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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Formal apology to MN and Twinkie

40 replies

foolish · 14/01/2004 14:22

I am humbly taking the advice of a wiser MNer than I and wish to make the following known:

I sincerely regret my inconsiderate 'joke' and e-mail to Twinkie. From her posts since on MN and her e-mails to me personally she has made her disgust know to me and roundly condemns me, I accept both of these.

Twinkie,
I am very upset that I have caused you so much pain, pain you don't appear to deserve. I haven't slept much since and would never forgive myself if I in anyway may be contributing to damaging your chances today. Whether you appreciate it or not, my thoughts are with you. I am not malicious, just foolish and childish.

Dadslib has left MN for good, I saw to that on Tuesday, tech has now made it a banned 'chat name' as would befit. I think it is for the best. (I understand others have also tried to get me banned separately.)

M2T, sobernow, suzywong, Enid, victoriapeckham, dinosaur and others all appear glad to see the back of me, so they have their wish. I hope this at least does some good.

All the time I have posted on MN Twinkie has been outspoken in her opposition to most things I have said. I have disliked this and felt wronged by her, but not to the extent I have hurt her now. I am ashamed. I am especially ashamed as she had tried to be friendly to me lately, and my timing in relation to her court hearing could not have been worse.

To be honest I was leaving anyway, as I was starting to get very upset about constant abuse from MNer's calling me an a*hole and to*er day-in, day-out. On Monday, the 'Message to Dadslib' slag-fest was the final straw, so I childishly lashed out, Twinkie, SuzyWong and others got in the way.

(StressyHead, if it was you who started 'that' thread, accept my happiness and complete acceptance of your pure motives. )

I also humbly apologise to all those other MNer's whom I abused on Monday. You are not bitches, sly cows and vultures, that was childish.

I am very very sad at having to leave, but fully understand all the opposition to me. When very level headed MNer's like Codswallop think everyone should ignore me, its time to go. Ignore this too if you like!

As MNer's wisely say, this will all blow over and in a few days/weeks, MNers will say 'dadslib.... who?', which I would be pleased about.

I let myself down, but more importantly let Mumsnet down. Sorry Mumsnet.

(You will not hear from DL or foolish again.)

OP posts:

CountessDracula · 14/01/2004 14:27

Foolish that's a very sad post. I appreciate that you scared Twinkie witless and that it was uncaring and bad timing, but I do feel that after an apology like this and a period of cooling off that maybe you will come back sometime?

I for one have mostly liked your posts and whilst I feel that you can be untactful and unneccesarily outspoken at times I think your motives in general are good and that you have added a lot to mumsnet, a view from the other side so to speak.

I wish you luck and hope your probs with your dw improve. xx

codswallop · 14/01/2004 14:27

dramatic dl!

codswallop · 14/01/2004 14:28

i DITTO THE DRAC. (in a sensible way)

(I meant that people should not rise so easily BTW)

charlieplus3 · 14/01/2004 14:30

i also have very foolishly upset a lovely person on mumsnet. But i apologised and the mums understood. We are all human and its hard sometimes not to voice your opionon, right or wrong. Mine was a one off and i feel these mums can be a great help to me. It can be very lonely sometimes. Dont cut yourself off. Try and build bridges!! I am!

katierocket · 14/01/2004 14:31

I'm sorry if this sounds flippant but I just can't help it.
are we in groundhog day?
isn't DL always leaving never to return?

Hulababy · 14/01/2004 14:31

I think it is really nice of you to offer such an apology DL/foolish. I hope it is taken in the way it is meant

Northerner · 14/01/2004 14:33

Hi foolish. I wasn't around on Monday or Tuesday so not really too sure what went on exactly and haven't got time to read all the threads. But I can guess that another silly joke backfired. If you feel that leaving MN is the best way then I wish you lots of luck.

You did bring good things to MN also, please don't forget that!

