04/03/2013 07:31

Well to be honest he isn't saying anything he think I should be ok about it as they haven't "been shagging" his words Hmm

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 04/03/2013 07:32

He has been totally lying and disloyal

CogitoErgoSometimes · 04/03/2013 07:45

It was years ago, then it was months ago... why would you believe the 'no shagging' line any more than the rest of the rubbish he's been dishing out? The above is right about the employment situation. Your DS cannot be sacked just because your STBX falls out with you....

NotTreadingGrapes · 04/03/2013 07:58

Of course they "haven't been shagging"

They never have.....

NotSoNervous · 04/03/2013 08:10

What a horrible situation Hmm

You've caught him out on so many lies why would you believe 'no shagging'. He knows that the messages are wrong and being drink is no excuse

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