Desperately want another baby but not sure I want to continue relationship with DP longterm

[anonymum29]

I have name changed for this, just incase someone recognises me/DP knows my normal name.

DP and I have been together for 5 years. We are generally happy, don't really argue, we have a 2.5 year old who we both adore and DP is a brilliant, very hands-on dad.

We are also talking about TTC soon and I particularly am yearning for another baby. Plus, another baby now/in the next year is good for me career wise (rather than waiting longer). And I know any child would be lucky to have DP as a father.

But... I'm just not sure if I can see myself in this relationship in another 5 years. DP is a great guy, I love and care about him a lot, but I would not be bothered about no longer being in a romantic/intimate relationship with him. I find myself irritated about sharing a bed with him and dream of having my own room. I guess my fantasy would be that we live next door to each other and co-parent, still doing birthdays and holidays together and giving each other time off from childcare.

I am not sure if it is stupid to go ahead with having another baby in these circumstances, but on the other hand we both want another child and I have no doubts about DP's ability as a father.

your absolutely deluded, if i was your hubby and read this you would be out on your ear.

It would be incredibly selfish tbh and you must know that. You say everyone is happy enough at the moment but you think you will probably not want to be with him in 5 years time, so what, you plan on lying to him for 5 years?

Do you think he would want to spend the next five years planning for the rest of his life, when you are thinking it is only a temporary thing, you being a family.

If you really really think that this is not going to last, then do it now, he may well be happy, but you could assume in 5 years time he will still be just as happy. You want to keep him around for the security he can offer and the sperm he can provide!

it is very unfair on him. 5 years time he gets chucked out on his ear, and I assume you would expect full custody (not saying that is how it will work out), so you expect him to toddle off and see the kids as and when and have to start his life all over again.

This is all about you and what you want, no thought to your dp, or your current child, or any future children.

If you don't want to be with him long term, let him know, so he can be an equal decision maker in the massive decision about whether to have a second child, and he can decide if sticking around for a few years "just in case" is worth it or not.

He may decide to stick with it, he may not and be broken hearted and in 5 years time, have found someone who loves him for him, and not his sperm.