LOL
NNer

JanH · 14/01/2004 14:34

It's a bit of an Anne of Green Gables apology but none the worse for that - as long as it is as sincere as hers...

codswallop · 14/01/2004 14:35

Oh Jan - give him a break!

oliveoil · 14/01/2004 14:36

Thankfully I was off work when all this mudslinging started and only read the Arsenal thread as I thought it would relate to me being a football widow too (well it did start off that way) and I was saddened at how a (bad) joke disintergrated into a free for all. I don't think you meant it spitefully and I do think it should have just been between you and Twinkie - who understandably was furious and upset with you in her situation.

Hopefully she will accept your apology and we can draw a line under the whole sorry mess.

You will have to come back anyway, who am I going to ask for advice on the Lake District?

PS New name - how about Size10's (foot in mouth, geddit?)

Hulababy · 14/01/2004 14:38

Please let this thread NOT end up being nasty as well. MN isn't about that surely

codswallop · 14/01/2004 14:41

yes and we will not all bite when you do a D**B

DSW · 14/01/2004 14:42

I echo Oliveoil I wasn't involved at all but read the thread. I would be sorry to see you go. As I would be sorry to see Twinkie go.

Hopefully your apologies will be accepted and you will carry on posting.

charlieplus3 · 14/01/2004 14:42

think shes gone! its a shame. i was tempted but ive really taken a liking to you all.

charlieplus3 · 14/01/2004 14:43

sorry him

Hulababy · 14/01/2004 14:43

I don't think Twinkie has gone. She just had her posts removed when all this kicked off. She is in court today.

ThomCat · 14/01/2004 14:44

Foolish - I wasn't involved in any slagging off and don't want to be involved. You and I once had a bit of a debate about the word cripple on a thread where you were asking for advice and where I defended you where I felt you needed it. I do think that you've jumped in with size 10 feet soemtimes but I think you've been given an incredibly hard time in return so........
I hope you feel you can come back on Mumsnet if you need to. Perhaps under your new name you'll be a little more sensitive? I hope for both.

charlieplus3 · 14/01/2004 14:45

read that earlir. Hope it all goes well for her.Gonna go for a cuppa. Bye. hope to chatlater

SpringChicken · 14/01/2004 14:46

I agree with CountessD!

You were a complete twit DL but you have realised that now - yes, maybe he will do it again but that is just him - I honestly don't believe he is a nsty or vindictive person!

He has been big enough to make a formal apology to many MN'ers and i think at some point in the future he should be welcomed back with a clean slate.

Best of luck DL x

charlieplus3 · 14/01/2004 14:52

Hulababy. Didnt mean twinkie meant DL/Foolish but got sexs confused.

JanHR · 14/01/2004 15:38

Dadslib/foolish I too would be sorry to see you go. I read a little of those threads but decided not ot get involved. You now realised your mistake and the upset you caused.

You have offered some good advice from the male perspctive and that is valued by me and hopefully many other MNers.

I hope that we see you on mumsnet again in the future.

If not I wish you all the best with your DW.

Lou33 · 14/01/2004 15:46

I think it takes a lot to come on after everything that he said, and make such a complete apology. If it were aimed at me I would accept it, and hope noone tried to turn this thread into another depressing debate.

Well done foolish for doing the right thing.

CountessDracula · 14/01/2004 15:51

I suspect Twinkie will have too much on her plate today to even look at this!

M2T · 14/01/2004 15:58

Oh FFS!

Well I just read a copy of your message you sent Twinkie Dadslib! And don't appreciate being called a liar behind my back..... Sorry if I don't share all your views people as to this being a humble apology. He accused me of pretending to be scared when he posted details about me. Hmmm yesh right.... whatever.

yeah.... Ground Hog day true enough.

Hulababy · 14/01/2004 16:00

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T LET THIS THREAD GET OUT OF HAND LIKE THE OTHERS!!!

I think as DL has had the decency to apologise then this thread at least should be left to that. As my nana used to ay "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything" at least on this thread.

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