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Original poster

Slept with my brothers friend...

35 replies

Movingforward123 · 06/02/2013 22:12

So I already posted about this on the dating thread but it's still playing on my mind!

I recently went out with my brother and his friends, I slept with one of his friends! The guy did say to me he found me attractive for sometime but felt we shouldn't sleep together because of my brother. And if I was interested in him that it might be different if we started dating etc but not to just sleep together. Anyway by the end of the night he changed his mind and we slept together.

We were texting after that then spoke on the phone and I sad that I was not comfortable telling my brother and said we would just be friends.

My brother is very over protective and immature and as I don't see this as a relationship but just some fun I know my brother would not be happy about it! And would probably fall out with me and his best friend.

Anyway the sex was quite good, much better then I've had for a while and now I feel annoyed that I can't see this guy because of my brother.

His friend told me that he had previously told my brother he thought I was really nice and he found me attractive. And said that my brother could be ok with us seeing each other. So he did sound interested. And I would like to see him again but I don't want anyone to know.

I'm always very private about my sex life and as I have been single for a few years (bar casual relationships) then I don't want my whole family to know if im seeing this guy.

Anyway sorry for rambling but I just wanted to chat about it! Sad

OP posts:
MechanicalTheatre · 06/02/2013 22:15

I would be telling my brother to butt out and knobbing his friend senseless.

Locketjuice · 06/02/2013 22:18

I would see how things go before telling your brother.. If it was anyone else you wouldn't so I don't see why you have to tell him.. Not like its going to stop you or you wouldn't have had sex to begin with Wink

That wasnt meant to sound so mean by the way Grin

kalidanger · 06/02/2013 22:23

Are you actually scared of what your brother might think about this?

Why not date his friend and see if you get on, then break it to your brother later, when there's something to tell him. I can imagine that he might not react terribly well to either of you saying "Yeah, we shagged!", for various reasons but dating should be fine, right?

something2say · 06/02/2013 22:23

And you do not belong to your brother either....in a sense that he has the right to approve of who you go out with.....like you are his property or something.....

tinkertitonk · 06/02/2013 22:23

+1 to mechanical.

Is he cute, BTW? You say he finds you attractive but are silent about your own lust feelings.

Polyethyl · 06/02/2013 22:30

I married my brother's friend. If you like him then enjoy. Your brother will have to learn to cope - just as mine had to.

Original poster
Movingforward123 · 06/02/2013 23:07

mech Grin would love too Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
Movingforward123 · 06/02/2013 23:08

locket that's how I feel about it, except I don't feel it would ever get to a relationship stage with this guy. So wouldn't feel the need to tell him, as I don't feel I would ever marry him!

OP posts:
Original poster
Movingforward123 · 06/02/2013 23:09

kalid I am worried what he will say/ think. He has serious issues with women and feel like me sleeping with his best Mate wouldn't help.

I get that's not my problem but still does help that I feel bad!

OP posts:
PureQuintessence · 06/02/2013 23:10

Dont shag shit on your own doorstep.

Original poster
Movingforward123 · 06/02/2013 23:14

tinker good question. Well I think this is my other issue. I havnt ever felt that I fancied him before that night. But after sleeping with him and enjoying it! And speaking to him and seeing that he is actually quite sweet, I like him. But looks wise he's not my type and think we may look odd together.

Also he is about 3 years younger then me and as he is my younger brothers friend always seemed kinda stupid to me Confused which I feel bad saying.

Also if any of my family knew I would feel embarrassed!

But and that's a big but! I still would like to see him again!

OP posts:
MechanicalTheatre · 06/02/2013 23:19

I am being serious! I suppose it's easy for me to say because I'm not close to my brother at all, but I would definitely go for it, wouldn't think about it twice.

Original poster
Movingforward123 · 06/02/2013 23:21

Grin even if you felt like you were not suited and it would just be a sex/friends kinda thing?

OP posts:
Original poster
Movingforward123 · 06/02/2013 23:24

Also the problem is the guy, he's very loyal to my brother and said he would have to tell him he wanted to date me or something!

And when I spoke to the guy he sounded like he didn't want just a fling because I was his best mates sister! And I don't want to hurt him. He seemed sweet really.

OP posts:
MechanicalTheatre · 06/02/2013 23:25

Me? Yeah, for real.

And then I would text my brother the details. JUST TO WRECK HIS HEAD.

Original poster
Movingforward123 · 06/02/2013 23:29

And because I've already spoke to the guy and we both said we would leave it, then what am I meant to do now?

I also feel weird leaving it, as feel like I put the moves on him while drunk, he asked me a few times if I would still be interested after or was it like a one night thing! I said I would still be interested! And now we have said we will leave it!

I don't want to just leave it like this!!

OP posts:
BettySuarez · 06/02/2013 23:30

Your sex life is no-ones business but your own. I completely fail to see why you would even engage in conversation about it with family.

OP - are you quite young? This sounds like a late teens/early 20's kind of issue

Original poster
Movingforward123 · 06/02/2013 23:34

I'm late 20s and my brother is early 20s! The reason it's an issue to me is because my brother completely overreacts about everything.

And my whole family are very judgemental so I always keep my business very private.

OP posts:
BIWI · 06/02/2013 23:36

What on earth difference does it make that he's a friend of your brother? I really don't get it!

If you like him/want to shag him - go right ahead.

BettySuarez · 06/02/2013 23:40

Well then continue to keep your business very private by telling them that it is absolutely none of theirs

You can't live in fear of your families reactions

Your brother needs to grow up and your family needs to butt out.

But never mind that. Tell us about the sex!

Original poster
Movingforward123 · 06/02/2013 23:48

Shock well I was drunk so can't remember all of it! But I know it was going on for a good few hours!
Maybe about 4/5 hours... As he left about 9.30am.

And I always struggle to find someone to keep me satisfied I always feel they don't last long enough.

Oh and he was quite big Wink not the biggest I've had but I've seen quite a few smaller Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Movingforward123 · 06/02/2013 23:52

Even if what all if you are saying does sink in and I Want to see him again, what can i do now?

I've already told him we will leave it. And he has already told me he can't just see me behind my brothers back Confused

Suggestions Blush

OP posts:
MechanicalTheatre · 06/02/2013 23:55

I literally cannot get my head around the fact that people are so concerned about their family's sex lives. It is alien to me.

You are both consenting adults. There is no more to it as far as I'm concerned. Tell your brother or don't, he'll just have to accept it.

Locketjuice · 07/02/2013 06:55

If you HAVE to tell him, say your going for a drink, doubt he will want to know his friend is well hung and goes for 4/5 hours Wink

meditrina · 07/02/2013 07:11

It's simple: do you want relationship or a few semi-casual encounters?

Siblings' friends are always high-risk territory, because the fall out can be so messy if/when you break up - rarely worth it for casual sex.

It sounds as if neither of you is interested enough to take this forward: you've told him so, he's told you. I suggest you believe each other.