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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Formal apology to MN and Twinkie

40 replies

foolish · 14/01/2004 14:22

I am humbly taking the advice of a wiser MNer than I and wish to make the following known:

I sincerely regret my inconsiderate 'joke' and e-mail to Twinkie. From her posts since on MN and her e-mails to me personally she has made her disgust know to me and roundly condemns me, I accept both of these.

Twinkie,
I am very upset that I have caused you so much pain, pain you don't appear to deserve. I haven't slept much since and would never forgive myself if I in anyway may be contributing to damaging your chances today. Whether you appreciate it or not, my thoughts are with you. I am not malicious, just foolish and childish.

Dadslib has left MN for good, I saw to that on Tuesday, tech has now made it a banned 'chat name' as would befit. I think it is for the best. (I understand others have also tried to get me banned separately.)

M2T, sobernow, suzywong, Enid, victoriapeckham, dinosaur and others all appear glad to see the back of me, so they have their wish. I hope this at least does some good.

All the time I have posted on MN Twinkie has been outspoken in her opposition to most things I have said. I have disliked this and felt wronged by her, but not to the extent I have hurt her now. I am ashamed. I am especially ashamed as she had tried to be friendly to me lately, and my timing in relation to her court hearing could not have been worse.

To be honest I was leaving anyway, as I was starting to get very upset about constant abuse from MNer's calling me an a*hole and to*er day-in, day-out. On Monday, the 'Message to Dadslib' slag-fest was the final straw, so I childishly lashed out, Twinkie, SuzyWong and others got in the way.

(StressyHead, if it was you who started 'that' thread, accept my happiness and complete acceptance of your pure motives. )

I also humbly apologise to all those other MNer's whom I abused on Monday. You are not bitches, sly cows and vultures, that was childish.

I am very very sad at having to leave, but fully understand all the opposition to me. When very level headed MNer's like Codswallop think everyone should ignore me, its time to go. Ignore this too if you like!

As MNer's wisely say, this will all blow over and in a few days/weeks, MNers will say 'dadslib.... who?', which I would be pleased about.

I let myself down, but more importantly let Mumsnet down. Sorry Mumsnet.

(You will not hear from DL or foolish again.)

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 14/01/2004 16:04

M2T LEAVE IT. If you want to converse with DL on the subject then mail him directly, he has said sorry and I think that starting your post with OH FFS is not constructive and makes you as bad as him in the untactful and unnecessarily outspoken stakes.

M2T · 14/01/2004 16:25

I have emailed him. I have read his emails though... and if you had you would see that this isn't an apology.... its a popularity and sympathy vote. Thought you all had a right to know.

And thanks CD I don't think am anything like DL. There I'm not going to say anything else about it!

charlize · 14/01/2004 16:32

I have read all the threads that dadslib is talking about and think we should give him a bit of support. Isn't that what mumsnet is about?
He might have been less than tactful but I don't think he means any harm and he has profusly apologised.

flamingo · 14/01/2004 19:26

Well, I will miss you.

zebra · 14/01/2004 20:24

Also sorry you're going, DL.

Chinchilla · 14/01/2004 21:18

Me too. We need more men on here. Women can sympathise with us when our dhs are being pratts, but men can explain it!

lilibet · 14/01/2004 21:21

Very dignified post dl, I will be sorry to see you go and hope that after a cooling off period you will be back. I hope that all your efforts in making your marriage work come to fruition and that your ds stays happy and healthy.

I for one, would be glad to let you buy me a drink on Saturday

Batters · 14/01/2004 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FairyMum · 15/01/2004 08:14

I think it's a shame DL leaves Mumsnet too. I have no idea what DL has done to upset some people, but why not just sort that out between the people involved? I think it's good to see men on Mumsnet too. I am sure DL will come back with another name though

M2T · 15/01/2004 08:56

Oh Batters..... not about me.... its' about DL and twinkie. Give it a rest eh??! That is a stuck record really. I only posted twice!

Has anyone heard from Twinkie by the way? I haven't seen anything about the court case. Has any news been posted that I have missed??

JanH · 15/01/2004 09:08

M2T, it's going into the 2nd day today - SB34 texted her a couple of times yesterday around 5.30pm - it's on that Twinkie thread.

M2T · 15/01/2004 09:09

Thanks Janh - Just found it. Hope it doesn't drag on any longer for her....

doormat · 15/01/2004 13:09

I hear the violins playing YET AGAIN

Brilliant news

Rhubarb · 15/01/2004 13:41

I said I wanted nothing more to do with this silly quarrel, but DL has asked me to publish a further apology to M2T as he cannot now access Mumsnet anymore (or perhaps will not). Just for the record, I am not taking anyone's side here but I will speak out if I think someone is being treated unfairly, and I did think DL was being treated unfairly. But I haven't forgotten poor Twinkie and my emails to DL do not mean that I am siding against her, nor do my views necessarily match those of DL's.

But here is his apology,

[I said foolish wouldn't post again, but I now realise I have a further apology to make to M2T before foolish also 'dies':

In my e-mail to Twinkie on Tuesday I was still bitter about what had gone on and accused Twinkie of 'hamming it up' and being an 'actress', so M2T is quite right to be cynical about this apology, as she has seen that e-mail. Please accept this and do not think M2T is behaving out of turn. Please also accept I was behaving childishly then also and now realise Twinkie was genuinely scared I was her x2B, a senario that hadn't even occurred to me at the time of my insensitive 'joke'.

In that e-mail I said M2T had not been scared by my 'stalking' thread last year. This isn't and was never correct. I apologise M2T, you are not a liar. What I should have said was that you saw the funny side of it eventually, not immediately, as you told me at the time by e-mail. I was confused and recalled the incident wrongly and did you an injustice.

Whilst this 'MrTwinkie' incident was an innocent joke, my M2T stalking was not, I was devious and M2T was quite rightly upset. I do not think the two things can be compared, M2T was very generous to see the funny side of that incident.

This is a mess. All of my own making.

Dadslib is now dead, in respect for the hurt caused to Twinkie. Dadslib should have 'died' in respect for M2T in hindsight.

M2T: If you have e-mailed me, it is to the wrong address. Contact me through MN if you need to.]

I think this should be taken as the last word on the subject. There's been enough hurt caused and I cannot still believe that things have gotten so far out of control. No wonder people are leaving Mumsnet, it's such bad publicity for such a good site and I think we all owe an apology to Carrie, Justine and Rachel.

tanzie · 15/01/2004 22:44

I'll miss his posts, he was entertaining, but also seems to have a bit of a warped sense of humour.

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