O shit, garlic. Have you put in an appeal? Do you have law centre anywhere near you?
Cheers for the tips, honey. I adore tomatoes and lemons but they're going out the window and I intend to to act on all of your tips - for which I thank you very much and I'm greatly encouraged by Bunty's endorsement.
It seems skiing is the most likely culprit and, more specifically, my love of slalom and moguls, cafecito.
Having once witnessed an orthopaedic surgeon carve a Thanksgiving turkey, I vowed never to put my life bod in their hands. I reckon that turkey has exacted vengeance on the wrong party 
Just about every male ortho surgeon I've met has been a rugby player and I'm aware it's something of a a Black & Decker and quick fix cement speciality for gung-ho guys, nevertheless I won't be allowing them to shut me up put me under so I guess any conversation in theatre will be of the bellowing over the sound of the drill variety.
I'm giving it 3 months to see if natural remedies combined with hard prescription drugs get it under control and, if not, I'll bite the bullet and go for surgery. I'm a lousy very impatient patient and the pain coupled with incapacitation is already beginning to drive me nuts.
I know the species has to adapt to survive but my adaptation has taken the form of me becoming virtually housebound not being able to run to save my life 
This is the last time I'll bang on about it - in the general scheme of things I'm blessed and it could be both knees a lot worse.
On the bright side, I guess if I go Stateside for an op I'll get to ride in one of those airport buggys 'cos there's no way I'll be able to hobble from departure lounge to boarding gate at Heathrow or Gatwick, with or without hand luggage 
Golly gosh, look at the time! Here come the day shift 