I don't like my step-daughter. Am I evil?

[missmaryp]

I feel pretty horrible.

To put this in perspective - I don't particularly like some of my friends children, because we are all individuals at the end of the day - and some people grate on others.

The stepdaughter in question is 7, I've known her since she was 3, nearly 4, and my dislike for her has stayed pretty much the same throughout. I suppose it's the way she has been bought up, which is quite different to my own daughter, and she just irritates me.

I've tried, really tried, to act like a bloody adult and get over it. Just recently, I decorated and carpeted our spare room for her for when she stays over as a way of trying to give us a fresh start in my own mind. It hasn't worked. Whenever she stays over for the weekend, I can feel that I'm not my usual self, because I'm basically forced to spend time with somebody I don't want to - and who irritates my own daughter as well.

I'm well aware this is embarrassing, childish behaviour. But I don't know how to stop the way I feel.

Me and her dad aren't getting on so well at the moment either, of course I've never vocalised my feelings but he's not stupid, he can see that I chance when she's around.

Has anyone been in a similar position who can offer advice on how I can sort myself out? Or is walking away and letting him find someone who truly cares for his daughter the kind/best thing to do?

P.S I really am aware that my feelings are awful, and I would appreciate constructive advice rather than confirmation that I'm a bitch.

[SunflowerTed]

I’m a stepmother and it was very very hard at first - I get where you are coming from but that 7 year old is a confused little girl . My partner was widowed With an 8 year old. I didn’t like my stepson as he resented me! I became good at pretence but put in the work and tried to ignore his nastiness. At the end of the day children have no choice in these situations and we either fuck them up more or try and make it work. you’ve got to be the adult and try your very best. Fast forward 14 years - I love my stepson and I’m so happy we got through as we have a great relationship