decree nisi being read in court tomorrow, ex plans to attend & defend

[sparklesunshine]

I filed for unreasonable behaviour, he acknowledged service but did not file a response within the timescale required so it got put before the judge without him. Judge agreed my grounds were enough and plans to read it out tomorrow as undefended. If my ex turns up (as he plans to) to argue against it, will it still go ahead? Do I absolutely have to attend? If I do, what do I need to bring with me?

[jayho]

Is the cost order for today's hearing? If so, I think you can charge him all reasonable legal costs you have incurred in relation to the hearing. So preparation of docs, submission, attendance. Can someone correct me if I'm wrong?

[NicknameTaken]

Yes, my ex has been a litigant in person and got gobsmacking amounts of leniency from the court, which has added and added to my costs.

So worst case scenario, you get to divorce him on the basis of two year's separation in July. Might be worth waiting a few months if your ex won't cooperate?

[sparklesunshine]

Do I have any guarentee he would agree to the petition in July?

I really don't understand how the judges can accept this. I have a lawyer because this (more the children issues, but this too) is important to me, plus I found him difficult to say the least when we were together. it's partially a buffer from his bullsht, and frankly from intimidation at the beginning. why is he getting extra time, help, benefit of the doubt because he's too cheap or arrogant to get proper advice? why is this something that is rewarded?

no costs have been ordered yet, the judge just said they would be likely in future. any one know if i could still request them if i did wait until July?

[iheartdusty]

Don't wait until July because i) you would have to issue a new petition and pay a new fee (you can't add it to your existing petition because the 2 years' separation hadn't expired by the date of that petition); and ii) it sounds like he won't agree anyway and you must have consent of the other party for a divorce based on 2 years separation.

You have sent him an email asking what he'll agree to. Either he will reply with something acceptable, or he'll reply with some nonsense, or he won't reply. If the first, then amend your petition accordingly and re-submit it. If the second or third, give him (say) 2 weeks to reply then copy all the emails to the court and re-submit your statement with a covering letter asking that no more time be given to him as he failed to file an Answer when he had the chance.

[sparklesunshine]

ok. thanks for that iheartdusty. the thing that had me most disparing was that this would take another four months. (i petitioned in Oct).

[jayho]

.........but you'll be free of him the rest of your life, slowly slowly etc. Took me two years and in the end although I was desperate to be shot of him and because I'm a vindictive cow I made him wait six weeks for the decree absolute........... twas bliss to be in charge.

[sparklesunshine]

that sounds fantastic jayho, although i'm leaping at the absolute as soon as it's available. people keep saying 2 years... that's only 5 more months. please let this have settled by then.