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Relationships

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Original poster

If you could afford to use paid OD sites, would you still use Match and POF?

28 replies

AlisonWitherspoon · 25/02/2013 20:46

Just that really.

New to OD and wonder if I'm missing something in dismissing Match and POF simply because I can afford a paid site.

Would appreciate your thoughts and views

OP posts:

LollyBobs · 25/02/2013 20:51

I tried paid OD sites in the past as I somehow thought that there would be more "serious" people who weren't just after a shag. I found it to be a waste of time and money.

I eventually met my OH through pof.

I think its all down to chance more than anything.

simbaandblue · 25/02/2013 23:34

I met my husband on POF and we now have a beautiful baby boy, 3 weeks old!! As with most sites you have to sift through the crap but there are diamonds too
Good luck in the OD world!! Hope you find a lovely man!

VictorTango · 25/02/2013 23:45

What do you wirte on the POF site where it says headline? How are you meant to know this stuff?

sooperdooper · 25/02/2013 23:45

I thought Match was paid for? There's no harm signing up to the free ones, it's definitely more luck than anything, you've got nothing to lose signing up to the free ones too

VictorTango · 25/02/2013 23:46

I don't think 'single mum of two desperately trying t hold it together' works somehow!

MirandaWest · 25/02/2013 23:47

I met a nice man on OK Cupid :)

MirandaWest · 25/02/2013 23:48

(Am still with him by the way :))

VictorTango · 25/02/2013 23:53

This is all good but what did you say in the bloody bio bit. If I can't even write that there isn't much hope is there!

LemonDrizzled · 26/02/2013 00:34

Went on a paid site related to my hobby and met a serious loon. Tried another "for professionals" and there wasn't anyone in my area. Tried POF and met the loveliest man ever who is now my DP and I lurve him.... but he is just a tiny bit crazy too... and he would probably say I am

LemonDrizzled · 26/02/2013 00:36

Oh and in the bio bit I said something jokey related to my hobby. As did DP-to-be but we have different hobbies! He looked so nice I started chatting to him about his hobby and now it is my hobby too.

VictorTango · 26/02/2013 00:38

I've joined POF and am now chatting to someone.

It feels very strange

FergusSingsTheBlues · 26/02/2013 00:47

Met my husband on match five years ago, he is amazing.

VictorTango · 26/02/2013 00:53

How did you all find the first meet up? I don't even know if I could do that!

How many men did you meet in real life from OD before you found these amazing men?

allaflutter · 26/02/2013 01:14

I'm really curious, these amazing, nice men that posters have met - how did you decide he was worth meeting? was it mainly liking a photo, what was his profile like, self-effacing or very confident?

Maybe what I'm doing wrong is dismissive bad profiles and meh photos..I mean did you go for the obvious or dug deeper? I've only used paid sites so far, but no luck, I mean met a few 'ok for a chat' guys but no one I really clicked with or been very attracted to, so possibly my methods at choosing who I meet are wrong.

allaflutter · 26/02/2013 01:16

I mean dismissing

FergusSingsTheBlues · 26/02/2013 02:31

My husband had crap photos up, stuff like him in a big coat, sunglasses etc, he thought -he was being all avant garde, but he was hiding his light under a bushel big time, he´s a really handsome fella. We messaged back and forth for a couple of weeks before we met up, so I think its fair to say we hit it off through our sense of humour initially.

But I think the main thing is we had both just moved to a new town and knew nobody and our motive wasnt to find anything more than a few dates and meet some new people. Think if id thought i was going to meet my husband that first night I would have run a mile.

I know theres loads of wierdos out there - I went on about ten dates before I met my husband but overall, god, it was such fun, and I´m really glad I did it.

Also, my husband only came to light once I unchecked the no divorcees box - I was being consciously judgy but had just come from a v messy relationship and wanted something straightforward.

So basically, dont take it too seriously, dont judge and be perceptive!!

MirandaWest · 26/02/2013 08:15

DP and I were both looking casually for someone to have a few meals with - that kind of thing. I decided to go out with him as he could string sentences together and didn't look unattractive. My photos were rubbish . But then we went and fell in love with each other and it is good :) .

Pannacotta2013 · 26/02/2013 08:42

I met my lovely lovely partner on OKCupid. I was on paid ones before.

I found that people's on-line persona and pictures were often very different from real life, so I developed a policy of meeting anyone who met my basic criteria (not economically challenged, not shorter than me, wanting a family in the future). This meant I met people who I'd never have bothered with if I was waiting for a 'spark' from their profile.

I think its a good strategy... basically its a numbers game, and you need to go on a good few dates to learn how it works and figure out what you really want as well. Good luck! Its fun x x

OhWesternWind · 26/02/2013 08:51

Met a wonderful man on PoF six months ago, going from strength to strength with him.

I agree with Pannacotta - I found a lot of the photos and profiles didn't match up with the real life man so I messaged any I thought were okay and met up with them - eight dates later found someone lovely.

I was on Match as well, which is a paid site, and didn't find it any better than the free sites. You just have to be judicious with sifting through the messages, and actually be proactive and message the ones that you like the look/sound of.

There is a really good dating thread on here and if you post on there people will give you lots of hints about writing a profile and will also "check" your profile and give feedback if you're up for that. Mine was very, very short (think three sentences or so) with two photos but it did the job.

Good luck!!

Original poster

AlisonWitherspoon · 26/02/2013 23:32

Is it a good idea to be on several sites at the same time, or does that just look desparate?

OP posts:

TranceDaemon · 27/02/2013 01:15

I met my lovely DH on POF! You just need to sort the wheat from the chaff as it were, and dump at the first sign of game playing.

VictorTango · 27/02/2013 10:28

Where is that thread OhWesternWind?

OhWesternWind · 27/02/2013 10:38

It's called dating thread 43, usually near the top of the relationships board.

bestsonever · 27/02/2013 12:22

I met some strange men on POF, but it was free at the time. I'm hoping there is better quality with payed sites, was certainly better on match a few years ago - though odd ones can appear anywhere I guess.

Leedsboy · 28/02/2013 11:05

I went on POF - no luck, some others had interest but usually too far away. I went on Uniform Dating and four months later we are buying a house. On paper it shouldn't work - I'm from Yorkshire, she's half Cornish but both live in Cornwall. But I have a new job in East Lothian soon and partner is happy to follow in August. The right person is priceless!

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