Dating chat thread still going! Number 39

[lubeybooby]

Here we are all

Dating related chit chat here

I don't think anyone can win with the texting...incessant is 'too much'...a handful a day is too little...

The only thing I would say is listen to what he tells you. If he says he 'isn't into anything heavy' but then does the incessant texting, you're gettin mixed messages...which is a head-fuck. By all means 'fill your boots' but be cautious of any emotional entanglement with someone who says one thing and does another.

What are you doing on Friday, Watch? See how you feel when you see him again.

If I meet someone who keeps texting I usually end the conversation and say I'm busy and have to get on, or I'm going to bed etc. That's just me as I find it really annoying.

Thanks for your input earlier ladies. Having pondered on it and thought about why my spidey senses were prickling so much..even down to his choice of place to meet..I sent a text saying I'd changed my mind about meeting. I felt better.

A handful a day would seem too much for me though. Guess it's just me but I would prefer a quick phone call a day instead.

I do usually hate constant texting. But i like it from him. Its not stopping me doing anythinh we both only reply when we are free.

It is mixed messages i think. Im not going to go all hearts and flowers over him for sure. And will be going with a fill my boots mentality. But there is somethinh there ...

Hi, I've not been online for ages, and I wanted to get some advice!

I went out with my brother and his friends for drinks a few nights ago, and I slept with one of his friends! My brother is really overprotective, and would completely kill me and his friend if he knew.

It's his best friend, and as I was drunk I didn't care at the time what he would think. His friend said it's not a good idea but said he does like me. He also asked a few times if I would want to see him again after that night to which I said yes of course. I think he wouldn't have slept with me as a one night thing as he cares too much about my brother!

So we slept together and now that I'm sober I know it's not a good idea and really unfair to my brother.

He has been texting me and I said I will call him tonight! I'm going to have to tell him it can't happen again (even though I enjoyed it)

God I feel terrible!

Movinghow does your brother get to decide who you do or dont have sex with??
this seems like some kind of primitive 'tribal lore' where the men folk own the women folk and are in control of their sexuality.

we live in a modern liberal democracy, how is it unfair to your brother?

Why is it unfair to your brother?

And watch - I think there's something there as well. But Keep your guard up.

when men do this it seems tantamount to admitting that by having sex with a woman they are somhow degrading or demeaning her, so out of respect to their friends they agree not to 'defile' those women who 'belong' to their freinds.

It also smacks of situations where the families honor is connected to the womens chastity

Moving, you're a grown woman and your sex life is not your brother's business.

Watch you might need shallow boots. Red flags all over.

Moving it really has nothing to do with your brother. Presuming you're not twelve!

Just tell him to do one if he says anything. Seriously.

Watch - tread cautiously. He sounds like another who doesn't really know what he wants. He was indifferent straight after sex, I don't like that. All pally now, wouldn't surprise me if he isn't one of those that will turn soon and say YOU are too clingy and he said he only wanted fun blah blah blah

Moving, it's got sod all to do with your brother. Why do you think it does?

I'm still sad - have had a call with the Moose today though and he was nice - for a bodybuilder lol Might arrange a coffee with him to see. And I will contact LennyKravitz tomorrow to see if he wants a coffee too.

but still sad

Hope all the poorly people are feeling better today

Thanks so much to everyone who responded to my post earlier.

KinNora and Velvet, can't believe you both took the time to post when you're ill. KinNora, you're absolutely right about the choice you mention, and I definitely don't want to never have a relationship again, so guess I have no choice but to take the risk. Velvet, I tend to think the same as you - that nothing will work out for me. I know I need to think more positively! So glad that things are going well with Cuthbert, btw.

ike and 48, thanks. (Totally agree with the not worrying thing - just wish I could put it into practice!)

OWW, your post made me cry! The hiding behind defensive walls bit - I realise that's what I've started to do, and, like you say, I'm not being true to myself, and that makes me feel even worse. Hope the antibiotics are working.

Evening all,

Watch - you sound like you know what you are doing. Caution is good. I would struggle but you sound like it is all under control.

Moving - if you like him and he likes you then what is the prob. Sounds brill to me.

Can anyone read my profile on pof and see if I come across too strong and independent. Someone commented that I seem like a really confident person. I'm not but suppose I am doing a bit of fake it till I make it. Just want to make sure I'm not putting men off.

I have got another date lined up with a bit older man but I'm not sure how I feel about it. Me complicated still enters my mind a lot!! He is the first man in ages that I have wanted to bed! I am usually a real prude and have never said that about a man before (I know I need to grow up!!)

No more if men are put off by you being confident they are the wrong men. PM me if you'd like another opinion

Nice Good call

too strong and independent
whats bad about being strong and independent..no-one would say a man was too strong & independent.
If being weak and dependant is the only way to get men to like you then I'll stay single!!

What Juliette and Mercury said, Nomore.

Okay. Just worry I might put people off. I am strong and if one more person tells me I need a strong man I might scream. Do you Think strong men like weaker women?

My friends have all said I am really competent and capable and that nothing stand in my way. If that is the case why am I an in confident mess inside? Having said that I have had the year from hell but I am determined to make things better and I am trying to date, applying for promotion, sorting divorce, lost 3st, revamped my image so I guess from the outside I do look controlled!! Just need to work in my brain!!

some strong men will like weak women, but some strong men will like strong women :o

...and some strong men like strong women because they find it fun to try and reign them in, bring them to heel

NoMore a lot of men are scared of independent, strong-minded women. I mentioned earlier today my friend who is v successful and drives an expensive car (that cost more than I earn in a year) and who completely intimidates every man she meets. She's been single for over 10 years.

I have found most men I have dated are put off by the fact I have a good job and a large house. One charmer once asked how much my Ex was giving me to keep me in my house and was put in his place when I said nothing.

I thought when I started OD that the fact I was financially secure, could manage on my own etc was a plus (my lovely Ex said I was the most independent woman he had ever met, it was one of the things he loved about me - so if he loved it, surely other men would too?) but what I found was that it is off-putting for a lot of men. It's been said to me that men can't see why I would want them, when I have so much already, and hence why they lose interest. I'm not sure I understand that reasoning but it seems to be the way it is.

The right man however, would appreciate and value you as you are. My lovely Ex did, so I know it's possible. I hope that Cuthbert will too.

winefiend welcome, you'll fit right in! :)